Kaleidoscope
by sonicarutha
Summary: Aizen is dead and everyone can rejoice in the peace. However, it is far from peaceful as everyone realizes that Aizen was not the end of their problems as they all start to fall apart in the wake of the despair. Sequel to Falling Petals.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Kaleidoscope  
**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Kira x Hinamori, and Renji x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC (sorry), language, and minor sexual material  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach** Tite Kubo does.

**

* * *

**It was all over. All of the pain had closed on the day when those two men walked into the distance to return to Hueco Mundo. At that moment, Ukitake Juushirou was breathing easy. They had changed since that day. They had become one nation instead of thirteen divisions split apart from one another. Every captain position was filled and every division was prospering. The transition was complete.

Still, his heart broke every time that he looked around the office, he remembered Yamamoto. He was with him the night that he died, his last words ringing through his head. All he could remember was where the key was located. He thought to himself that this still wasn't real, that it was still a dream that was being repeated again and again in his head. But everyday he was shown that it was no dream.

He looked out the window at his kingdom; the smiling faces of the shinigami walking down the street made him realize that in the past months that he had done something right. He had pieced them all together.

"I did what you wanted me to, sensei," he breathed. "I did everything that you wanted me to…"

At that moment there was a knock on the door. "Soutaichou?"

Ukitake turned to the door as he recognized that voice, a sigh passing his lips. "What is it, Izuru?"

The door opened as Kira Izuru walked through the door. Kira had done wonders for the 3rd Division. What was once considered the laughing stock of all of the Soul Society was now one of the strongest factions of his army. Kira showed them that they had to stick together and showed them the strength that Ukitake had taught him. The formerly meek lieutenant was gone and only Captain Kira was left in his wake. Nothing was left but a hard working, distant man.

"I was wondering what we are to do about our lieutenant situation," Kira breathed as he walked forward. "A lot of our divisions don't have adjutants. And you know that these are difficult times for the Soul Society. Since the passing of Yamamoto…"

Ukitake closed his eyes as Kira kept talking. He remembered what Ichimaru Gin had told him, Aizen might not be dead. He looked over at Kira and took a deep breath. Ever since Yamamoto died, Ukitake had feared that if Aizen ever came back, he would be helpless. Aizen was the one who threw the society into what it was in today, and although they had new captains to control the divisions, he couldn't help but remember the captains that he had broken. Both Kuchiki and Kyouraku had become the height of all of the gossip in all of the Soul Society, the word rape coming up for both of them. Ukitake closed his eyes as he thought about that, his stomach churning as he knew that could have happened.

"Ukitake-sama?" Kira asked, breaking the captain commander out of his stupor. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Ukitake answered. "I know very well the situation that we're in. And I can assure you that we'll be out of it very soon. Lieutenants will be assigned. We already have one for the 13th Division and it's only a matter of time until everyone follows suit."

"I am worried for the 5th Division. Hinamori doesn't have a lieutenant and I fear that her training is not going right on schedule…" Kira closed his eyes as he thought of the progress that Hinamori was making with Tobiume.

"She's going at a wondrous pace. I have trained her well," Ukitake breathed. "But I know that's not why you came to me. Have there been problems? You just got together…"

Kira closed his eyes and sighed as he was readying himself to answer that question. "It's Hisagi-taichou. She spends most of her time with him praying that he'll get better. I don't like all of the attention that she's giving him."

"He needs it," Ukitake answered as he looked down at the paperwork, remembering what Tousen and Ichimaru had told him.

The said that it was the only way to save his life, that he only lived because the will that Aizen's power held. It didn't want to fade away and it ate at Hisagi like a disease. Ukitake recalled all of the visits to Hisagi, feeling that reiatsu, he was a demon. Aizen was alive within him, and it started a spark in the Soul Society. Half of them lived in fear that Aizen would take over Hisagi's body and with that power, he would become more powerful than even Ukitake Juushirou himself. The other half knew that Hisagi was too strong that something of that caliber would never happen no matter what. Still Ukitake knew that everyone had a right to be concerned.

Kira was not one of those captains. He didn't even think of the resurrection of Aizen's power. He was more concerned with Hinamori's infatuation with the 9th Division captain. Day in and day out all he would do was watch as she went to see him in the 4th Division, fearing that she wasn't going to come back to him. It had driven him crazy to the point where all he did was work, forging his 3rd Division into something that he found was far stronger than that of the 9th Division.

"Hisagi-kun is lucky to be breathing. He should have died that day," Ukitake sighed. "Not even Unohana-taichou's zanpakutou could save his life."

"He was…" Kira breathed. "And I thank the heavens that he is. I would be lost without him, as would Hinamori…"

"What are you implying?" Ukitake asked as he looked at the 3rd Division captain.

Kira closed his eyes. "I don't know," he took a deep breath. "I guess I'm tired. I should get back to the division…"

As Kira walked away, Ukitake knew what Kira was thinking. He was thinking that Hinamori was no longer happy with him. Ukitake could tell as he watched her, there was nothing in her eyes as she looked at Kira. He knew that the relationship that she and he had for the past months was nothing. And then he knew… the enemy was no longer Aizen. In these months that they were trying to rebuild peace, the only enemies that they had to watch out for were each other.

He closed his eyes as he thought about all that had been occurring, the Soul Society was in for more than he perceived that it was. He closed his eyes deeper as he remembered the look on those two men's faces as they walked into the distance. They were going to get out of this.

"When will he come back, Ichimaru?" Ukitake asked as he ran a hand through his ivory ponytail, thinking back to that moment, thinking of Hisagi as he went deeper into his thoughts. He closed his eyes as he tried to get back to the paperwork that was left behind; he was not to fall astray.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji woke up, looking around his living quarters. It had become so different since he gained captain status. He no longer had to rush to where his captain was and be as prompt as possible. He had the freedom to so as he wished for so long. He closed his eyes as he took in the glory. He was a captain.

He looked next to him and saw Rukia slumbering on his shoulder. The last few months were like heaven. Together they had made the 13th Division a force to be reckoned with, thanks to his determination and her experience in the division. The 13th Division soon became a force to be reckoned with as they had more military drive than they did when they were underneath Ukitake.

He rose from bed, yawning slightly as he ran a hand through her hair. They had become more passionate than they should have in the short time that they had together. Every night when they had the chance, they would make love. The feeling of Rukia's body close to his, the sound of her voice as he moved deeper within her, it made him realize that all of this was worth something.

"Rukia," he breathed as he looked down at her.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, her gaze empty as it had been for the past few weeks. Rukia had grown ill since her promotion, nerves taking its toll everyday that passed. She would become aggressive, she would become nauseous. But through all of her pain she refused to see the 4th Division.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

She nodded as she got out of bed. "Yeah," she started to gather her clothes, not looking at him, her breathing hard as he ran a hand through her black hair. "It feels like today may be a better day."

"Glad to hear it," Renji breathed as he looked into her eyes. "Why haven't you seen a doctor yet?"

"Not that serious," she breathed as she looked into his eyes. "I don't want you to worry about this; you have the whole division to deal with."

"I think I have a right to know what keeps my fiancée and lieutenant up at night," he breathed as he watched her get dressed.

Every time that they tried to discuss it, she would always yell at him and then leave the room. There were even some nights where she would deny love from him so that she could rest. It was driving him insane to watch her suffer and not be able to do anything to help her. The last week had been the worst up until last night when they were able to make love again, but the other nights were horrible. He would hold her as she cried, the pain in her abdomen driving her deeper into the pit of pain.

"Rukia, what's going on?" he asked again.

"I'll see what it is after we get the division in complete order. You and I both know that we cannot be bothered with this," she grabbed her zanpakutou. "I have to go help organize the squads. I'll be back in the office momentarily."

As she walked through the door, he could feel all of the pain that she was in. He couldn't help but think that it was his fault. Yet at the same time, he knew what had caused it. The Aizen scare. Everyone who heard the Hisagi had the heart of the Devil within him started to become antsy as they looked at him. She was no doubt a victim. He closed his eyes and fell back on the bed hoping that was the case.

"I guess we'll see later," he breathed as he turned to his side to fall back asleep.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Are you feeling better?" Iba asked as he looked at the 9th Division captain.

Hisagi glanced at the lieutenant as he went through the paperwork that he was going through. "Never better."

He thought back to the meetings that had been occurring, knowing that he was the start of the hubbub that was going through the Soul Society like a drug. He closed his eyes as he felt his own heartbeat in his chest, realizing that day was the day that had changed the way that everything had ever functioned in the Soul Society. Everyday, Iba would come to him and let him in on who was an enemy and who was an ally, to the point where he knew just how insecure everyone in the Soul Society was.

"Seen Hinamori lately?" Iba asked.

Hisagi sighed. "Why?"

"I know how you feel about her," Iba breathed. "I hear you when you sleep in here, all you say is her name. You're thinking about that kiss between her and Kira again."

The captain closed his eyes as he remembered that day; he let her go that moment. He thought that he was doing them a favor. In the end it lead him to do exactly what he had promised he wouldn't. He gave everything up for her, if he was unable to live with her; he wasn't going to live at all. He had fallen for her, and he still cared. It broke his heart every time that he remembered that day between them. He closed his eyes as remembered what he had said to her. He was going to wait, and it wasn't the time. He looked down at the paperwork and engrossed himself in his as he tried to block out Iba's presence.

Hisagi then looked up from his paperwork as he heard footsteps come to the doorway. His heart raced as he felt the reiatsu, knowing that Hinamori had come to see him once again. She was teasing him for the past weeks, tempting him with her greatest weapon, the fact that she knew that he had fallen in love with her. He kept trying to tell himself that she and Kira were going to be happy. But now as he felt her he knew otherwise, he knew he still was in love with her.

"I had some free time," she breathed as she walked through the door. "So I wanted to see you."

He put down the paperwork. "What does Kira think of this?" he asked, his voice cold.

Hinamori didn't have a thought of retaliation in her mind. "He was too busy to notice…"

Looking into her eyes, Hisagi knew that this was more serious that he ever thought it would be. "Iba-san, will you leave us?" he asked, not looking at the lieutenant.

Iba nodded. "Alright," he stood up. "I'll talk to you later about all of this."

As Iba left, Hinamori walked to the side of Hisagi's bed, her eyes looknig directly into his melting him into nothingness every second that passed. "Are you better today?"

He closed his eyes and took a breath as he smiled at her as she came closer to him, her reiatsu intoxicating her. "I've been on so many drugs lately, I don't really feel pain anymore," he took a deep breath as he fought the urge to kiss her as he sat on his bed. "It's good to see you back."

"I was worried about you; I worry about you everyday that goes by, fearing the day when you're going to reject the heart," she watched as he took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling stiffly, his eyes closing tightly, he body moving closer, speaking to him in a whisper. "I still feel that you made the wrong choice. You know that I love you more than anything and still you choose to live without. Why?"

"Drop it!" he said quickly, opening his eyes, not wanting to hear her beg, he loved her more than anything, and she knew that. "You can't think to the past. You can only stay situated on the future. That future is with Kira."

"This is insane!" she yelled, a single tear starting to form in her eye as she looked at him, not wanting to hear the words that he was saying. "Why are you denying yourself what you want?"

Hisagi then took a deep breath, trying to wipe her tears away with his words. "All he wants is for her to be happy, and that means you must stay with Kira, so be it."

"I wants to be with you," she then kissed his lips passionately, holding his body close to hers as he closed his eyes, his body shuddering as she deepened the kiss, her tongue passing his lips. Tears rolled down his face as his hand moved to the side of her face, caressing it slowly, relishing in the moment that he had with her. For this moment, she was his.

"I would go with you if I could," he breathed as he backed away from her lips, coming back to his senses. "But you have a promise to Kira. I can't."

Hinamori then closed her eyes, her voice soft and cold as she backed away from his body in silence, still trembling, walking out of the room, her heart breaking as he continued to go through his paperwork. "We'll see about that."

0o0o0o0o0o0

"I can't help but feel that there's something wrong with Rukia," Renji breathed as he walked forward. "Do you ever get the feeling that this Aizen scare may be more severe than we thought?"

"What makes you think that?" Kira asked as he looked at Renji, the two of them walking down the street side by side.

It was odd to see Kira out and about from the office since he was appointed to the position of captain, the only time anyone saw him was when he was walking down the street from Ukitake to the 3rd Division. To see him and Renji together was something that was unheard of, all of the people walking down the street staring as they looked at the two captains. Something was wrong.

"I think it's getting to Rukia," the 13th Division captain breathed as he looked at his friend. "I think that she's grown ill from it."

"I think that she'll feel between once we all get lieutenants, Kira answered. And for once in his captaincy, he felt as though he would be able to breathe easy with that thought.

They continued to walk down the street as they realized that the war had only begun. A dawn of a new evil was about to begin.

* * *

I'm not too happy with the way that it turned out, so I may edit it tomorrow. This is the new story, there is no real villian in this as much as it is an inner struggle to those who are already in the Soul Society. I hope that you all enjoy this installment. New fans are welcome.

I recommend reading _Falling Petals_ first.


	2. Chapter 2

**Pairings:** This chapter contains slight Hisagi x Hinamori, slight Kira x Hinamori, slight Ikkaku/Yumichika, and Renji x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, language, talk of violence, blood, and minor sexual material  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach Tite Kubo does.

* * *

The 11th Division was silent as they walked through the entranceway. All they could think about was their depressing fight up against Tousen when they had come back to the Soul Society. Ayasegawa Yumichika and Madarame Ikkaku were the talk of the whole division, being labeled as "weak" and "useless". The fear that they would one day be taken out of the 11th Division haunted them everyday, driving them mad.

They walked into the office fearing what their captain was going to say. They couldn't stop thinking about their termination. Zaraki, for the longest time, gave them stares, as did everyone else in the division. They knew that it was coming; they could tell from the second that they were summoned that they would be terminated.

They entered the office, looking at their captain sitting on the floor in the corner. Every step went through them like a shockwave, going through their bodies like knives. Their captain didn't take failure. Their captain didn't take weaklings. Their captain didn't tolerate people who fell in the most important battle of their lives. Their captain didn't accept them.

"Come closer," Zaraki announced as he looked up at the officers.

This wasn't the usual tone that he talked to them in. All of the respect had vanished. As Ikkaku and Yumichika moved closer to their captain, they could feel that this was different than any encounter they had ever had with this man. The stare was empty, full of hate, hate that the 11th Division only showed to those who were weak. It sent shivers down their spine. It shook them to no end.

There was talk that the 11th Division had started to hate both Ikkaku and Yumichika for what happened when Aizen returned. No one looked at the 3rd and 5th seats the same, thinking them to be cowards. The time had come faster than they had hoped; the rain starting before the clouds even became black. As they stood before him, Captain Zaraki Kenpachi looked at them with a look filled to the brim with disdain.

"You think I've forgotten about that day?" the captain asked.

Yumichika looked away from the captain as Ikkaku answered quietly. "No, we haven't."

"Then you know why you're here?" the captain asked, his voice filled with acid. "I don't need to explain to you what you've done…"

"With all due respect, sir," Yumichika tried to explain. "We were ambushed…"

"I don't give a damn if you were sliced in half! I don't ever want to see my 11th Division like this again!" the captain yelled. "There's only one thing to do: get rid of one of you…"

Both of the officers froze as they heard those words, one of them was going to leave. They looked at each other, were they going to have to pick the one that goes away? They moved closer to one another, so close that they could practically feel the fear radiating off of them. This was it; the 11th Division was everything that they asked for and more. This was the future that they always wanted together; this was the future that they had dreamed of. Now it was all gone…

"How will you decide?" Yumichika asked.

"I already have," Zaraki answered.

"Already have?" Yumichika asked. "How did you come to that conclusion…"

"The division had a vote…"

Yumichika's heart stopped as he heard those words. "A v-vote? You mean they got to pick who stays and who goes? What about Ukitake-soutaichou…?"

"Ukitake said that I can do as I wish as long as no lives are taken, a very difficult task for me. But then I realize that I will give the one who leaves the worst punishment of all… you will live forever…" Zaraki looked at Ikkaku. "Ikkaku… you get to stay."

Yumichika froze as he heard those words, looking over at Ikkaku; there was a smile of relief on his face. At that moment, Yumichika knew that nothing mattered between them anymore, neither of them were the men that they were before, Ikkaku had become just like the division who had betrayed him, the division who had taken part in this cowardly game. He walked away from the man that he had once referred to as his other half, not recognizing him as he backed into a world that he did not know.

"That means I want you out, Yumichika," Zaraki continued. "Or I will have you arrested by the 2nd Division…"

Yumichika started to walk away, looking at Ikkaku one last time, seeing the man come to his senses too late. He submerged himself in betrayal, not wanting to see how anything else could be a truth. All that he knew was leaving him in an instant as he walked toward the door. It was over. The dream had ended. He no longer knew where to go. He no longer knew who he was.

"Yumichika!" he heard a voice yell as he sank into the darkness. "Yumichika!"

He turned to see that Ikkaku had followed him out of the division into the outside world, the light from the sun fading as dark clouds started to fill the sky. They gazed into each others eyes, Yumichika no longer knowing the man who was standing before him, his heart breaking as he was being teased with the Ikkaku that he knew.

"Yumichika…" he breathed.

Yumichika closed his eyes and shook his head. "Go away, Madarame…" Ikkaku gasped at the way that his friend said his name. "Don't come any closer… I'm worthless. You should be happy that they picked you."

As Yumichika turned away, Ikkaku yelled to him. "This was a coward's game! They didn't think of honor or dignity at all. They didn't think of what separates us from Ukitake-soutaichou himself. We have the will of the warrior; _you_ have the will of a warrior."

"I don't!" Yumichika answered, his voice cold. "I never did…"

"What are you saying?" Ikkaku was confused by his friend's words.

"There's something about me… something I didn't want to tell you, but now that there's nothing left, I don't see why not," he took a deep breath as he closed his eyes, a single tear forming in his eye. "I have a kidou type zanpakutou. It doesn't have a direct offensive attack. I was worthless from day one…"

Ikkaku took a step forward. "Yumi…"

"Let me go! Please… I'm worthless to you and this division. Let me go…" he started to whimper as the first drop of rain fell. "Please, don't even spare a glance at me. Just keep walking…"

Ikkaku took a step forward as more rain started to fall. "It won't be the same…"

"You'll manage…" Yumichika answered as he moved away from the 11th Division 3rd seat, trying to forget everything that they had together. Nothing mattered anymore. There was nothing that would ever make this pain that he was feeling go away. It was all over.

He walked deeper into the rainy distance, closing his eyes tightly. The dream had ended and the nightmare was only beginning.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"So you don't remember what happened that day?" Ukitake asked as he looked at Kuchiki Byakuya. "You don't remember what he did to you?"

It had been hard getting information out of those who had been attacked; Kyouraku still didn't want to talk about what happened to him on that day. All they had were pictures and Ichimaru and Tousen's testimonies before they left. Yet all was lost if they couldn't get a testimony from Aizen. The words rape radiated through everyone's head as they looked at the case file, Hisagi and Renji finalizing that it was the most likely suspect. Aizen had hinted at it, but nothing was carved in stone.

"You don't wish to speak about it?" Ukitake asked.

"Would you?" Kuchiki answered.

Ukitake took a deep breath. "I don't know why he targeted you… I don't know what he was trying to do that day. He should have gone after me…" Ukitake breathed. "I don't know if it was to turn Abarai-kun against us or if it was to bring Rukia to the Seireitei again, but whatever it was, you should speak about it."

"I don't know what happened that day," Kuchiki breathed as he looked at the soutaichou.

"You haven't been yourself since that day. I think that trauma finally got to you. I just want to know what he did to you…" Ukitake breathed.

Kuchiki sighed as he looked at the higher ranking shinigami. "I think it would be better if you didn't know. I don't want to ruin your outlook on the peaceful world that you have made for yourself. Looking on the past that tried to tear us apart will do nothing for your motives."

He started to walk toward the door. It had been months, but he could still feel Aizen having power over him. He closed his mind from that day, trying his hardest to make it so the day never existed. Everything that had happened to him was to stay in the past, a past that he soon wanted to forget.

As he walked into the rain he saw a man walking toward the gate. "Where do you think you're going?"

The man turned to him, revealing himself as the former 5th Seat of the 11th Division. "I just got eliminated from my division. I have to leave at once."

Kuchiki walked toward him, looking to his left and his right as he walked toward the former officer. "Zaraki let you go? That's absurd!"

"He did…" Yumichika breathed as he took a step forward. "Now I must go."

The 6th Division captain looked at the former 11th Division shinigami thinking back to Renji. Renji was the best lieutenant someone could ask for, he was loyal, dedicated, everything that everyone had always dreamed of in a lieutenant. He was now the captain of the 13th Division. Looking at Ayasegawa Yumichika made him remember what he had lost; it made him long for the same dedication. Renji was once part of the 11th Division, they made the perfect lieutenants.

"Wait," Kuchiki cried out. "I want you to come with me…"

Yumichika raised an eyebrow as he looked at the captain, he was different than those cowards, he felt like he could trust them. He took a step forward. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to come into the 1st Division with me," Kuchiki answered. "There's a request I would like to make…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

"So they just kicked him out?" Renji asked as he looked at Ikkaku. "Just like that?"

"Yeah," Ikkaku breathed as he looked at the captain take a long sip of sake. "I don't know what to do. It's not going to be the same."

Renji hissed as he put the bottle down. "Cowards, every last one of them is a coward. Back when I was in the 11th Division, no one would do that to a person," he looked down at the bottle. "I don't know what's going on anymore."

"You've probably changed your view since you've been to four different divisions in your life," the 3rd seat sighed. "And now you're a captain, Abarai. You've come a long way."

Renji closed his eyes as he heard those words; he had come a long way. He remembered when he was in the 5th Division, he was so young, he was so new to the world of being a shinigami, it was like heaven to him for the start of his career. Looking back on it, he knew that it was all a lie, Aizen never cared about any of them, not even for a moment. He then moved to the 11th Division where he learned the will of honor and duty, a new ounce of heaven that he never thought that he would ever feel. He now looked back on it and saw that he never fit in with them, they were all cowards. The 6th Division was a rocky start, he never thought that he was going to live a life of a lieutenant, and although it was short lived, he thought that it gave him a slight ounce of bliss. He then changed where he was. He was a captain now, his own division bending at his every whim. He was with Rukia and he thought everything was well, but he wasn't sure.

"What's wrong?" Ikkaku asked. "Something on your mind?"

"Rukia," Renji breathed. "She's been acting weird, distant. She's become ill and I don't know what to do with her anymore. I'm worried that there could be complications in our relationship."

"She doesn't talk to you?" Ikkaku asked.

"She doesn't talk to anyone," Renji answered as he took the bottle. "I'm her fiancée and she doesn't tell me anything."

"Could be worse, you could be like Kira and Hinamori."

Kira and Hinamori, they were dying fast. Kira had always thought that there was infidelity, but now as he looked at her he knew that there was something going on behind closed doors. Infidelity was in the air as he looked at the 5th Division captain. Everyone knew of her relationship with Hisagi, how it was a dangerous path to choose. It was all fading before them. The relationship that Kira had always dreamed for was nothing. Renji thought about the love that Kira had hoped for and how it all went away in an instant. He never wanted that to happen to him.

"I never want to be like that…" Renji breathed.

"You never know," the 11th Division member stated as he looked Renji in the eye. "One moment you have everything that you ever wanted with someone and it seems like it's going to last forever and then in an instant it can all be taken from you. I know that better than anyone else does."

"You can look for him tomorrow," Renji breathed. "I'll help you find him, as a captain I have more power than you think I do…"

"I don't know if he'll even be here tomorrow… Zaraki-taichou gave him specific orders to get out of the Soul Society unless he can find another squad who wants to take him… that's very unlikely…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

"What do you mean you want him as your lieutenant?" Ukitake asked as he looked at Kuchiki Byakuya.

"Exactly what it sounds like, I want Ayasegawa Yumichika to be moved from the 11th Division into the 6th as soon as possible," the 6th Division captain looked back at the former 11th Division member. "I want him as my lieutenant."

Ukitake couldn't understand what had happened to Kuchiki Byakuya. He never thought that he was going to ask for another lieutenant after he allowed Renji to be promoted from the 6th Division to the 13th Division captain. Now he was before him, with another man, asking for him to become his captain. The new captain commander sighed as he looked at Yumichika.

"What happened, Ayasegawa-kun?" Ukitake asked.

Yumichika didn't have to hide anything; he could be blunt to Ukitake. "Zaraki-taichou evicted me from the 11th Division…"

"He was serious about that?" Ukitake asked as he shook his head. "I thought that was all just mindless prattle?"

Yumichika shook his head. "He was serious, and I was the one he eliminated. He wants me out of the Seireitei."

Ukitake took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. "Well that's not going to happen…" he looked at the shocked expression on the former officer's face. "I'm in charge of the Gotei 13 whether Zaraki Kenpachi likes it or not."

"Ukitake-soutaichou?" Yumichika asked as he looked at the captain commander.

"You want a lieutenant?" Ukitake asked Kuchiki. "You have one," he pulled out a piece of paperwork and signed it quickly, the shocked expression never leaving Yumichika's face as he watched the captain of the 1st Division. "I won't be undermined by the 11th Division, I will make the decisions."

This was a different Ukitake, one that the Soul Society thought that they would never see. He had transformed from a man who just wanted peace to a man who demanded respect. Everything that he did was in the memory of Yamamoto, his departed sensei. But unlike Yamamoto, Ukitake was fair, he was kind-hearted, he put himself in everyone's place and fully understood what the situation was. He was better than Yamamoto. He was stronger than Yamamoto. He was everything that Yamamoto wanted as he left him behind. Ukitake was the hope that he wanted to preserve.

"From this moment on, you are the lieutenant of the 6th Division," Ukitake smiled as he handed them the piece of documentation. "Congratulations."

"Thank you…" Yumichika smiled weakly.

"You have some big shoes to fill though," Ukitake smiled as he looked at the officer. "Abarai-kun was an amazing lieutenant."

Yumchika nodded as he walked after his new captain. _I will never look back on the 11__th__ Division again… I'm above them._

He didn't look back, he never would. All he would think of as he heard the words 11th Division was hate and scorn. They let him go, so he would do the same. He never wanted anything to do with them. He would rather die.

_Never again… _he walked out the door into the darkness toward the 6th Division. _Never…_

* * *

This chapter goes into more depth about the 11th Division and how they are reacting to all of this. It's all to get everyone a lieutenant. I'm also sorry for the wait, school has been pounding me in the rear. I'll get the next one up sooner.

Don't forget to take my poll asking which pairing you like better: Hisagi x Hinamori or Kira x Hinamori!

Happy Halloween!


	3. Chapter 3

**Pairings:** This chapter contains slight Hisagi x Hinamori, slight Kira x Hinamori, slight Ikkaku/Yumichika, and Renji x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, language and minor sexual material  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach Tite Kubo does.

_

* * *

Where could he have gone, why would he leave me alone like this? _Ikkaku walked down the streets, the clouds in the sky blocking out the sun. As he passed officers in the 11th Division, he could no longer look at them. They weren't comrades anymore, they were enemies. He knew that there was nothing left if Yumichika was no longer beside him. He knew that the world was slowly going to stop on its axis as he went through this life much longer while his friend was gone.

He watched as other shinigami passed him, looking at them with cold eyes. They all caused this, they all made Yumichika leave, he closed his eyes trying to block out that day. Who was there to trust anymore? His division, his whole society had betrayed him. He couldn't think of this world without Yumichika, everything was gone in that instant where he left. Only misery remained.

"I guess I should just give up…" he sighed as he walked by the 6th Division.

Just then he looked up to see a ghost standing in the doorway of the building, his heart stopping as he looked deeper into the eyes of the person that was standing before him. He had known that face, but he had not known the eyes that were looking at him. He took a step forward to see the man unfazed by him. Ikkaku never thought that he would find him here, in the 6th Division, a lieutenant crest on his arm. But at he looked into those eyes, he knew he had not. That was not Yumichika.

"Yumi…" Ikkaku breathed. "Is that you?"

Yumichika looked up at him as he took a step forward. "It's Ayasegawa-fukutaichou to you, _Madarame_," Ikkaku froze as that voice cut through him like a sword. "I will be referred to by no other name than that which I have just given you," he walked right past the 3rd seat, a chill going down his spine. "And the 11th Division is that way isn't it?" he pointed to his left.

"Yumichika…" Ikkaku gasped. "I'm been looking everywhere for you," he placed his hands on the lieutenant's shoulder's only to be pushed away.

"Don't touch me," Yumichika breathed. "That's an order."

Ikkaku closed his eyes as he shook his head. "What happened to you?"

He opened his eyes to look at Yumichika; he was no longer his beautiful self. Dark circles were under his lifeless grey eyes, his hair was tussled, his skin no longer having his sun rivaling glow. He was no longer Yumchika, he was Lieutenant Ayasegawa of the 6th Division. Ikkaku shook his head as he realized what had occurred, Zaraki had killed him.

"I don't know what you mean…" Yumichika breathed as he looked into Ikkaku's eyes. "Other than being run out of a division by my so called best friend, nothing happened to me," he shook his head. "I want nothing to do with you or your division. I have to forget about everything to keep my sanity. I can't look at you. I don't want to remember…"

Ikkaku stepped forward, grasping Yumichika's arm. "Yumichika…"

"Let go, or I'll scream."

"Yumichika," Ikkaku breathed as he looked into the lieutenant's burning eyes. "Please…"

"Let go of me…. 11th Division garbage!" Yumichika yelled. "Let go Madarame Ikkaku!"

Ikkaku did as the officer said, watching the fire in his eyes start to die down as he ran a hand through his messy dark hair. He closed his eyes as he thought about that hair, it was so soft, it was so beautifully enticing. He remembered when he used to touch that hair, feel that skin; they were nothing but memories now. His beauty was gone, but yet Ikkaku still thought he was beautiful. Ikkaku sighed as he looked deeper at the lieutenant, seeing those cold eyes looking at him again.

"What are you looking at?" Yumichika asked.

"Nothing…" Ikkaku breathed as he started to walk forward. "Nothing at all…"

He closed his eyes as he looked back one last time at the lieutenant. He was a lieutenant now, above what he was in the 11th Division. He took a deep breath as he walked past the 11th Division, this was no longer with them, he walked beyond the 12th as well, making his way to the 13th, walking to the door seeing the captain in the doorway.

"He's a lieutenant!" Ikkaku roared as he looked at the 13th Division captain. "Did you know about this?"

Renji looked at Ikkaku. "They don't inform the captains of lieutenant promotions," he took a step forward as he looked into Ikkaku's eyes. "What division? 3rd, 5th, or 9th?"

"6th!" Ikkaku answered, seeing Renji's eyes widen. "Yeah, _your_ old spot. Kuchiki has taken no time at all to replace you. You've been gone for only a few months and already he's got someone new."

Renji shook his head. "I didn't think Byakuya would be the first."

Ikkaku almost stopped breathing as he heard Renji refer to the captain by his informal name. "Did you just call him _Byakuya_?"

Renji looked up at Ikkaku. "Yeah, why not? I'm a captain too, and he is the brother of my fiancée. I think I have the right to call him Byakuya."

Ikkaku bowed his head. "It's just strange. You've become a captain, it seems like only yesterday I was training you how to fight in the 11th Division. You've grown so much, and yet I've stayed the same…"

"Ikkaku-san…" Renji sighed. "I still think you could kick my ass in a fight. I got this promotion because Byakuya thought it was the only way I could be worthy enough to marry his sister, not because of my skill. You're responsible for all that I've accomplished. I thank you for that."

As Ikkaku was about to open his mouth, Rukia appeared in the doorway. "Renji…" she breathed as she walked to her captain's side. "I have to go help some of the squads train; I'll be back by sundown."

"_Sundown_? That's a long time," Renji breathed as she looked into his eyes. "Are you sure that you're going to be alright, maybe I should go…"

"I'll be fine…"

"You're not feeling well…" Renji answered as he looked into his fiancée's eyes. "I think that maybe we should calm down just a little."

"Renji," Rukia looked into her captain's eyes. "I'm your lieutenant first… we can't let your emotions cloud your judgment toward me. I'll be fine."

As Rukia walked away, Ikkaku looked up at Renji, seeing stiffness within his eyes. "We've been fighting lately…"

Ikkaku nodded. "I can see that this transition isn't easy for you either. I lost Yumichika and you're losing Rukia. But at least you have a division that hasn't turned their back on you."

"Everything will be alright; I'll talk with Byakuya about this later on today. I have to speak with him about Rukia anyway," Renji smiled at Ikkaku as he knew the 3rd seat was going to leave.

Ikkaku saw through that smile, he knew that Renji was hurting deep inside of his heart. He knew that Kuchiki had betrayed him. Throughout all of this, Renji thought that he was near and dear to Kuchiki's heart, not just some pawn that he loved to play with. Ikkaku felt the same way when he looked at the 11th Division; they were already considering promoting a new 5th seated officer. Everything was changing.

He was haunted by eyes; Yumichika's eyes were a lifeless grey color, all of the beauty starting to drain from him. He was no longer the bright, blossoming Yumichika that Ikkaku had known for ages; he was the lieutenant of the 6th Division now. There was no comfort from this. He had known what happened to an 11th Division member when they transformed into a lieutenant, they would become Iba. He closed his eyes as he thought about how even Renji had it now, he was a captain, so much responsibility on his shoulders. Ikkaku saw everything that he had once held dear to himself start to crumple away and disappear like embers. He had nothing to lean on.

"Renji…" Ikkaku breathed, hearing the captain stir, his rust colored eyes looking forward. "Thank you…"

Renji closed his eyes as he nodded. "No problem…"

Ikkaku looked longer at the 13th Division captain; he was starting to lose his mind during his fights with Rukia. He was no longer Renji, he was becoming Kira.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"You're free to go now…" Isane smiled as she started to detach Hisagi from all of the wires which he was connected to, her eyes moving to meet those of the 9th Division captain. "You must be excited."

Hisagi was silent as he felt the wires leaving his body. He put a hand to his chest feeling the cursed heart beating in his chest. He closed his eyes as he tried to remember that day when Aizen walked through the door, killing all of their hope and future. Aizen, Ichimaru, and Tousen had done more damage to the Soul Society that anyone thought was possible. That night was the most desperate night that they had ever experienced, all of them banding together to destroy the ghost who had wanted to kill them, but they had failed. Aizen still lived.

Hisagi felt him, he felt him as if he had never died. His heart beat faster as he recalled the day, Aizen's presence coming back to his mind. He could feel his blood turn into ice, he could feel his whole soul blacken as he felt his chest, that pulse forming tears in his eyes. He was never going to forget that night, it lived on within him. Aizen wasn't dead; he was still with him at all times.

"You could say so…" he whimpered

Isane sighed at Hisagi's reaction. "I know that you're disgusted with yourself, but you have to understand that those emotions will go away."

"Will they?" Hisagi asked. "Will they ever go away, Isane? Will I ever have a day when he isn't with me? While this heart beats, he's still living. I can feel his presence; I can feel his body inside of mine…"

Isane bowed her head as she thought about it. "It'll be alright."

"No," he answered. "It won't. No one is going to treat me the same. I'm like Aizen to them… everyone feels that way."

"Hinamori doesn't…"

Hisagi sighed. "Hinamori's _different_…"

"Why? What is Hinamori to you?" Isane asked.

Hisagi closed his eyes as he remembered all of the moments he and the current 5th Division captain had shared. All of the kisses were still on his lips, all of her caresses were still upon his skin. The warmth that she admitted was always with him, she was his everything. Yet as he was in the 4th Division, he knew that she was out there with Kira living with his love for her. She could be happy out there in the world. She could be falling in love with Kira, a love that Kira had longed for and deserved. He let her go, but it was her memory that had kept him alive for all of these weeks.

"She's a dear friend…" Hisagi smiled.

"_Friend_?" Isane asked. "I have to disagree with you, Hisagi-taichou. The way that you look at each other, there is no way that she's only a friend…"

"Is it obvious?" Hisagi asked.

"Everyone can tell," she breathed. "And Iba-san told me…"

"Iba-san…" Hisagi smiled before he took a deep breath, thinking deeper about the 5th Division captain. "How is Hinamori?"

"She trains most of the day, sometimes she comes by here while you're sleeping and sits next to you for a while. There isn't a day she doesn't think about you, Hitsugaya-taichou doesn't know what's going on with her, and Kira-taichou is starting to suspect," Isane explained. "I think he knows about you…"

Hisagi closed his eyes before he heard a voice from the doorway. "Hisagi…"

Isane looked in the doorway. "Iba-san!"

At those words, Hisagi opened his eyes. "Iba-san! What are you doing here?"

Iba walked forward. "Komamura-taichou sent me to see how you were doing, he heard you were getting out today. We were concerned about you."

Hisagi took a deep breath as he looked at the 7th Division lieutenant. "I've been better."

"You still look pale," Iba states as he looked at the captain. "And you're so thin. You don't even look like yourself anymore…"

Hisagi closed his eyes, it was true, his skin had turned an almost ghoulish white, his once muscular frame losing some of its build. As he looked at himself, he didn't even think he was Hisagi Shuuhei anymore, all he saw was the scar that ran down his chest, feeling the beating heart behind it. He looked up at Iba, a weak smile rolling no his face.

"I've been sick for a while," Hisagi breathed. "I've been on so many drugs…"

"Drugs?" Iba asked. "Are you still going to be on drugs?"

Hisagi closed his eyes as he nodded. "This is going to absorb my life…"

"Well at least it takes your mind off of Hinamori," Iba responded.

Hisagi shook his head. "It doesn't… nothing will…" he looked at the shocked lieutenant. "Every second, every moment that passed me behind these walls; her face came to my mind. Iba-san, I can't do this anymore…"

He closed his eyes as he thought of that day, the day he let her go. He was never alright with that moment, and his hopelessness forced him to run into enemy lines, his uselessness forced him to destroy his life. But through it all, he could only think of her. He closed his eyes as he felt his body start to shake, tears forming, he couldn't take this game anymore.

"Hisagi-taichou…" Isane breathed, standing next to Hisagi's bed.

Hisagi looked at Iba. "I don't want to be without her anymore… I love her…" he took a deep breath. "I wanted so long to try to get her off my mind, but I can't, Iba-san. Every time she comes near me… I was an idiot for letting her even think about going off with Kira…"

Iba sighed, placing a hand on Hisagi's shoulder, the captain's eyes lighting up. "Hisagi-taichou…" he breathed as he looked into the 9th Division leader's eyes. "This is a dangerous time to want to pursue Hinamori-taichou further; she belongs to Kira-taichou."

Hisagi took a deep breath. "I don't care about the cost anymore. No matter what I do, Kira is going to get hurt. I should start looking out for myself now."

Iba smiled as he looked into Hisagi's eyes. "That's the Hisagi I know…"

At that moment, Hisagi knew that the burden that was hurled upon him, the curse that was cast was going to ease up. He placed a hand on his chest and closed his eyes; this was all going to get better. He would make sure of that.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia walked into the room, seeing Renji lying in bed sleeping soundly. She walked forward, sitting next to him on the bed. She ran her fingers along his jaw line as he slept. She closed her eyes as she heard him breathing, his lips slightly parted with every inhalation. He lay on his back, face up, his head turned gently to the left as his left arm rested next to his head, his hand curled in a fist. He looked relaxed.

She moved her fingers to dance through his bright red hair, her eyes fixated on the locks that were tied back into his ponytail. Rukia sighed as she moved closer to place a light kiss on his parted lips, hearing a soft coo pass his lips as he started to stir at her presence. His eyes opened to look at her, rust colored irises glowing gently in the starlight of the night sky.

"You're back," he breathed, a smile on his face.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"What took you so long?" he asked as he started to sit up. "You've been gone all day. It's past sundown."

She looked into his eyes. "We got sidetracked," she gazed deeper as she saw all of the frustration of the day. "What happened today? You seem tense."

He took a deep breath as he moved back into sleeping position. "I tried to talk to your brother today, but he wouldn't see me. That new lieutenant of his is ever the protective man."

Rukia raised an eyebrow. "New lieutenant?"

"Yeah, Ayasegawa Yumichika of the 11th Division," Renji breathed as he looked at his lieutenant. "I should be proud, but at the same time to know that I was replaced that easily, it… it…" he closed his eyes. "It makes me realize how insignificant I really was. He replaced me as easily as he threw me away… it makes you wonder if I ever really mattered to him, if he even respected me."

Rukia sighed. "A lot happens in this world that we don't necessarily like, but we get through it anyway. Don't think of yourself as replaced," he ran her hand along his shoulder as she moved closer to him. "Think of it as Ayasegawa finally having a place in this world where he is loved and appreciated, just like you are now. Renji…" she breathed as she held him closer. "I believe that this is all going to work out for the best. We are all going to get through this; I'll talk to nii-sama tomorrow we'll see what's going on."

Renji looked out the window into the deep darkness. "Whatever the 11th Division did to that man, it was enough to destroy him. Yumichika was never like that before… he's _changed_…"

"Everything's changed," Rukia answered.

"Even you…" Renji breathed.

"What do you mean?" Rukia asked as her captain turned to look at her.

"What do you mean what do I mean? Rukia, there's something about you, that's really odd," he breathed. "I think we should take you to the 4th Division tomorrow, you seem really off, I just don't want you to be ill."

Rukia stared at him in fear. He was right, she had been feeling differently. She felt hostile toward Renji, but at the same time she knew that she was never going to be without him. To make matters worse, he whole body was going against her. Illness had filled her to the brim. Her stomach ached sending pain throughout her whole body. Rukia had grown ill, but now it dawned on her, she knew what it was.

"I'll go check it out tomorrow…" Rukia promised. "I will…"

Renji closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. "I guess this is going to be harder than we thought, there's something else that has happened that I think will destroy our chances of happiness. Hisagi-san was released from the hospital today."

"How is Hinamori-taichou going to take this?"

"Hinamori is going to take this fine. My question is: how is _Kira _going to handle this?" Renji asked.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked into the office of the 9th Division carrying Kyouka Suigetsu in his hand. He looked deeply at the sword as he remembered Tousen's words to him, Hisagi was the only one who could use Kyouka Suigetsu now, he was the only set of hands that were going to be touching it. He placed the sword in the corner of the office, smiling as he sat next to it.

"Hi," he smiled as he looked at the sword. "I know what you're not used to me; you were still with Aizen when all of this was going on. But Aizen's gone," he closed his eyes. "He died. I have his heart in my chest; I know that doesn't mean anything to you. I don't even know how to use you. I don't even know if I can…"

He placed his hand around the hilt, pulling the blade out of the sheath as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. "Why won't you speak to me?"

_Shatter…_

He heard a noise from within him, his body freezing in place. "What was that?" he held the blade tighter. "What are you trying to say?"

_Shatter…_

He closed his eyes as he held the sword tighter. "_Shatter_?" he smiled as he held onto the sword. "Shatter…" he breathed, holding the sword in front of him. "_Kyouka_ _Suigetsu_…"

He smiled as he felt the power course through his body. Tousen was right; he was the only one who could use this. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. This was more power that his body was used to, but it felt so good. His heart raced as the power pulsed through him, his breathing starting to choke as it ran deeper. It was never like this with Kazeshini, this wasn't the way that he had ever experienced power before; this was stronger, rawer, and greater than he had ever felt. This was the power that Aizen had wielded. This was the power that they had feared.

He opened his eyes. "I will protect this, Tousen-sama," he breathed as he put a hand over his heart, his other grasping the hilt of Kyouka Suigetsu. "You have my word."

* * *

This chapter had more emphasis on the Ikkaku/Yumichika as well as Hisagi's decision. I am actually proud of this chapter and thought it turned out alright.

I'm sorry that this took me so long, I had it done and then the power went out for a week, but the enxt chapter will be sooner (I'm not just saying that), it will be up before Christmas.

The next chapter will have Kira and Hinamori in it so you can see thier relationship together on a deeper level.


	4. Chapter 4

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Kira x Hinamori, and Renji x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, slight language, and minor sexual material  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach Tite Kubo does.

* * *

"Ukitake-soutaichou," Kira announced as he walked through the door, Hinamori by his side. "We have a request to make…"

The general sat in his chair at the end of the room, his head rested on his left arm which lay upon one of the armrests. He looked up at them with his dark eyes, the two captains only looking at him at not at each other. Kira had a look of despair in his eyes as he glanced at Hinamori, while Hinamori looked away from the 3rd Division captain, radiating her unhappiness. The two of them had changed from the first night together, they were starting to fall apart, and Ukitake knew why. Kira and Hinamori were slowly falling out of whatever pathetic amount of love they were in, and Hisagi Shuuhei was to blame. Hinamori made it obvious; she didn't want to be with Kira, she wanted to be with Hisagi.

"What is your request?" Ukitake asked as he looked at the couple.

"There's a rumor that is circulating that Kuchiki-taichou has a new lieutenant. We were wondering if we too are allowed to have our own lieutenants," Kira announced as he looked at Hinamori. "The 5th and the 3rd Divisions are not as strong as the 9th so I feel that you should put Hisagi on hold."

Ukitake could hear some malice in Kira's voice as he heard him say Hisagi's name. As the 3rd Division captain looked at Hinamori, he could see Hisagi's hands all over her, those cursed lips up against hers ever so passionately, and it put him through Hell. Through Ukitake's vision, he saw his student start to regret everything that he had accomplished as he saw Hinamori slip further and further away from his grasp, Hisagi possessing her completely. This only made the soutaichou wonder what really was going on between Hinamori and Hisagi all those months ago while Kira was working so hard. He only saw passion, and although there was no depth to it Ukitake knew that Hinamori was gone.

"Lieutenants?" Ukitake asked. "All because of Kuchiki?"

"Yes," Kira explained. "This is where we start making a difference, start standing on our own feet. We're going to need this to stand on our feet."

Ukitake looked at the 5th Division captain. "What about you, Hinamori-taichou? What do you think?"

She sighed as she closed her eyes. "It would give me more time to train. A lieutenant could do so much for me."

The way that Kira was looking at her made Ukitake's heart break. Kira was still looking at the skin of his "lover" seeing the invisible trails of his best friends tongue up against her, seeing the damned spots on her neck that those lips had conquered. Hinamori was tainted to him, yet he still wanted to try, he still wanted her for his own, blocking out all that Hisagi had ever done. It was easier said than done, that was for sure.

"Okay," Ukitake stood up as he looked at the two captains. "Hisagi-taichou is on hold. I currently have two shinigami who are formidable but have been evicted from their division by their captain…"

At that moment, Kira wished that he hadn't said anything as he saw the two shinigami walk in. Hisagi was put on hold; he was going to have to wait longer whereas Kira, to smite him had asked for one right away. There he saw Kotetsu Kiyone and Kotsubaki Sentaro. This was the start of their careers with lieutenants.

"These are the two that have openings," Ukitake smiled as he presented them his former 3rd Seats. "They will serve you two until the end of the world, they won't let you down. And now that they are separated, they are going to be less trouble."

Kira sighed. "I get Sentaro, don't I?"

"Of course," Ukitake answered.

Kira sighed yet again as he walked up to his new lieutenant. "I guess that makes me your new captain…"

Sentaro nodded. "I guess it does. You're a lucky man, Kira-taichou; you got the better one of us."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kiyone asked as she looked at Sentaro.

"Exactly what it sounds like."

"You want to come over here and say that to my face?"

"Why would I?"

"Because you can't take that the 5th Division is better than the 3rd!"

"No way in hell."

Kira then turned to look at Hinamori only to see her walk into a corner. "Hinamori! What's wrong?"

"Why have you been looking at me like that?" Hinamori asked.

"My thoughts are difficult to get used to," Kira countered. "And think that he might have had sex with you…"

"That's none of your business!" Hinamori yelled as he she looked into Kira's eyes, hers starting to water. "All of this accusations, all of these hurtful words. If you don't trust me, say that you don't trust me!"

"Trust you? The man put his hands on you even though I said that I wanted you. He kissed you even when I said that I wanted to. He made you love him even when I said that I loved you," Kira argued. "I want to keep our friendship intact, but it's hard thinking of him next to you, that smile on your face when you were around him…"

"Izuru…" Hinamori whimpered. "You don't know what you're talking about. Are you saying that I'm a whore? Did you think that you're going to be the first one who I ever loved like that? You're not! There was someone else before you, before all od this Hisagi bullshit! If you can't handle that then get out of my face!"

"Hinamori…" Kira breathed as she walked out of the room, Kiyone running after her. "Damn it!"

"Losing her?" Ukitake asked.

"I don't know what's going on. I don't know why she won't tell me about what she and Hisagi did; I think that I have a right to know. And now this other guy… what the hell is she talking about?" Kira yelled.

Before Ukitake could answer, Kira ran out of the room, Sentaro in tow. The soutaichou sighed as he sat back down. "My, my…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori then walked into the 10th Division, running through the halls as tears rolled down her cheeks. She ran faster than she had ever ran before, all of the members of the division looking at her calling out her name, she heeded then not. As she was at the door to the office, her whole body froze. All of the words that Kira had said only tormented her more as she thought of Hisagi.

She had fallen in love with him, but he refused to swallow his pride and be with her. He feared what Kira would do to him. All of this time, she had never found someone who loved her as much as Hisagi did, she had never found someone who she thought was going to make her eternally happy until she met Hisagi. All of the years of him on the outside looking in yet it wasn't until a few months again that she had fallen in love with him. Moving closer to the door, she knew that she needed to talk to someone.

The door opened as she looked into the office. "Hitsugaya-kun…"

Hitsugaya looked at his friend, tears rolling down her cheeks, the captain's eyes filled with the most concern Hinamori had ever seen. "Hinamori? What happened?"

"Can you keep a secret?" the 5th Division captain asked.

Hitsugaya nodded. "Matsumoto…"

"Rangiku-san can stay…" she breathed as she looked at the pregnant lieutenant. "She can know this too…" she walked into the office, closing the door behind her. "I've been going out of my mind for so long. Kira's driving me insane."

The 10th Division captain moved away from the door closer to Hinamori. "What are you talking about?"

"I don't love him," Hinamori breathed.

"Does Kira know this?" Matsumoto asked.

"I don't care if he does," Hinamori breathed again, more tears forming in her eyes. "I don't know what to do anymore. The man that wants to be with me is smothering me and the man that I love… he's too afraid to swallow his pride."

"I don't think he wants to choke," Matsumoto answered. "Men are strange creatures, all they have is there pride and once that goes away, they have nothing left. This man that you love, he's afraid of what's going to happen to him if he does let that all go, he doesn't want to leave himself vulnerable."

Hinamori closed her eyes. "But we've already been through so much together…"

Hitsugaya finally asked the question. "Who is he?"

The 5th Division captain didn't shudder as she heard those words, the feelings of fear weren't in her body, there was nothing holding her back from saying his name to the 10th Division captain and lieutenant. "Hisagi Shuuhei…"

"I knew it!" Matsumoto smiled. "You love Shuuhei!"

"But he hasn't done anything about it…"

"How's he supposed to when Kira's practically put a hit on him already," Hitsugaya breathed. "All of those times you were together, Kira was asking Abarai about what was going on with you…"

"You knew?" Hinamori asked.

"I'm not stupid," Hitsugaya answered.

"Shuuhei made it obvious," Matsumoto breathed, a smile on her face. "I think that he loves you more than anything. He really was acting strangely the whole time you were imprisoned. Taichou knew that something was going on, no man acts that way about someone if he doesn't care."

"But does he care?" Hinamori asked.

"Yes," Hitsugaya answered right before the door opened everyone in the room freezing as they saw who walked in. "Hisagi!"

"Kyouraku wanted me to drop these off for you, Hitsugaya-taichou," he placed a large stack on paper on Histugaya's desk, his eyes never leaving Hinamori's. "I didn't think that I'd see you here…"

"Likewise," Hinamori breathed as she licked her lips. "Kyouraku sent you?"

"Yeah," Hisagi answered as he looked at Hinamori.

Hinamori then looked at Hisagi's feet, trying to stop herself from staring. "I like your shoes…" she stated as she pointed to Hisagi's white heeled boots.

She then looked back up at Hisagi; he looked so different in his captain's haori. Long sleeves covered his masculine frame. The sleek, streamline look of his body while he was a lieutenant was masked as he changed rank. But as she looked at the boots, she was reminded of Tousen, the same man who had left that scar on his chest. She couldn't take her eyes off of him, even though he tried so hard to get her attention off of him.

"I like you with your hair down," he smiled as he moved to run a hand through her hair, Matsumoto choking on a squeal. "We should catch up some time."

"Now's good!" Matsumoto yelled.

"_Now_?" Hitsugaya asked.

"_Now_!" Matsumoto repeated. "I think it's time for your walk, taichou!"

"I'm not going to leave them in my office…"

"Don't be a child," Matsumoto argued.

"You're going to have a child, two if Ichimaru was right," Hitsugaya answered as they walked through the door. "You're going to clean up any mess that they leave, Matsumoto!"

As the door closed Hinamori looked at Hisagi. "Shuuhei…" she sighed. "I…"

"I know I haven't been the best to you, keeping secrets, lying. I want you to know that I thought about it while I was in the hospital," he breathed as he moved to sit on the couch next to her, his fingers running through her hair. "I can't live without you…"

"What?" Hinamori asked.

"I can't live without you…" he repeated. "I wanted to, I wanted to make Kira happy because I've never been able to do that, but I don't want to anymore. Momo… I know it's too late, I know I…"

She didn't let him finish his sentence, before he could let out another word; she pressed her lips up against his, her hand pulling gently at dark hair as she pulled him closer to her. His arms wrapped tightly around her as he increased the passion of their kiss, his tongue moving to enter her mouth, a moan passing her lips as she grabbed at his hair tighter, a purr bubbling from him.

Their kiss was short lived as they heard a voice from the door. "I knew that they were going to do this…"

"Don't stop them!" Matsumoto begged. "You're no fun, taichou…"

Hisagi blushed slightly as he stood up. "I should be getting back; I'll see you later, Hinamori-taichou…"

Hinamori nodded as Hisagi left, Matsumoto moving to her side. "Won't swallow his pride, huh? I think he just gulped it down, after all he needed his mouth to eat your face off…"

"I don't know what came over me," Hinamori breathed. "It was like I forgot about Kira the second that I saw him again."

"You don't kiss Kira like that," Matsumoto breathed.

Hitsugaya scoffed. "I'm so glad that we came back. If I had gone off with you only God knows what they would have done in here…"

Hinamori blushed. "I don't think Hisagi would…"

"I don't know if you saw that kiss," Matsumoto smiled. "He _would_…"

Hinamori bowed her head as she straightened out her hair. "It's going to be so weird talking to Kira after this…" she stood up. "I don't know what I'm doing…"

She walked out the door, touching her lips gently. _I know what I'm doing for once in my life_.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Are you feeling alright?" Renji asked as Rukia walked back into the office. "That's the third time you've vomited today…"

"I'm fine," she breathed as she looked over at him.

"It's not contagious is it?" he smiled. "I don't want to be sick like you, looks like hell."

"Thank you for being sympathetic."

Renji sighed as he looked at her. "You should take the rest of the day off. I don't want you to get too sick. Rest would probably help you."

She shook her head as she looked at her fiancée. "Renji, this is nothing, it's just stress, once this is all over I'll be fine," she smiled. "But I appreciate that you are caring so much about me."

"Why wouldn't I?" he asked. "I'm your fiancé!"

Rukia closed her eyes as another pain went through her body, a small cry passing her lips. Renji's eyes lit up as he looked at her, his heart breaking as the pain came back. The two of them had been at war with each other for months as Rukia had become ill and detached. He didn't know what to do, there was so much that could have been occurring within the 13th Division that he was not aware of. He was buried in work as she chose to go out and train squads, even beyond the time when the rest of the squad came back. Suspicion rolled through his body like a poison, something wasn't right.

"Rukia," he breathed as he stood up walking toward her. "I want you to know that if any of this is my fault, I am deeply sorry. I know that I'm not the best captain… but I'm trying…"

"I know you are," she breathed.

"I'm trying to live up to the standards that your brother wants me to, but it's hard. It's so hard, but I'm doing this all because I love you so much," Renji answered, his rust colored eyes closing.

"I know you love me," Rukia breathed. "I love you too."

Renji sighed again. "I don't want you to get ill because I'm too weak to take care of this without you pulling my weight. I want to show you that I can do this as well. I want to pull my weight and you pull yours."

"This isn't because of you, Renji," she breathed. "You can stop apologizing."

Renji shook his head. "I want to know what this is…"

"And you will know, you have to stop pushing!"

"I'm not pushing!" Renji answered. "I'm concerned. I'm sorry that I care about you…"

Rukia shook her head. "You don't need to smother me like I'm a delicate flower. I'm fine on my own…"

"Why are you acting like this? Why are you lashing out at me?" Renji asked, already knowing the answer. "I'll stop…"

He closed his eyes as he thought of what was going on outside the 13th Divison, there were so many other men out there, Rukia had access to all of them since Renji was so busy. He start to feel sick to his stomach as he thought about what was going on, she had gotten sick due to the work, but she was easing some of the stress by spending time with another man. Renji closed his eyes as he felt tears start to form, his heart breaking as he knew what was happening to him.

He tasted the tang of vomit in this throat as he thought about what was occurring. All of the drama that he had heard from Kira and Ikkaku went deeper into his brain as he thought that the whole time he was in a nightmare as well. He no longer could look at Rukia and moved to look out the window, his heart stopping as his hands began to shake.

"So tomorrow… y-you're alright for that raining exercise right?" Renji asked as he choked on the words.

"I don't see why not…" she answered.

A tear rolled down Renji's cheek as he heard those words, his heart starting to break as he know understood that he was the least happy out of all of them. Rukia was no different than Hinamori; he felt Kira's pain as he looked at his fiancée. He almost sank to his knees as he thought of what was occurring, his world had been shattered.

"I have to go prepare for that…" Rukia breathed as she walked out of the room.

The second the door closed, Renji fell to his knees and let out a scream of anguish as he thought of what was occurring. This was only getting worse as he thought of everything that had slipped his mind. She had been avoiding him, not communicating with him, and he was only making her sick. He felt the warmth of vomit in his throat as he rested hi hand up against the window. His dream had turned into a nightmare. His happiness was broken.

There he lay for minute upon minute, cursing himself for everything that he had ever done. Tears fell from his eyes as he slowly lost grasp of what he deserved, getting only what he was dealt. Yet through the heartbreak he knew one truth was to remain, he had to remain the best captain that he could. He picked himself of the ground and heartlessly continued to do his work.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Come in!" Ukitake announced as he heard someone outside the door.

"Juushirou," Kyouraku smiled as he walked through the door to his friend's feet. "I'm glad that you summoned me today, what seems to be the problem?"

Ukitake stood up. "Hueco Mundo."

"The place where the hollows live? What about it?" Kyouraku asked.

"Aizen has a fortress there; we haven't done anything about it yet…" Ukitake explained. "I don't know what he has controlling that place, but we have to lower their numbers if only a little. We have to destroy that palace."

"So what do you propose we do?" Kyouraku asked.

Each one of Ukitake's words stung like a poison. "We start thinking about war."

"War?" the 8th Division captain gasped. "But you hate war!"

"I know," Ukitake breathed as he closed his eyes. "But there is very little choice that we have now. We have to start preparing for what is to come, not matter what we have to do. First I have to think of what captains I need to send."

"This will be your first war that you declared as soutaichou," Kyouraku pointed out.

"I know," Ukitake breathed. "But without it, we'll all be dead.

The two then started making plans and dates as they thought to protect the Soul Society, the smell of war was going through the air as they made their first step to stopping a potential comeback of Aizen.

* * *

This chapter went deeper into what the Hisagi and Hinamori relationship is going to, I'm sorry for everyone who liked Kira. And at the same time I needed to show what is going on in the world of Renji and Rukia. In the next chapter it will go deeper into what is really going on between those two.

The next chapter we will see more about what's wrong with Rukia and find out more informatino about Hinamori's choice.

Like what you read? Feel free to private message me a request!


	5. Chapter 5

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Kira x Hinamori, and Renji x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, strong language, and references to sexual material. There are also a lot errors that I will fix tomorrow or ASAP.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Renji watched as Rukia walked away, his eyes starting to water as the thoughts from the previous day were still in his mind. He turned from the window as he watched his fiancée walk away from the division, his heart starting to break as he looked at the path that she had walked. He didn't know where she was going, but his soul started to cry out as he thought of all the possibilities, every man that she had looked at, every man that she had talked to was a suspect. Renji looked around at a world of men, all of them making him sick as he thought of every single one of them pawing at her, all of their eyes looking upon her. He fell deeper against the wall as he fought the urge to vomit.

"Abarai!" a voice called through the door.

Renji heard the masculine voice through the door, his body starting to shake. "Who's there?"

"It's me, Iba," Iba announced.

Renji gritted his teeth: _Iba_. Iba was the last one that he would ever expect to be with her, and not in a way that he would ever think he would be with her. Iba was far too supportive of Renji and would rather die than think of touching the Kuchiki girl. Knowing that, Renji looked back up at the door, trying to find his voice.

"Come in," he breathed as the door opened, Iba walking through.

"Madarame's lost his mind," Iba started, Renji's attention going back to the window. "He's reduced to stalking Ayasegawa… you have to talk to him and tell him to stop all of this before it gets too out of hand!"

"Let it be," Renji answered softly. "There's no solution to it so just let it die…"

"Let it die?" Iba asked as he looked at the 13th Division captain. "You were supportive during Kira's fiasco…"

"And look how that ended, Kira thinks that Hinamori is cheating on him, romancing Hisagi-san behind his back," Renji continued as Iba knelt before him to look at him eye to eye. "I was wrong, no matter how hard he tries… no matter how he wishes… he will never get what he wants."

"This isn't about Kira," Iba was more observant that Renji had wanted. "This is about _you_, isn't it?"

"Shut up…" Renji scoffed.

"What is Rukia doing?" Iba asked. "What is she doing to you?"

Renji closed his eyes tightly. "Shut up…"

"Is she doing what Hinamori's doing to Kira? Is she falling in love with someone else?" Iba asked, ignoring the pain that was forming within Renji's soul. "You see what happened to Kira happening to you and you don't know how to handle it. Now you want to give up on everyone because you don't get your way…"

"You make it sound like I'm being selfish," Renji argued.

"Well that's really shitty, don't you think?" Iba asked, his voice raising. "No one has ever given up on you, have they? Every time you have a problem, no one turns their back on you, yet you do it to them…"

Renji closed his eyes, feeling the anger slowly start to boil in his blood. All that had happened to him, all that he had experienced in such a short amount of time and it only made his anger rise. He looked at Iba, not wanting to listen to his words. He didn't want to hear anything that he had to say. He was always going to be wrong.

"I was thrown away by a man; he replaced me only a few months after I was gone. Now Rukia's excluded me from her life as well. She's out there with only God knows who, doing only God knows what! It's driving me crazy just thinking about it. I worked so hard, I worked so damn hard and now that Goddamn clan is taking it away from me. Well fuck them!" Renji cried out, his voice full of anguish. "Fuck everything!"

"Are you sure?" Iba asked. "Are you sure she no longer loves you?"

"She doesn't look at me the same way, she doesn't talk to me the same way, she's been avoiding me," Renji closed his eyes. "I'm fucking sure…"

"Who do you think it is?" the lieutenant asked.

"Not Hisagi, I haven't heart his white heels clicking around here, and I doubt he'd be able to run very fast in those," Renji smiled.

"Running in heels in one of Hisagi's many talents," Iba answered, his smile matching Renji's. "Not to mention, he's been getting snuggly with a certain 5th Division captain. Rangiku-san has told me all of the details that are going on between those two."

"How do you do that?" Renji asked, a slight giggle in his voice. "How do you make all of my pain go away with just a single word?"

"Just my way with words, I do the same for Ikkaku and Hisagi," Iba answered.

"Now, about those details…"

"What about being all sad and bitchy?" Iba asked.

"I already told Kuchiki Byakuya to fuck himself, what else is there to do?" Renji asked. "I want to hear about Hisagi-san fucking the shit out of Hinamori…"

"Hisagi's not _fucking the shit_ out of _anyone_, they just kissed in the 10th Division office, that's all," Iba's smile easily transformed into a shit eating grin. "But the way that his hands were moving, we all know what Hisagi was thinking of doing."

"Well, looks like Hisagi-san is more perverted than we thought," Renji smiled as he thought about all of the drama that Hisagi and Kira have been through. "So when is he going to fuck her?"

"Soon, Rangiku says soon…" Iba breathed. "But I think Kira knows that Hisagi's hands have been on Hinamori recently, he won't let her out of his sight. He's hell-bent on her cheating on him."

"She has been…"

"I know, but following her around ain't exactly gonna stop her," Iba breathed. "It's only going to make this worse. Hisagi looks more appealing as the days go by…"

"And at the end of the day, the pretty boy always gets the prize…" Renji shook his head. "Damn this was predictable… I mean how could anyone have not seen this coming…?"

"A lot of people are going to be pissed…" Iba breathed.

"Well this makes me feel better," Renji smiled. "Now that Mr. Perfect in Heels is all over Hinamori, I don't have to worry about him touching Rukia…"

Renji smiled for the first time in hours as he sat back and talked about what was going on with Kira and Hinamori's failing relationship. But yet he knew he should say something to Kira, it didn't feel right being inside of him and it was only going to fester further into something that would completely shatter everything that he had worked so hard for. He knew what he would have to do, he was going to have to break Kira's heart or sit back and watch as it was completely destroyed. There was no happy ending.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Yumichika walked by the door to the office for the twenty-seventh time that day as he tried to make this all sink in. Nothing felt real ever since he was evicted from the 11th Division. As days went by it only got worse as he was forced to look at all of the old members in the face, look at Yachiru as he went to lieutenant meetings. He was living in hell.

Every pace, he would look into the office at his new captain. Kuchiki Byakuya was different from Zaraki Kenpachi, and he suddenly knew what hell Renji had been through. Every second that went by, there was another task to be done, another paper to deliver to a division. Some divisions were nicer when it came to an exchange; the 9th Division would sometimes even try to take some of the pressure off of him by delivering the remainder of the papers so that he could go back to the division and rest. But there was no rest, there was no fun, there was only work.

Yet he didn't mind anymore. The Yumichika that cared about his looks was dead; he died when the 11th Division eliminated him from their roster. His hair had grown longer; he no longer cared about how it looked. It was everywhere, fly-aways and frizzes plagued it to no end. But what really shocked the masses were the dark circles that were under his eyes. There was no time for sleep, even when Kuchiki would give him a break, he still found himself staying up all night wondering what Ikkaku was doing.

Ikkaku, although he was a traitorous snake, although there was hate toward him in Yumichika's heart, something inside of him missed the man that he had once called his best friend. He walked past the door again to get him off of his mind, that was until he caught his captain's attention.

"Yumichika…" Kuchiki called out.

"Yes, sir!" Yumichika answered, fearing the errand he would have to run.

"What seems to be the problem?"

Yumichika walked through the door to see his captain sitting at his desk looking at him with a concerned look on his face. Kuchiki never showed concern to anyone, but after what had happened to him, what Aizen did to him, he was a different man. He was more open to emotions and less closed off as he knew how painful it would be to go back to that day, to be that man again, to have to live a life that had been destroyed so badly.

"Nothing," Yumichika answered.

"It's difficult isn't it?" Kuchiki asked as he looked at the lieutenant. "Adjusting to this…"

"It is, but I'm thankful," Yumichika answered. "I don't know where I'd be if you weren't there to pick me up…"

"It was nothing," Kuchiki answered.

Kuchiki Byakuya liked digging through trash, that's what everyone had ever said, especially the Kuchiki Clan. He shunned everything that was extravagant, turning down many arraigned marriages to marry the "trash" that he had fallen in love with. He also shunned every proper lieutenant choice that he had, going only for the ones who were considered garbage, the filth of the whole Soul Society. Yumichika was thankful that Kuchiki had a fondness for digging through the garbage to find treasure.

But all tension was taken away as the door opened, a member of the 4th Division, Kotetsu Isane running through the door. "Kuchiki-taichou! Kuchiki-fukutaichou has been injured in an accident…"

Those words cut through the air as Yumichika looked at his captain, seeing a look of horror in his grey eyes. Yumichika never saw Kuchiki look like this before, nowhere in his previous travels had he ever seen someone so proper show so much emotion. Kuchiki couldn't move, he couldn't breathe, there wasn't a thought going through his head as he heard those words.

"What happened?" Yumichika asked.

"It was a training exercise; she suddenly fell in pain over and started to bleed. We don't know what's wrong with her yet, but Unohana-taichou is currently working as hard as can to find out…" Isane explained.

"Have you told Abarai-taichou?" Kuchiki asked.

"Not yet…" the lieutenant answered.

"Then why the hell are you still here? Go find Renji and tell him what happened to his fiancée!" Kuchiki's voice was filled with something that Yumichika never thought that he would hear from him. "He doesn't have a clue and you think that you can come on here before tell me before you tell him? Go to him now!"

Isane walked through the door, Yumichika looking at his captain. "Taichou…"

"Go to Renji…" Kuchiki breathed as he stood up. "Tell him that it's important. Tell him that his fiancée might be dead. Tell him to meet me at the 4th Division…"

Yumichika ran out of the division as he thought about what was occurring: this was serious.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji walked toward the 3rd Division, seeing Hinamori walk out of the doors. "Hinamori!" he yelled as he ran toward her, watching as he eyes lit up. "Where are you going?"

She looked at him as if he were accusing her of something. "What does it mean to you?" she asked as she kept walking. "I'm going to go train with Tobiume…"

Renji shook his head. "He's a good man; you should tell him the truth…"

Hinamori stopped as she heard him say those words. Her eyes were filled with fear and anger as he looked at the 13th Division captain. Her body trembled only slightly as she moved closer to Renji, trying to find words to say to him, but she could not. Renji knew everything; he knew what had happened between her and Hisagi Shuuhei, what they were doing behind Kira's back. It was transforming into a full out affair as she would lay in bed with Kira, but when he wasn't looking would "fool around" with Hisagi. Renji knew everything and he knew that it had to stop.

"What are you talking about?" Hinamori asked. "What truth? Oh, you mean the truth that I don't want to be with him anymore. I've tried, I've tried several times to tell him that this isn't going to work, but every single time he says that it will, we can make it work. I don't want something I have to make work; I want something that just works…"

"Like you and Hisagi-san…" Renji hissed.

"Shuuhei's different…" Hinamori answered.

Anger boiled inside of Renji. "_Shuuhei_? Did you just call him _Shuuhei_?" he reached out to grab her shoulders. "What the hell are you playing? Do you think this is a game? This is no game; this is a man's feelings…"

"I don't care about his feelings," Hinamori shook her head. "He ignored me when I needed him, too hell-bent on becoming a captain… Shuuhei was there for me, he was there when I felt like the world was going to end, he was the only one there. He taught me how to walk on my own feet again. Shuuhei was the only one who cared about his feelings, but he's swallowed that pride of his, he's done watching me suffer…"

"Suffer?" Renji asked. "Who's suffering here? Kira is in love with you!"

"He's in love with the thought of having someone, he doesn't care who," Hinamori breathed. "He wants someone to love him, he doesn't care who he has to level in order to get it. He's mad at Shuuhei because he's taking something from him, something that he wants more than anything."

"Whore…" Renji growled. "You're nothing but a whore!"

"You don't know what's going on here," Hinamori spat, as she pushed out of his grasp. "You don't know how happy I am now, you don't know how hard it was for me to get over the first man I ever…" she closed her eyes as tears starting to form. "I've made a mistake like this before, and if I make it again with Shuuhei, then so be it."

"You don't know what you're doing! You've tangled so many people in this web that you're spinning!" Renji argued.

"You make me sound like a bitch," Hinamori's eyes narrowed.

"What am I supposed to think?" Renji asked.

"You don't know what you're doing here. You don't know how miserable I am…" Hinamori whimpered. "You don't know how many times I've felt trapped, but I feel as though it's going to work, that I'm going to be happy. I lose myself after that and there's nothing else but my false happiness, no one can break me out of all that is going on within me. Shuuhei isn't like that… Shuuhei doesn't make me try for affection; he doesn't get me so wrapped up in him that I can't think. It feels right. It just feels natural around him."

Renji backed away from her as he absorbed her words. He knew of a time where she was like the girl that he had just described. He remembered her bring in a world that she had glue herself into. He remembered the lost lamb in the air-tight chamber. That was back when she was Lieutenant Hinamori under the control of…

"Aizen…" Renji breathed, his body starting to shudder as she looked at her. "You and Aizen…"

"What is going on here?" Kira asked as he walked out the door. "Abarai-kun what are you doing…"

Renji looked at Hinamori, her eyes begging him not to tell Kira about what they discussed. But as Renji looked at her, he realized one thing, Aizen was always going to be a part of her, Aizen was the one that she loved more than anything. Aizen was the first man that she had ever given herself to, and now she was afraid that she was going to do the same damn thing with Kira.

"I was just talking to Hinamori," Renji breathed. "I was just talking…"

Hinamori nodded. "Just talking…"

Kira looked at Hinamori. "Where are you going?"

"Doesn't matter, does it?"

"It does to me!" Kira answered back.

"Why don't you trust me?" Hinamori asked as she started to walk away. "It's not like I don't come back to you…"

"Yeah, you do, but you're gone for so long," Kira argued.

"I have a division to run; I am free to have as much freedom as you do. I'm allowed to go out and do whatever I want, whenever I want, you don't have any authority over me…" she hissed at him, his eyes narrowing in anger. "I'm going off to train…"

As Hinamori walked away from Kira, the 3rd Division captain closed his eyes and let out a groan of anguish. Renji looked at the two of them and feared what was going to happen to him down the line. Rukia and he had fought all of the time as Renji put her deeper into the trap that he called his love, and she desperately wanted to break free. He looked at the sorrow that was Kira's eyes as he realized that this was more complex than a trap. Hinamori was in pain. Hinamori was unhappy. Kira was just another Aizen. There was no hope for them.

"What the hell did she tell you?" Kira asked as he looked at Renji. "Anything about Hisagi-san?"

"No…" Renji answered as he closed his eyes.

"Have you heard anything?" Kira asked. "Anything about Hisagi-san and Hinamori-kun? Please, Abarai-kun, tell me…"

As Renji was about to open his mouth, he heard a voice call out to him. "Abarai!" it was Yumichika of the 6th Division.

Renji looked at the lieutenant, his heart stopping; this was the man who had replaced him, the man that was right under Kuchiki. But as he looked at Ayasegawa Yumichika he didn't see anything that reminded him of the one who he had fought alongside in the 11th Division, he looked completely lifeless, someone who was nothing but a husk of their former self.

"Ayasegawa-fukutaichou…" Renji looked up at the lieutenant. "What's wrong?"

The next words stopped Renji's heart dead in his chest. "Kuchiki Rukia… she's been injured in an accident…"

Those words echoed over and over in his ears as he thought about what had just occurred. Rukia, the one that he loved more than anything, was now injured. He closed his eyes tightly as he tried to understand what was occurring. She was never cheating on him. She never looked at another man. She was sick the whole time. He took a step forward a single droplet of water fell from his cheek.

"Abarai-kun!" Kira yelled. "What about Hinamori…?"

"Fuck Hinamori! My fiancée is hurt and all you can think about is getting information about Hinamori?" Renji shook his head. "Fuck you, Kira! Hinamori's right… there's nothing natural about your relationship."

"Abarai!" Kira called out as he watched Renji run away.

Renji didn't even look back as he kept on moving forward. Kira's voice was slowly fading out of his senses as he heard that Rukia was injured. He kept moving as his heart raced faster than he ever thought that it would, everything was on the line. Everything that he had ever said to her, everything that he had thought about her, everything he ad ever done to her all flashed through his mind as he ran faster toward the 4th Division. He just hoped he wasn't too late.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori walked past the 9th Division looking at the building as clouds started to build up in the sky. No matter how she tried, no matter what she did she was always going to have him on her mind. Everything stopped every time she walked by the 9th Division, she felt safe here. She looked deeper thinking about all of the moments she and the captain had shared with each other, the passion being the only thing that kept her alive as the days went by.

A smile rolled across her face as she heard a familiar clicking of heels coming toward her. "I can tell when you're coming…"

"I know…" Hisagi smiled as he walked up next to her, wrapping his arm around her. He looked deeper into her eyes, seeing a small trace of sorrow within her eyes. "What's wrong?"

Hinamori shook her head. "Kira…" she moved closer to him, feeling the warmth of his body circulate through her body. "He's so controlling. And Abarai-kun… he's onto something…"

"Onto something? You mean us?"

Hinamori's heart rose as she heard him say that. Everything that they had been through, he had never referred to him being with her. He never said that he was in love with her. Now at that moment when she looked at him, she saw something different, she saw someone who was labeling himself with her, someone who cared about her. She looked into his eyes as she heard those words and she could feel tears form in hers.

"You said us…" Hinamori smiled. "Like you're with me…"

"I think I am…" Hisagi breathed, a smile on his face. "I told you I've been thinking, I've been thinking about that day in the cell and all of the days after that and I realized the only thing that was keeping me from falling, the only thing that as keeping me alive was you…" he smiled as he looked into her eyes. "I look at you and I see something, something that I was so scared of for so long. You terrified me…"

She smiled as she moved to face him, his arms moving to wrap around her waist. "You terrified me… I hadn't felt like that about someone for a while…"

Hisagi smiled as he moved a hand to stroke her hair. "Hinamori…"

He moved to take her lips in a soft innocent kiss, Hinamori's heart racing as his arms tightened around her. All of the drama from Kira, all of the pain that she was going through while she was living in the trap was all gone as she lay in Hisagi's arms. This was everything that she wanted to be in her life. This was the last strand of happiness she would have in a while.

"I'm sorry about that," Hisagi breathed, backing away.

"You don't need to apologize anymore…" she purred as she placed a kiss on his neck, hearing his breathing accelerate for only a moment.

"Y-you and Kira… are you two over?" he asked as he swallowed hard, her lips still up against his neck.

"As far as I'm concerned," she breathed.

His body trembled as she kissed him deeper along his pulse point. "I would prefer it if you got rid of him…"

"I've tried…" she argued as she backed away from him. "Have you tried to talk to him lately…"

"Well try harder. You're miserable!" he breathed as he looked into her eyes, tears starting to form in hers. "I look at you with him and it hurts me. I know I let you go to him, but I thought you were going to be happy, I truly thought that. And it wasn't until recently when I got fed up."

She shook her head. "I don't know what to do… I don't know how to get away from him…"

"You go in there and you tell him it's not working out."

"He'll hate you…"

"I know," Hisagi breathed. "He'll hate me no matter what. I can take that hit, he'll forgive you…"

"I just could never get myself out of these situations…" she answered as she turned away from him. "He's just like Aizen…"

"Aizen?" Hisagi asked. "What about Aizen?"

"I'll tell you more inside," she breathed as she took his hand and moved toward the 9th Division door. It was time that she was able to shed some light on what really happened in her past. She had to lock the last gate.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia looked up at the captain and lieutenant of the 4th Division, both of them with worried looks on their faces as she finally came to. She looked around the room, the walls of the 4th Division haunting her as she felt her body ache with pain; this was never a place anyone wanted to be. When a shinigami thought of the 4th Division, they thought of death. She glanced around again as she realized what had happened, tears coming to her eyes.

"You're lucky…" Unohana started saying, trying to ignore the tears that were forming in Rukia's eyes. "You're going to be alright… but…"

Rukia looked up at her. "But what?"

Unohana shook her head as Isane looked away from the 13th Division lieutenant. The captain finally spoke. "You suffered a miscarriage…"

"Miscarriage?" Rukia asked. "I was…"

"Pregnant," Isane finished the sentence. "You were around three months pregnant, Rukia-san…"

The 13th Division lieutenant closed her eyes: pregnant. She thought back to it and it all made sense, the pains, the way that she felt, it all added up. She was going to be a mother, and Renji was going to be a father. She touched her stomach lightly as tears formed in her eyes; nothing that she did was right, Renji thought that she was isolating him when she should have been holding him close. She was still unable to let him into her life even now, a tear rolled down her eyes as she heard the door open.

"Rukia," a voice called out.

Rukia looked up. "Nii-sama? What are you doing here?"

"I heard about your accident," he answered, a dash of concern in his monotonous voice. "Are you alright…"

Rukia looked at Isane and Unohana; they weren't going to say anything. She knew that all of the information about her miscarriage. Rukia, although surprised, was glad that they were going to keep that secret. How could she face her fiancé after she had just lost what could have been his son? How could she face any man with that information? She closed her eyes tightly as she heard another person enter the room, her heart breaking as she looked at his face.

"Rukia," Renji called out as he ran to her side. "You had me worried so much…"

Rukia his the tears in her eyes as she looked away from him. "I'm sorry that I worried you…"

Renji then looked at Kuchiki. "What are _you _doing here, Byakuya?"

"Why such harsh feelings, Renji?" Kuchiki asked.

"No reason, how's that new lieutenant of yours working out?" Renji scoffed. "I see you got one pretty damn fast…"

"It wasn't easy for me to run a division by myself…" Kuchiki answered. "_You_ didn't make it easy. You were so involved, how was I supposed to put all of your involvement on top of my involvement, I'd go insane…"

"Welcome to my life," Renji rolled his eyes.

"Yumichika needed a place to go; I needed a lieutenant, so we are doing each other a favor…" Kuchiki continued with annoyance clear in his voice. "I have a lot of things on my mind right now…"

"And I don't? My fiancée was in a serious accident!" Renji scowled as he pointed at Rukia. "She was… what did happen to her?"

Unohana was the most skilled captains when it came to keeping the peace. "She was hit by a rogue kidou spell… she's going to be alright…"

"Kidou?" Renji asked as he looked at Rukia. "Are you alright?"

Rukia nodded as she watched Renji keep on talking, all of the words fazing out. She couldn't look at him, she couldn't listen to him, she wasn't worthy of any of that. As she looked at her fiancé she saw someone who deserved better, someone who deserved someone who would give him everything that he desired, someone who wasn't weak. She wasn't that girl that he was looking for. She was nothing.

* * *

This chapter delves deeper into the Hisagi x Hinamori relationship, something that we will see more of in the next chapter. The next chapter will also have more Rukia reflecting on her relationship with Renji after she loses their child. Get ready for a lot of sexual content throughout the rest of this story (there will be at least three lemons that I have planned.)

Like what you read? Feel free to private message me a request.


	6. Chapter 6

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Kira x Hinamori, Ikkaku/Yumichika, Renji x Rukia, and references to: Tousen/Hisagi, Hisagi x Matsumoto and Hisagi/Kira.  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, strong language, strong references to sexual material, and violence. Also: BEWARE OF ERRORS!  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

"You slept with Aizen?" Hisagi asked, shock filling his voice as she said those words.

He looked away form her and tried to take in everything that she had said to him, nothing made sense anymore. He thought back to that man and thought of seeing them together. Although some said it was obvious, he never connected the dots. He was like a father to her, the relationship between her and Aizen almost resembling the relationship between him and Tousen. This was a rude awakening.

"That's like me sleeping with Tousen-san…" Hisagi almost gagged, holding back as to not offend her.

"Did you?" she asked casually.

"No… No!" he shook his head. "Oh my God… _Aizen_?"

She nodded. "Aizen…"

"Aizen?" he shook his head. "I'm so glad you told me this before I slept with you…"

"Thanks for being mature about this," she scoffed.

"I'm sorry," he apologized as he watched as she stood up and start to walk to the door. "This is a lot for me to take in though. This man, he used you, manipulated you, and the only reason why you stood by him was because you thought you were in love with him? That's a lot to swallow…"

She turned around to look at him; there was no real disgust in his eyes, only confusion. Everything that she had said gave her a different reaction than she thought she would have, she thought that he'd turn away from her in disgust after hearing that, but still he sat there with that sympathetic look in his eyes. She knew that's why she loved him, no matter what she said, he never judged her, never held a grudge, he was always open with her. That in mind, she moved back to sit next to him again.

"Well I haven't heard of anyone you slept with… or are you a virgin?" Hinamori smiled.

"I'm not a virgin, that's for sure…" he answered with a nervous laugh.

"I knew you weren't. Abarai-kun said that you slept with Rangiku-san."

"Rangiku-san?" he asked with a laugh. "No… Rangiku-san in like a big sister to everyone, you don't sleep with your sister."

"Why didn't you sleep with Tousen?"

"You don't sleep with your father…"

"Kira?"

"You don't sleep with your best friend."

"Then who did you sleep with?" she asked. "I've eliminated half of the whole Soul Society…"

"You've only said three people…" he laughed. "That's not half, that's hardly a fraction…"

"Well do we have to sit here and no through every single person in the whole Soul Society?" she giggled as she watched his smile face. "You're just so mysterious; you were when I first met you too…"

"You remember that day?" he asked.

"I remember, everyone was talking about you. You were such a huge deal to all of the first years…" she smiled watching him gently bite his lip in embarrassment. "I thought you were special too… you were so…"

"Attractive?" he asked a small laugh coming from his lips. "It's okay, you can say it, I was attractive, everyone thought so. That was until…"

"The scars?" she asked, she didn't even need a moment to think about it, she knew what he was referring to. "I think they add character…"

"Yeah, _character_… if character means almost getting killed then I've got lots of character all over my body," he closed his eyes as the smile returned to his face. "If it weren't for you I'd probably be dead…"

She sighed as he took a deep breath. "I did think you were attractive… I still do."

"I still get that a lot," he chuckled as he looked away from her. "I hear how Rangiku-san talks about me, it's no wonder you all thought that we were together… but she's always been in love with Ichimaru, there's nothing that's going to tear those two apart."

"I've always envied Rangiku-san; she has someone who loves her so much. Even when I thought that he didn't, he still does. It's amazing how strong love is," Hinamori sighed as she closed her eyes. "It can even survive war…"

She felt a hand on her shoulder as Hisagi moved closer to her, her heart stopping in her chest. Everything that she had ever thought she wanted, everything that she ever thought that she needed she received when she got into that cell with Hisagi. And even when released she knew this was what she had always dreamed of. She had found a love that had finally matured into something unbreakable, a love that was going to stand up for her no matter what. She found someone who was a stronger person than Aizen. She found her Ichimaru Gin.

"I guess you'll just have to settle with me," he whispered as she felt her breathing become deeper and harsh. "I may not be what you asked for…"

"You are," she smiled as she moved to kiss his lips lightly. "You're so much more…"

She then moved in for another kiss, yet this kiss was different than the ones that they had shared before, it was the hungriest kiss that they had ever experienced. Moans bubbled from Hinamori's throat as Hisagi nibbled lightly on her lower lip, tears forming in her eyes as her hands moved to press on his shoulder blades, her fingernails digging deep into his haori. She never felt anything like this before, not even from Aizen. Aizen was different from what she thought, everything that they did was quick and detached, no emotion was ever added that didn't need to be. Every kiss with Kira was far too innocent and lifeless that there was nothing there either. Hisagi was different, it lit up her body in a blaze of emotion that she never thought she would experience or deserve. But as she felt his body so close to hers, she knew that she was wrong.

He fingers moved to pull the haori off of his body, his appearance looking like the lieutenant that she had fallen in love with. Her hands wrapped around his bare arms as more moans passed her lips, muffled by the pressure from his kisses. She closed her eyes tighter as her fingernails dug into his skin, hearing a slight wince from him. Yet her body was no longer listening to her as it had become stiff, only giving into the pleasure that it needed. Kira was as good as dead in her mind. Her fingers slipped to start to undo his keikogi, his lips leaving hers as he closed his eyes and shook his head.

He backed away from her, almost breathlessly. "I can't do this…"

"It's okay… I want you to…" she begged as she pulled him back.

"I can't," he panted.

"Kira?" she rolled her eyes at that name. "Is it because of Kira?"

"No," he shook his head as he tried to catch his breath. "It's not because of Kira, it's…"

"Aizen?" she asked as she tried to push him away only to have him not move an inch, her heart stopping as he shook his head again. "Than what is it?"

"The timing…" he finished as he backed away from her. "I mean I just got out of the hospital a week ago… don't you think it's a little too fast?"

She was surprised to hear it wasn't something that he would usually say; he said nothing about it being Kira. Timing? She never thought of something that was as mundane as timing. She looked into his eyes and saw the concern of what he was saying. He thought he was rushing her.

"What's the rush?" he asked.

"There is no rush I guess…" she breathed as she straightened her hair out. "I just… I really want you…"

He blushed at that. "I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult…"

"Compliment," she smiled as she looked at him. "Never take what I say as an insult, Hisagi Shuuhei."

He looked out the window and took a deep breath. "I haven't done this in a while…" he closed his eyes. "Not since I became a lieutenant. I got so caught up in the responsibilities and the work that everything else was thrown away."

"A man who loves work," Hinamori smiled. "I guess when Tousen went away you thought you were never going to have a life of your own again. And now that you're a captain…"

Hisagi looked as he watching her run her hands through her hair. "I never thought I would become a captain. And at the end of the last war… I thought I was a dead man for sure…"

Hinamori closed her eyes. "I thought you were too… I never thought I would have to depend on Aizen again after you broke me out of my trance. But he's the only thing that's keeping you alive right now."

Hisagi nodded. "It's not that bad, you get used to it. I mean Kurotsuchi and Zaraki hate me for it, but they hated me to begin with anyway…"

"I don't hate you…"

"You loved Aizen…"

"I love you more," she breathed as she placed her hand up against his arm, wrapping her fingers around it gently. "Nothing is going to stop that… I promise you…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia walked away from the 13th Division without saying a word to Renji, walking as fast as she possibly could to a place where she could finally get some insight as to what was going on with her. She walked back and forth until a voice called out to her, taking her attention off of the road.

"What are you doing out here, Kuchiki?" she turned to look straight at the man who was speaking to her, everything stopping as she realized who it was.

"Ukitake-soutaichou?" she asked as she turned to face him. "What are you doing out here?"

"Just checking up on how all of the divisions are doing," he knew her better than that; Rukia always had a way to know exactly what her captain was doing. "You probably have heard the rumors that a war is about to break out… that's what I'm doing, seeing who is the most suitable to lead the troops into Hueco Mundo…"

"War?" Rukia asked as she looked at her captain. "Will the 13th Division go?"

"They might, Renji-kun is a very skilled fighter and leader, I have been considering him for a while to lead troops if war was ever to break out. Of course you would stay here… after what happened to you and your unborn child I couldn't…"

"Wait!" Rukia interrupted. "How do you know about that?"

"I'm the soutaichou, everything comes to me," he answered with a slight smile. "I know the pain that you're going through…"

"No you don't," Rukia bowed her head. "I can't do anything right for Renji anymore… there's nothing here for him. I look at him and I see someone, he's an amazing man and I'm just a weak woman who can't do anything for him. He's wasting his time…"

Ukitake sighed. "Kuchiki…"

"I watched Matsumoto-san for a while today. She looked so happy, so full. She's a strong woman. She is strong enough for Ichimaru to have forever. I can't be like that… I can't be strong… I can't be anything…" she bowed her head as tears started to fall. "I'm nothing…"

A warm hand touched her shoulder, the tears stopping as it did so. Everything was starting to fade away as she remembered that touch. Her captain was always there before to clear some of the cobwebs that plagued her soul when everyone else had given up on her. She closed her eyes tighter as she could feel that smile on his face. She could no longer cry.

"You're something, Kuchiki…" Ukitake breathed. "You're always going to be something…"

She moved to embrace her captain, feeling his arms return the embrace, all of the emotions in her body flowing out of her at that moment, tears falling uncontrollably. She closed her eyes as her hands tightened on his haori, feeling one of his hands moving to stroke her dark hair, trying his hardest to console her. There was no hope. She was inconsolable.

The more she thought about it, the more that it hurt her. Renji was a good man, Renji was her everything. All of her life, Renji had been thinking that he was never going to be good enough from her, and after her rise to nobility he didn't even have the confidence to talk to her. He was always the one who thought that he had to change, even now he was always trying to be the best man that he could be for her. He didn't have to try. He was the best man that she'll ever know for her. She was the one who was weak.

She had closed his out of her life all of those months when she was unknowingly pregnant, and she wished that she hadn't been. To not have him close to her for all of those months when she was still worthy now brought tears to her eyes. Now she could never go back, there was no more hope for them as a pair. His touched burned at her worthless skin, her lips killing him softly with her poison. She was never going to be worthy to even look at him again. She was nothing more than a silly woman now.

"Have you talked to him about this?" Ukitake asked as he continued to stroke her hair.

"I can't…" she breathed as she closed her eyes. "How can I?"

"He needs to know about what you're going through, Kuchiki. Abarai-kun is your fiancé," his words moved her if only a little.

"He'll hate me…"

"The wound will only be worse if you wait," Ukitake continued as he held at her closely. "We can talk more about this at the 1st Division…"

She followed Ukitake to his division, trying to avoid the 13th Division at all costs. There was nothing there for her but a captain who had nothing more than a weak woman for a lieutenant and fiancée. He could do so much better than her, and this was her chance to see if that's what she wanted him to do.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji closed his eyes tightly as he sat in the corner on the floor of the 13th Division. He still couldn't understand what had happened to them. He tried his hardest to stop any sign of tears in his eyes as he thought about this. Abarai Renji didn't cry, he was too strong to do that. After all of the times he had given Kira a hard time for crying, he wasn't allowed to do it. As a single tear fell down his cheek he knew it was no use, his heartbreak was stronger than his pride.

"Renji…" a voice called out as the 13th Division captain looked up.

"Byakuya?" he asked. "What are you doing here?"

Kuchiki walked toward Renji, looking at him on the floor. "Look at you… what a mess you've become."

"Thanks," Renji answered, sarcasm thick in his voice. "You always did have a way of making me feel better…"

Kuchiki sighed as he moved to kneel on the floor next to Renji. Renji couldn't help but smile as the way that the Head of the Kuchiki Clan knelt on the floor, still trying his hardest to look pristine and proper. The silence filled the air, the only sound filling the atmosphere was the sighing of Kuchiki Byakuya.

"Do you do this all day?" the 6th Division captain asked.

"Lately," Renji breathed. "But usually with a little more booze…"

"_Booze_?" Kuchiki asked.

"Alcohol…"

"I know what _booze_ is…" Kuchiki answered, slightly annoyed. "You're going to marry a Kuchiki and you just sit on the floor all day and drink… _booze_?"

"No," Renji answered. "Because I don't think I'm marrying a Kuchiki anymore," he looked at the confused look on his former captain's face. "Your sister hasn't spoken to me since she got out of the 4th Division, what am I supposed to think?"

"Ignoring you?" Kuchiki asked.

Renji closed his eyes tightly as he remembered that Kuchiki as in the room first. His heart stopped as he realized that Rukia might have told her brother something that she didn't tell him. His attention turned to Kuchiki Byakuya.

"Do you know anything about what's going on?" he asked, hoping to get some answers. "Did she tell you anything?"

"I know nothing more than you do…" Kuchiki answered, closing his eyes. "But I'll see if I can find anything else out for you…"

Renji closed his eyes as he smiled. "Thank you…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ikkaku walked into the 6th Division again. Everyday that went by; there wasn't a day when he didn't think about his former best friend. The day when Zaraki let him go was sill fresh in Ikkaku's mind, nothing of the moment ever going to leave him. He needed to get close to him again; it was like an itch that he knew he would never be able to get rid of unless he scratched it.

As he walked through the 6th Division, he saw some of them members look at him strangely as he moved closer to the office. He ignored all of them as he kept on his path. He knew that Kuchiki was gone, seeing him on his way to the 13th Division earlier, everything was going his way. He pressed his hand up against the door, only to have it not open.

"Go away, Ikkaku!" Yumichika called out.

"You called me Ikkaku," Ikkaku smiled. "You don't know how happy that makes me…"

"Go away!" Yumichika repeated again.

"Just let me in…" Ikkaku begged as he leaned up against the door.

"No," Yumichika answered.

"Alright," Ikkaku sighed. "But I'm not going to leave until you do."

Yumichika's frustration was obvious in his voice. "Why don't you just go away, Ikkaku?"

"You know I can't do that," Ikkaku ran his hand along the door, knowing that Yumichika was right behind it. "I don't want you to go away…"

"Where was that when I got kicked out?"

"I was scared," Ikkaku bowed his head.

"Bullshit, Ikkaku. You don't get scared of _anything_. Nice try," Yumicihka scoffed. "I just wanted for one moment to see you stick up for me. I wanted you to show that you actually care for me. I wanted to see you finally make it obvious that I'm not just your wing-man."

"You're not my wing-man," Ikkaku explained as he lowered his voice. "You're so much more than that…"

Ikkaku closed his eyes as he heard Yumichika speak again, his heart melting every time the man talked to him. Just one word, one utterance was enough to remind him of what he had thrown away. He touched the door harder as he closed his eyes. He couldn't let this go, even now as his fingers touched the wood, he was holding onto it as tightly as he could.

"I don't want you in my life anymore…" Yumichika breathed. "I can't let myself go through that pain again. I can't play your game anymore. You go off and do whatever you want while I'm just supposed to support everything you do and forgive you when you do something that I never wanted you to do. I don't want to be a piece in your game…"

"Well it shocked me that you don't have a direct attack zanpakutou," Ikkaku breathed. "But it doesn't matter to me…"

"Yes it does…" Yumichika breathed, his voice starting to break. "You're disgusted with me…"

Ikkaku's heart broke as he heard his friend's voice break. "I don't think you're disgusting," he answered softly. "You're still the same Yumichika…"

"Aren't you supposed to hate other divisions? You are in the 11th Division after all…" Yumichika whimpered. "Aren't you supposed to leave me alone? Stop torturing me…?"

"Torturing you?" Ikkaku asked.

"It doesn't matter anymore… but once upon a time, I had feelings for you," Yumichika's voice breaking as tears starting to roll down his cheeks. "I wanted to be by your side forever… but that day… that moment… that _instant_ when you just stood there my heart was shattered. I was falling in love with you…"

Ikkaku's breath stopped as he heard those words. "What?"

"I was falling in love with you, Ikkaku…" Yumichika placed his weight against the door as Ikkaku heard the sound. "But I made a mistake…"

"Yumichika!" Ikkaku yelled as he knocked on the door.

"Don't ever talk to me again…" Yumichika whispered as he moved away from the door.

"Yumichika!" Ikkaku knocked fiercely on the door, his voice breaking with desperation. "Yumichika! Please open the door! Open the door!" he heard Yumichika crying on the other side of the door. "Yumichika! Yumichika!" his knocking slowed down as his energy started to deplete. "Y-Yumi… ch-chika…" he fell along the door. "Please…"

He knew that the door was never meant to be opened. He was meant to sit outside of the office for an eternity. But as he heard those tears within the office, he felt his own stone heart start to melt. Madarame Ikkaku never thought that he would ever feel like this: helpless, hopeless, and empty. As he looked at the door, it had all become obvious, all of the feelings in his body merging to form one thought- one statement.

"I love you too, Yumichika," he whispered as he heard the crying grow louder. "I love you too…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked by the 3rd Division, his heart starting to sink as he thought about what he had been doing to the captain of that said building. That man, that was a man that he had one called his best friend. They used to share everything with one another, there were no secrets, there were no doubts, but as Hinamori got into the equation, everything that they had together was destroyed.

Kira and he were always going to be friends, that's what they thought, but now Hisagi knew that dream was never to be, he had wronged him far too much. He started to walk past the building before the thoughts destroyed his sanity. That was until a voice called out to him.

"Hey _Hisagi-san_," it was Kira. "Where are you off to?"

"Just walking," Hisagi answered.

"Walking," Kira breathed as he walked down the stairs to Hisagi. "Walking is nice isn't it?"

Hisagi nodded. "I guess so…"

"I wonder if walking would be as fun if I break your legs right here." Kira asked as he moved closer to Hisagi.

Kira's hand made contact with Hisagi's neck, pulling him harshly, his body falling onto the stairs. Kira's strength pushed at him harshly as breath started to cease from his lungs, the 3rd Division captain's hand cutting off his supply. He looked into his best friend's eyes and saw something completely different, something that he thought that he would never see within him. Rage and disgust filled his eyes as he pushed Hisagi deeper.

"What game are you trying to play? What the hell are you trying to do?" Kira growled as he pushed Hisagi deeper. "Are you trying to make me miserable because you're jealous that I became a captain before you?"

Hisagi gagged as his vision started to cloud, Kira's words starting to become faint as his consciousness was fleeting. He weakly moved a hand to Kira's wrist as to try to push him off.

"I thought I could trust you, but I know what you're doing now! I know what you're doing! And it's got to stop…" Kira hissed venomously. "What? Did you think I was going to lash out at her? Get real! I can still make things work out with her! I can still get her to love me…"

Hisagi coughed again as his body started to shake in pain, water rolling down his cheeks.

"I will never forgive you if you touch her again…" Kira growled harshly as he pushed Hisagi deeper into the stairs. "I will never forgive you…" tears rolled down Kira's cheeks as his hand shook up against Hisagi's neck. "Touch her and I'll cut that bastard's heart right out of your chest!"

He released Hisagi's neck as Hisagi started to cough, clutching his neck as he remained laying on the 3rd Division steps. His eyes continued to water as he gasped for air, his body still shaking in pain as he looked up at Kira.

"You've lost your mind!" Hisagi winced.

Kira started to walk back into the division. "You better be gone by the time I get back out here…"

Hisagi closed his eyes as he tried to catch his breath, feeling the pressure of Kira's hand still on his neck. Was Hinamori worth this? Was this all worth all of the pain that he had gone through. It was worse that hate, it was worse that him being angry. He was now getting death threats from Kira. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he tried to take this all in. Nothing was worth it anymore.

* * *

This chapter really was to heat up the feud between Hisagi and Kira and there will be actions taken that aren't necessarily mature or intelligent, but hey, when men fight over a girl does anything really make sense? I also wanted to create more tension between Rukia and Renji, this is going to come up A LOT! And the Yumichika and Ikkaku relationship is going to be more important as this goes on as well.

The next chapter is going to be VERY dramatic.

Like what you read? Feel free to private message me a request!


	7. Chapter 7

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Kira x Hinamori, Renji x Rukia, and references to: Hisagi/Kira and Ukitake x Rukia.  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, strong language, references to sexual material, slight alcoholism, and references violence. Also: BEWARE OF ERRORS!  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Matsumoto moved to the door, hearing a knock on it. "Taichou…" there's someone at the door!" there was no response after that. "Taichou!"

She rolled her eyes as she moved to the door. Her captain usually was the one who did the work, which included opening doors. She silently cursed whoever it was behind the door asking if they could have picked a better time to come around. Yet as she opened the door, everything stopped as she saw the bruises and the small amount of blood on his face.

"Shuuhei?" Matsumoto gasped. "What the hell happened to you?"

Only one word came out of his mouth, but when Matsumoto heard it, she didn't want to believe it. "Kira."

"What the hell happened?" she asked again.

"I was walking around minding my own business, then all of a sudden he jumps me and starts threatening me. The threats were cute though," Hisagi scoffed as he walked past the lieutenant into the office. "_Touch her and I'll cut that bastard's heart right out of your chest_…" his words changed octave as he mocked Kira's innocent intimidating voice. "Like he'll ever get at it…"

"That was a pretty good Kira impression," she smiled. "Oh… did he really say that?"

"Yeah and that along with his candy-arm grip didn't do anything to scare me off," Hisagi scoffed.

"But you're going to handle this like an adult right?"

"I hate that. Hisagi's always the one who acts maturely. Hisagi's always the one who looks before he leaps. Hisagi's always the one who masks his emotions. Not this time, Rangiku-san," he shook his head. "Not this time… if Kira wants a fight, then he can have one. I'm done sticking up for him, I'm done protecting him, it's time that he gets a taste of his own medicine."

"Don't you want to think before you do anything?" she asked. "What are you going to do anyway?"

A smile rolled across his face. "Hinamori…"

"You're going to do Hinamori?" she asked as she tried to make sense of what he just said, it dawning on her instantly. "You're going to _do_ Hinamori! Listen, you're angry, you're not thinking straight, maybe you should sit down for a couple of hours and blow off some steam some other way."

He shook his head. "I have only been holding back to save him, to make him think I'm not _that_ bad of a person, but no matter what I do he's always going to attack me. So I say fuck him…"

Matsumoto closed her eyes as she heard the thickness of his anger in his voice. "This is all going to go away in a few hours after you relax for a while, Shuuhei. Don't do anything that's going to make this worse."

Shuuhei sighed as he walked past her, the clicking of his heels throwing unease into her body as she felt the frustration running through them as well. "I'm done with him. From this moment on, Hisagi Shuuhei and Kira Izuru are enemies: _mortal_ enemies. If it's a fight that he wants, he'll have to be able to finally surpass me."

"Now you're getting physical?" Matsumoto asked. "It's not a war. This is Hinamori we're talking about. Don't get your weapons ready for something so small."

He shook his head as he ran his fingers along the bruise. "Rangiku-san, he hates me. He wants me dead no matter what happens. At least when he does kill me, and he will, Momo will get what she wants. She will finally get the love that she so desired and deserved."

Matsumoto bowed her head as she heard those words. Hisagi was truly in love with Hinamori. She had seen it from the days when they were working together to get her out of the cell, the days when Hinamori was spending prison time for Renji, the night when Kira had become a captain, the weeks that Hisagi was in the 4th Division, and even now when they were trying to conceal their emotions. All the while she saw Kira trying to covet her from Hisagi, all of the romance he once had for Hinamori seeping out of the cracks of the foundation of their relationship. Now as Hisagi and Kira had gone at war she saw the fight between love and jealousy ignite between two men who she once thought were never going to leave each other's sides. Now as Hisagi Shuuhei rested his hands up against Hitsugaya Toushirou's desk, she knew that everything that she once knew about those two was gone.

The bruises and the blood along Hisagi's body was enough for her to know that there was no turning back. All of the moments of those two together were slowly starting to slip away into a darkness that she knew didn't suit them. Yet she saw the regret in Hisagi's eyes, a regret that was overshadowed by his deep anger toward the 3rd Division captain. It was a regret that was going to haunt him in the morning.

"You're going to regret this," Matsumoto tried to explain. "You're going to hate yourself after all of this is done. I've seen what regret looks like, I've seen more than you think that I have, boy. I've seen how sensitive you truly are. You won't able to live with yourself and you're going to try to commit suicide again."

She thought back to the moment where he ran into open fire and wound up with Suzumushi through his chest. He wanted to do that all along, to end his life and not have to live in a world where everything was going so sour. She saw the start of that again as he was put into a position of power as his best friend started to get jealous of everything that he had accomplished and possessed. He was starting to fall into the same pit that had threatened to take him over before. He was falling faster than he could catch himself.

"Shuuhei, I'm begging you. Don't do anything that you're going to regret," Matsumoto closed her eyes as she watched him turn to her, her eyes falling onto the scar on his chest. "Please… Shuuhei, don't do this…"

"Rangiku-san," he sighed as his hands trembled against the desk. "You don't know what's going through my mind. I want to destroy him, murder him, cause all of the pain that he's caused to me…"

"He's done nothing!" Matsumoto yelled as she walked toward him. "He tried to strangle you. I don't think that merits anything along the lines of destroying his life. You are being rash…"

"Am I? Am I being rash? He's going around the whole Society spreading these lies. He's calling me a whore, Rangiku-san! A whore? Me!" he shook his head. "If he wasn't spending so much time riding Ukitake-soutaichou's dick maybe he'd be able to see what's happening. He's trying to slander my name then so be it. I will attack him in a way worse than his name. I will attack his livelihood."

"Don't do this…" Matsumoto breathed, closing her eyes. "He'll kill you!"

"Let him!" Hisagi hissed as he turned away from her. "Let him kill me, then you can talk to _him _about regret!"

He walked toward the door as Hitsugaya walked in, not even saying goodbye to Matsumoto. She looked at the door as tears started to form in her eyes. Hisagi wasn't stable. He wasn't like them man that she thought he was. Once he started drinking again, he had turned into a completely different man, he had become more deatched from the world, he had thrown himself into a pit where he knew no one would try to go after him. Now she was the one who had to try and save him. She had to stop Kira from making this any worse.

"Matsumoto?" Hitsugaya asked as he looked at her. "What was that all about?"

She closed her eyes as the scar on Hisagi's chest came back to her mind. "Nothing, taichou…" she breathed as she shook her head, thinking of the blood and the despair of that suicidal night. "Nothing at all…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira ran through the door to the 5th Division. "Where the hell is Hinamori?" his voice was full of toxic venom that made everyone freeze as they looked at him.

"What do you mean?" Kiyone asked as she looked at the captain. "What do you want to see her for?"

Kira closed his eyes tightly as he thought about Hisagi's hands all over Hinamori's body, as he thought of those lips on hers. It made him sick to his stomach. The moment that Hisagi left the 3rd Division, he knew that it was a race, and if he put Hinamori on his side before Hisagi could get to her than he knew that there was no way he could lose this race.

"Where is she?" he asked again.

Kira could see it in Kiyone's eyes; the lieutenant thought that Kira was going to hit her captain. She thought that Hinamori was in danger of abuse if she told her where she was. He closed his eyes at that thought, was there a chance that he was going to hit her? Was he that upset at Hinamori for all of this? Deep in his heart, he knew that it had to be Hinamori's fault, but as he remembered the friendship that he and Hisagi had allegedly shared all he could do was place the blame on him. He closed his eyes as he mustered the strength to ask again.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"She's out."

"Tell me where she is!" Kira urged, but Kiyone would not budge.

"Why is it important?"

Kira closed his eyes tightly as he thought about Hisagi getting closer. "Have you seen Hisagi-taichou?" he asked, choking on that name.

"He was on his way to the 10th Division," Kiyone answered, watching a smile roll across Kira's face.

_She's not at the 10__th__ Division and he's not at the 9__th__ so she must still be training. I'll get there before he does! _He ran to the door, not even saying than you to Kiyone. He had no time. His actions out side the 3rd Division were rash, and recently Hisagi's thought process was a little less advanced than it used to be. It could only end in tears.

This was a war now, a war that they could have easily prevented if they controlled their idiocy. Kira closed his eyes as he moved closer to where Hinamori was training fearing that this was no longer for the love of Hinamori. He moved faster as he wondered if his friendship with Hisagi was worth this, if he was able to give up all of the decades of happiness for something that was so small, so insignificant. He threw those thoughts aside as he realized it was.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Iba ran into the 13th Division to see Renji on the ground with a bottle of sake. "Rukia's gone with Ukitake-soutaichou. They both left for the 1st Division together."

Renji looked up at the lieutenant as he nearly dropped his bottle of liquor. Thoughts raced through his mind as he thought of the last couple of days. All of the accusations flooded back into his mind as he realized that it was likely that there was aonther man. He closed his eyes tightly as he felt a storm of emotion rise throughout his body as he heard those words.

"What were they doing when you saw them?" he asked, demanding answers.

"They were embracing and then they went to the 1st Division," Iba shook his head. "He was her former captain after all… maybe there was a chance that she had feelings for him."

"No, Kira had feelings for Ichimaru, Hinamori had feelings for Aizen, Rukia did and does not have feelings for Ukitake-soutaichou!" he shook his head as he wrapped his hand tighter around the bottle of sake. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want to believe it."

"Was she a virgin when you first had her?" Iba asked.

"Kind of a personal question isn't it?" Renji asked as he closed his eyes tighter. "Yes, she was…" he fought the burning sensation of tears coming to his eyes as he thought back to that moment, they were happy, they were truly happy.

"Abarai…" Iba continued. "I know that this is difficult, but I think she might be having an affair with Ukitake-soutaichou. I think that she's grown bored of you."

"I'm her fiancé, you don't grow bored of you _fiancé_!" he shook his head as he thought about what was going on. "Why?"

"I think you should ask _your_ fiancée that question," Iba breathed as he saw the anger that was inside of Renji. "Abarai…"

"Leave me…" Renji whispered.

"Abarai…"

"Leave me!"

Iba obeyed the command and walked out of the room, but the moment the door closed, the bottle of sake slammed into the wall shattering into pieces as a cry of anguish passed Renji's lips. Papers off of the desk fell to the ground as he kept crying out in heartache, everyone outside of the office going silent. He then slammed his back to the door and started to shudder as he felt a crawling sensation rolling through his skin. He had been betrayed by someone that he loved the most.

He remained on the ground as the tear that had been haunting him earlier fell from his eye, going down his cheek, burning him like an open flame. There was no hope for him and Rukia as a pair anymore. They were divided. He had nowhere to turn. He was destroyed.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hinamori held onto Tobiume tighter as she was about to swing it again. Her life had been harder than she wanted it to be. Hisagi finally started to warm up to her, finally told her that he was willing to take their forbidden relationship to the next level. She remembered what his body felt like against hers, something that washed away all of the anger that Kira had once caused her.

She knew that Kira's heart had changed, there was no longer any love in his eyes, there was no love in her touch, every kiss didn't seem sincere, everything that she had felt with him didn't feel like he cared about her any longer, this had turned into a game. Yet it was a game that she no longer wanted to play in, it was a game that she knew that would only end in tears, something that Kira deserved.

As she tried to focus on Tobiume, she heard footstep come closer to her. As her eyes moved to glance at who it was her, her heart started to sink deep within her chest, there before her was her so called "lover" with a sour look on his face.

"What are you doing all the way out here?" Hinamori asked as she almost dropped Tobiume.

"I confronted Hisagi today," Kira announced.

"What did you do to him?" she asked. "Did you hurt him?"

"Why is the important?" he asked her back. "You shouldn't care so much about Hisagi, you should care about me. I told him that he should stay away from you; we're trying to make this work out between us. I want to make this work."

"Izuru…" she breathed. "I don't see a future for us…" she shook her head. "I don't see you ever putting me above your work."

She thought back to what Hisagi said, he wasn't going to touch her until she let Kira go. And as she looked ay Kira, she saw a friend, nothing more than a friend. Yet now when she looked into his eyes, she saw a small amount of forced pain within them overshadowed by his confusion. He knew everything; he knew that she was in love with Hisagi. He knew that's why they were over.

"Are you breaking up with me?" Kira asked.

"I think we'd be better off as friends, don't you?" she asked as she looked into his eyes. "I want you to know that I will always care for you, I love you like a brother, Kira Izuru, I don't love you like a lover."

He shook his head as he looked at her. "I don't want this to happen…"

"I want you to tell me one thing. Are you in love with me? Or do you want Hisagi-san?" she asked, seeing his eyes light up. "Are you attracted to Hisagi-san?"

"Are you accusing me of being a homosexual?" Kira asked as he looked at her straight in the eyes. "Hinamori-kun…" it had been a while since he had called her that, her heart starting to warm as she heard those words. "I must be disgusting for you to even think that!"

"So you _are_," she breathed, a condescending smile on her face. "I always knew Kira-kun, from the first day that I met you; I thought that you were a homosexual. The way you looked at Abarai-kun, Hisagi-san, Ichimaru, even Ukitake-soutaichou. Kira-kun… don't stay with me if you aren't happy."

"I want to be happy with you."

"You want to appear to be normal."

"I want for once in my life to be looked at as someone to be admired, I don't want to be poor little Izuru-chan anymore. I want to have something of my own. I want to be someone's Abarai-kun," he shook his head. "Why do you want to be with him so?"

"Are you going to attack him again?" Hinamori asked as she moved further from him, rolling her eyes. "Because if that's your plan then you can go screw yourself because you're not going to get anything out of me."

"There's nothing you can say that will make me leave you," he breathed as he looked into her eyes.

"How about this?" she closed her eyes tightly. "I love him more than anything…"

"I see," he shook his head as he walked away from her. "Don't come by the 3rd Division today, I can't stand to look at you and tell that harlot of yours to obey the same rules." he then started to walk away from her. "We'll discuss this more tomorrow."

As he walked away, Hinamori closed her eyes tightly. She missed the Kira Izuru that she once knew. She missed the shy Kira who would never attack anyone. But she knew much like Renji and Hisagi, the duties of being a captain had taken them over, they were no longer thinking straight.

She grasped Tobiume again as she thought about all that was occurring in this world, she knew that there was no longer anyway for her to have what she wanted, not while Kira was like this. So with her own hands she was going to knock some sense back into Kira, no matter how much it would hurt.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia walked back into the 13th Division only to see glass all over the office and alcohol soaked papers. She walked deeper into the office, her heart racing as she wondered what could have happened in there. She then saw her fiancé lying on the floor in the corner, his eyes swollen as his body was soaked with sake, his red hair adhering to his face as he looked at her with sad rust colored eyes.

"Where have you been?" he asked.

She looked at what he had become trying to fight the tears that were coming to her own eyes as she saw him shudder a little. "I was just doing some work."

"I didn't assign you any…" Renji whispered coldly. "I'm your captain; I know when you have work and when you don't. And I should always be informed of you going to other divisions to help them with their own _tasks_."

"I'm sorry that I forgot to tell you," she saw the look in his eyes; they resembled Kira's whenever he looked at Hinamori. Renji's heart was dying right in front of her, the heart that she had loved so fiercely for years.

This situation had taken her unbreakable fiancé and had thrown him, to the floor with bits of glass and sake drenched papers. She walked closer to him as she knew this was her fault. She wasn't worthy enough for him, and every step that she took toward him, her heart was breaking too. She loved him so much, loved him more than she loved her life, now as she looked at her broken fiancée she knew that it was never going to be the same. They were only going to break each other as this went deeper. They were falling apart.

"Come here," he breathed as he lifted his arm from the ground, reaching to her.

As she moved to him, he grasped her into a deep embrace, the first tear finally falling down her cheek. She returned his embrace as she felt his lips hit her cheek. Every moment as she lay in his embrace, she felt his body start to die, his soul crying for its life. She closed her eyes tighter as she fell limp in his embrace, feeling his breathing start to speed up.

"I love you, Rukia…" he whispered as he held onto her. "I love you…"

She closed her eyes as she tried to say it back. She couldn't nothing that she could say could allow her to say it back. Even after the hours of crying in the 1st Division as Ukitake, she couldn't look at Renji even after that. As his arms tightened around her, she couldn't say it back, hearing the pain in his voice as he said it one last time.

"I love you…" he said.

She closed her eyes as she heard those words, she tried and tried but she couldn't say anything to him. There was nothing there for her to say to him.

* * *

This chapter, last chapter, and next chapter are all supposed to happen in the course of one day. The next chapter will be the first chapter without any Renji/Rukia problem. But there are going to be two major things that happen in the next chapter that have been expected to happen since _Falling Petals_. There is also going to be more Ikkaku/Yumichika. Look forward to that.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request.


	8. Chapter 8

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Kira x Hinamori, Ikkaku/Yumichika, slight Hisagi/Kira, and references to Ichimaru x Matsumoto.  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, strong language, strong sexual material (lemon), a childbirth scene, and references to violence. Also: BEWARE OF ERRORS (this was so long that I know that I missed a few, thank you for putting up with this is the las couple chapters)!  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Yumichika sat at the desk as he heard the sound of whistling outside the door. Ikkaku was still there, he wasn't going to leave him alone until he let him inside. Yet as he thought back to their memories in the 11th Division, he knew that the door was going to have to stay closed, no good would come of him seeing his face gain.

"Come on, Ayasegawa-fukutaichou…" Ikkaku laughed as he tried his hardest to get the door open. "You know you want to see me again…"

Yumichika closed his eyes tightly as he heard those words. Once upon a time he would have opened the door in a heartbeat; this was not one of those times. All he could think about was the day when Ikkaku sat there idle, doing nothing to even stop Zaraki from banishing him from the 11th Division. All he could see Ikkaku as now was a smaller version of Zaraki. He was nothing but a monster.

"You're wrong," Yumichika scoffed as he looked down at his work.

"What if I break the door down?" Ikkaku asked.

"Then you'd have to fix it," Yumichika answered as he ran a hand through his damaged hair. "You aren't going to do that though, otherwise you'll be arrested faster than you can say Ayasegawa-fukutaichou…"

"That's not very fast," Ikkaku joked.

"You get the point," Yumichika scowled. "Why don't you just go away? It's getting late."

"I don't need to go back to the 11th Division."

"And why not?" Yumchika scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

"Because there's nothing there for me anymore," Ikkaku answered, Yumichika can sense his smile.

"Stop it," Yumichika closed his eyes. "Stop trying to get me to open the door. I really want to be out there with you, Ikkaku, but you have to understand that this is where I belong now. The 11th division is a thing of the past; I can never go back there. There's nothing there but cold memories. I don't want to live in a world where there is only pain. This world, the world that I'm in now is the only world where I feel at peace."

"Why Yumichika?" Ikkaku's voice was low. "Why didn't you tell me about your zanpakutou? I told you about mine…"

"I thought you would shun me, I wasn't 11th Division material," Yumichika said back as he heard the hurt in Ikkaku's words. "Yours was alright by those standards."

"Alright?" Ikkaku asked. "I think mine would get me into deeper shit than yours did. Can you imagine what would happen if Ukitake-soutaichou knew. Can you imagine what would happen if Zaraki-taichou knew?"

"Yes," Yumichika answered. "You'd be asked to leave, but you could always say no. You could sty where you were. I was banished from the Soul society. The only reason why I'm still here is because of Kuchiki-taichou. He saved me. He's the reason why I'm still alive."

"I'd prefer if we could fight in person…" Ikkaku breathed. "I can hear your tears; I want to be there to help you clear those up…"

"I can't…"

"You _can_, just open the door," Ikkaku breathed softly as he was right up against the door. "Open the door…"

Yumichika moved slowly as those words drew him to the door, his heart breaking as he moved closer and closer. As he opened the door, he saw Ikkaku standing before him, looking straight at the tears that were falling from his eyes. Yumichika wiped the residue of the tears away only to have Ikkaku finish the job with his thumb, his eyes looking deeply into the eyes of the 6th Division lieutenant.

"Ikkaku…" Yumichika whimpered as he looked into Ikkaku's eyes.

What happened next, Yumichika never got a full recollection of, all he knew is his lips hit Ikkaku's with the most passion that he had ever felt. As he felt those muscular arms wrap around his body, Yumichika lost all control of his actions and no longer fought back. He no longer pushed him away. He no longer thought of his as an enemy. As they stood there kissing passionately in the 6th Division office, a dozen shinigami as their audience, everything that had happened to them in the past weeks meant nothing. For that moment it was all wisped away. But like everything in life, that soon ended.

"I can't do this," Yumichika breathed as he backed away, walking toward the door.

"Yumichika!" Ikkaku called out to him as he walked through the door.

"I'm so sorry…" the lieutenant called out as he walked down the hall. He closed his eyes tightly as he savored the kiss, his body still pulsing with the need that Ikkaku had left him in. Yet he kept on walking. He couldn't go back there.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira walked toward the 10th Division, watching as Captain Hitsugaya left the building. No doubt Hisagi was still there. He curled his hand into a fist as he walked toward the office, ignoring all of the shinigami who looked at him strangely. No matter what all he could think of what Hisagi Shuuhei, the treacherous snake that he had once called his best friend.

He then walked through the door, seeing no sign of Hisagi. "Where is he?"

"Who?" Matsumoto asked. "Taichou? He went to go find Hinamori…"

"No," Kira scowled. "That snake Hisagi…" he walked deeper into the office. "I know he's up to something…"

"Up to something?" Matsumoto asked as she watched the captain start to search the office. "Kira, if Shuuhei was in here, I doubt he would be hiding from you. After all you two have become bloodthirsty."

Kira heard those words and turned to her. "So he was here! What did he say?"

"Nothing good," Matsumoto sighed as she turned away from him. "Stop this war with Shuuhei before one of you gets hurt. Kira, please, this isn't going to end well at all."

Kira closed his eyes as he remembered the look in Hisagi's eyes on the night, the night when Hisagi came back to him almost in a body bag. That night was the most horrifying night that Kira had ever lived through as he could still hear those words coming from Aizen's lips. Since that night, Kira vowed that he would never allow anything like that to happen to his friend again, he was never going to let him get that depressed to the point where he would through his life away in a useless war. Yet now as he looked at the situation he was in, he knew that he did just what he said he would never do: he was starting to destroy him again.

"I know that very well," he closed his eyes remembering the last embrace that they shared that night. "But you don't understand what's going on through my mind. You don't understand how betrayed I feel. He can burn in Hell for all that I care."

"You don't mean that," Matsumoto breathed. "I know you don't mean that."

"How? How do you know that?" Kira's words were sharp.

"Because I saw how you cried that whole night. You cried until the moment that you felt his heart beat beneath your fingertips. You lost everything that you thought was important to you that night you…"

At that moment, she put a hand on her stomach as she let out a small wince. "What's wrong?" Kira asked, fearing the next sentence that came out of her mouth.

"It's here…" she winced.

"The baby?" he asked as he moved closer to him. "I didn't know you were due. Has it really been nine months already?"

Matsumoto took deep breaths as she looked at Kira. "Get me to the 4th Division…"

"Me?" he asked, his body starting to shake. "You want me to take you to the 4th Division? I can't… I-I can get help…"

"Get me to the 4th Division _now_!"

Kira didn't linger for a second as he heard those words, all of what he thought about Hisagi and Hinamori leaving him as he could only focus on Matsumoto giving birth to his former captains' child. This was the moment that they had all been waiting for.

0o0o0o0o0o0

She swung Tobiume again as she closed her eyes. "Snap, Tobiume!" she watched as a burst of energy ran from the sword, her body shaking as she struggled to control the way that she used her sword. She was one of the only captains who had not been able to use bankai, yet she was accepted due to her bravery. Three captains had not mastered their bankai, Zaraki was unable to even do his shikai and Hisagi was in the hospital for weeks and just recently got out.

_I can't fall behind Kira-kun and Abarai-kun_, she swung her sword again. "Snap, Tobiume!" she watched as nothing happened again, she couldn't even feel Tobiume's presence, falling to the ground shaking her head. Once again she was the one who had been left behind while everyone else was progressing.

Her fist hit the ground. "Damn it!"

A sound then filled the area as she heard footsteps walking toward her, they sounded like a pair of heeled boots hitting the ground, her heart racing as she knew who it was. Her eyes looked up to see him walking closer to him.

"Hey Hinamori," he greeted as he walked closer to her. "Long time no see…"

She watched as he walked closer, seeing the two swords that were at his side, one of them being Kyouka Suigetsu, Aizen's former zanpakutou. Her body tensed as he walked to her side, his eyes looking down one her, his hand extending to her. For a moment, her heart froze, the wind gently picking up her hair, cooling her skin with the thin layer of sweat that was on her.

"Need a hand?" he asked as he helped her up.

She took his hand as she turned away. "I need to get back to work…" she answered as she tried to walk away. "I need to achieve my bankai to prove my worth as the 5th Division captain…"

His words froze her in place as he asked her a single question. "Need some help?"

She looked over her shoulder to see Kyouka Suigetsu in his hand as he let Kazeshini stay sheathed, his eyes looking into hers as if trying to receive an answer. All she could see as she looked at that sword was Hisagi's body only hours after the transplant, where they all thought that they were still going to lose him. As she looked at him, she knew that there was no way that he was going to leave her again, her heart reaching out to him.

"I would love a hand…" she looked into his eyes, her body starting to shake as she nodded. "That is if you and your bad heart can keep up with me, 9th Division Captain-san," she raised Tobiume to aim at him. "I'm too much for you…"

"My, my," he breathed, a smile gracing his lips. "It seems as though you have finally learned how to rise up to a challenge…"

"I will never back down," she ran to him, hearing the clash of metal between them. "I will never listen to you say that you don't care about me now. I know that you were in pain that night when Kira and I started our relationship, but you threw all of that away when you kissed me passionately this morning…"

"What are you talking about?" he dodged another swing from Tobiume, looking into her eyes. "Why so bitter all of a sudden? It's not like anything happened because of it…"

"Bullshit!" she breathed as she swung her sword again, watching him flash step out of the way. "He attacked you, you can't hide those bruises from me…" she threw the blade at him again. "I have been trying to get over you, Hisagi Shuuhei, but I can't. When I close my eyes, you're there. When I lay in bed with Kira, it's you I'm laying with. When I kiss his lips, I want to be kissing yours instead. I love you, Hisagi, I always have… and no matter what Kira does"

He blocked her sword with his, seeing the look in her eyes as she moved closer to him. She could feel his body tense at her words, swallowing hard as he tried to answer her. He loved her too, she knew that he did, there was no hiding that fact. Even now, she could see his lips longing to kiss hers, his body longing to touch hers. She was wishing for the same thing.

"Then you know what Kira's said about you…" Hisagi breathed. "You're all he's ever wanted…"

"He never paid attention to me, he ignored me when he was to become a captain, he never came to see me while I was in prison. You were there the whole time, you were the one who cared the most about me, Hisagi-taichou," she lowered Tobiume as he lowered Kyouka Suigetsu. "Hisagi…"

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a kiss, her body falling into his gently her arms moving to grab his haori. His tongue moved past her lips as he pushed her closer to one of the walls of the courtyard. She closed her eyes tightly as she remembered all of the other times she had received his lips. Her hands felt his start to push of the captain haori, his body starting to tense as he left her lips.

"I can't do this," he breathed. "Not out here, not when you're still with him…"

"I don't want to be with him. Everyday when I think of you I feel like I'm hurting him, I don't want to hurt him anymore," she rested on his shoulder. "I want you, Hisagi," she closed her eyes tightly. "I want to be with you. Ever since the day I met you, I knew that our bond was going to be greater. When I knew that we shared the same pain, I wanted to get closer to you. When were in that cell together I was starting to like you more. When we were teamed up during the start of the war, I fell in love with you. When I thought you were going to die, I wished that it was me in your place. And now when I see you again, I know that it's you that I want more than anything… and besides, he said that we're on hiatus."

He closed his eyes. "That's so nice to hear. I've been freaking out about this for so long. I knew that I would start a problem the moment that I kissed you. But for some reason I did what I wanted to do more than anything. I hated seeing you get ignored the whole time, I thought Kira loved you, but he never showed it. I don't know if he truly loves you… and I no longer care." he backed away. "Let's go to the 9th Division, less chance of people there."

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira closed his eyes as he heard the screaming that was emerging from Matsumoto, the pain that was going through his body obvious by how hard she was squeezing his hand. Even now, Kira was loyal to Ichimaru until the end; he was now helping his lover give birth to his bastard child while he was off doing only God knew what. Kira closed his eyes tightly as he felt her squeeze harder, more pain rolling through her body.

"M-Matsumoto-san, you're hurting my hand…" the captain cried out as he felt as though his hand was on the verge of breaking. "Can you loosen up just a little…?"

"Shut the fuck up you dickless panty-waist!" she screamed as she pushed harder, his hand cracking once again.

"You don't have to be cruel…" Kira muttered under his breath as he fought the tears of pain that were coming to his eyes. Ichimaru was the one who was supposed to be here, this was supposed to be his hand that was breaking. Yet here Kira was, holding onto Matsumoto's hand as she gave birth to a child that wasn't even his.

Yet through all of the pain, he could only think about Hinamori's words. _I want you to tell me one thing. Are you in love with me? Or do you want Hisagi-san?_ He closed his eyes tighter as he thought of those words. Hisagi was like a brother to him, a brother, a friend, a comrade, he wasn't _attracted _to him. After all of the moments he shared with the 9th Division captain, he knew that he wasn't attracted to him. But as he thought about it deeper, ignoring the pain in his hand, he thought of one truth: he wasn't sure if he was in love with Hinamori anymore. But as he sifted through the anger, the anger that he had for Hisagi, was Hinamori right. Was this all just homosexual frustration toward a man that he was attracted to? He swallowed hard as he thought about those words. He knew that he could no prove them completely wrong.

"It's a girl!" Isane announced as the sound of crying filled the room.

"A girl?" he asked as he looked at the baby, hearing Matsumoto breathing start to calm down.

Then he felt another hard pain in his hand as Matsumoto started crying out in pain once again. "What's wrong?"

Unohana had a slight look of surprise in here eyes as she looked back up at Kira. "There's another one…"

"Another one?" Kira asked. "Ichimaru-sama was right?"

Before Kira could say anything else, the second child was born. Tears came to his eyes as he saw the look of joy on Matsumoto's face as she was handed the first child, tears of happiness rolling down her cheeks as she heard it cry softly. All of the problems Kira was having, all of the "homosexual frustration" was gone as he looked at how happy the new mother was.

"Another girl…" Unohana announced.

"What are you going to name them?" Isane asked with a smile, taking more interest in the naming than the actual children themselves. Even as a lieutenant, Isane never could hide the fact that she was still a woman.

Matsumoto knew automatically what to name the first one. "Kaede…" she breathed as she looked at her older daughter. "This one's name is Kaede…"

"That's a nice name," Kira smiled as he looked at the child. "But what about the other one?"

Matsumoto didn't have to think that long to know what she wanted to do about the other child; she looked up at Kira with a smile. "Gin trusts you more than anyone else, as do I. And since you were here for the birth I think that you should name her…"

Kira shook his head. "I'm really not good at…"

"You want to hold her?" Matsumoto asked as she offered him the unnamed child.

He took the child from her hands, looking straight at the baby. She was calm, quiet, but yet she was the most beautiful child that he had ever seen. As the baby gently grasped Kira's finger with her soft fingers, a smile rolled across his face. It felt like petals falling gently onto his hand. He took a deep breath as he looked at the child and then back up at Matsumoto.

"Hanako…" he breathed.

"Hanako," Matsumoto smiled as she looked at the child. "Hanako seems to like _you_…"

Kira looked directly at the child as he thought about everything that was going through his life. All of the tension that was going through his mind with Hinamori and Hisagi took a backseat on this ride throughout the rest of the day. He knew that he could trust Hisagi to do the right thing.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Their lips clashed she was laid on his bed, the sound of his heart rolling through her ears. The way that his lips moved, the way that he panted every time that they separated it made her feel as though this was heaven, this was the joy that she had been looking for in all of her life. She hadn't found it with Aizen and she hadn't found it with Kira, but deep in the embrace of Captain Hisagi, she knew this is where she wanted to be for the rest of her nights.

"Hisagi-taichou," she breathed as he moved to kiss at her cheek, a moan passing through her lips as his hands wandered to fully outline her curves. "I…" she swallowed hard as he ran his tongue along her chin, a giggle passing her lips as her hands moved to touch his back. "Hisagi…"

His fingers moved to push the 5th Division Captain haori off of her shoulders tossing it to the ground, his breath starting to stabilize. She then did the same to him, pushing the 9th Division Captain haori off of his shoulders, her eyes looking into his, her hand stroking his face. He kissed her palm gently whispering something incoherently, the heat of his breath teasing her endlessly. He then backed away, his hands undoing her keikogi.

"Hisagi-san," she breathed, Kira had never done this to her, she had never gotten this far with him. Kira was always afraid to take it past kissing, always afraid that it was going to be destroyed before their love even began. This was the one moment where she was fully understanding of the meaning of raw passion.

She winced as he pulled the keikogi open, exposing her breasts, her nipples erect from the electrical impulses going through her body. Eyes locked in a deep stare as her breathing sped up, his body heat coming closer to his.

"Hisagi," she breathed, gripping the sheets.

He kissed her lips lightly. "I told you that I would do anything for you," a smile rolled across his lips. "Ever since that moment in the cell, I haven't stopped thinking about you. From the second our lips touched, I knew I couldn't live without you, Hinamori-taichou."

A moan passed her lips as he took one of her small breasts into his mouth, his tongue messaging the nipple forcefully. She moaned his name, her legs moving apart, her pants becoming uncomfortably moist from his movements, his knees situated right against her pelvic area.

"Hisagi-san," she breathed, weaving her hands through his hair, grinding her hips up against his knee as his teeth grazed her nipple, her body shaking as she felt her vision starting to cloud. A loud moan escaped her lips as he stopped licking up against the nipple, his body backing away to look into her eyes again.

"Are you alright?" he asked, stroking her cheek.

Her hand moved to touch his chest, feeling the beating of his heart, feeling him so close to her. Those pulsations and his soft words made her want to be closer to him, made her want to lay with him for ages and forget her duties as a captain. Their eyes locked again, watching as he looked at her sympathetically.

"I'm sorry about Aizen," he breathed, placing his hand over hers, panting gently.

"He gave something that he would never have given in life. He gave you another chance at life," she moved forward to kiss his chest, hearing him moan softly. "He brought you back to us… we thought you were gone."

He kissed her again, his knee pushing deeper into her crotch, her body tightening at the feeling. Kisses streamed down her body, until he pulled off the rest of the keikogi, throwing it to the ground, leaving her cold and naked on his bed. His lips then ran kisses through her inner thigh, until he got to the farthest point of her leg. She moaned he moved his hand to run down the softness of her thigh.

"Hisagi-san…" she breathed, a smile coming to her face. "I love you…"

His eyes looked up into hers as a smile came to his lips. His fingers then moved to stroke her clit, her eyes shooting open as he felt that, her body clenching tightly as a moan passed her lips. His thumb continued to work up against her as his index finger pushed inside, stroking her walls.

"Oh God…" she winced, he legs tightening around his shoulders, pushing his fingers in deeper. "Hisagi-san," she gulped as she closed her eyes, the pulsations of her vagina starting to come closer together, almost to the point of spasms.

She let out a loud moan as she felt his finger brush up against her, hitting an area that made her body freeze. "You've done this more recently that you told me…"

He smiled as he looked into her eyes. "What makes you say that?"

"Because I…" she closed her eyes tightly, clenching her inner walls as he pushed another finger into her. "This feels so good…" she grasped his arm. "_Shuuhei_!" she moaned his name loudly as her heart stopped for a second, the fingers stopping as her eyes shot open, he body shaking.

He withdrew his fingers moving to kiss her lightly on the lips, his body in between her legs, his pants getting wet with her juices. Their lips then met again, their tongues twisting together as tears rolled down her cheeks, her hands moving to untie his keikogi. She then helped him slip out of the clothes, seeing the defined musculature of his body. Kira wasn't built like this, not even close. As he ran her hand along his shoulder, she felt the muscles flex, a soft moan passing her lips.

"Momo," he breathed feeling her lips move to kiss at his neck.

He panted her hand moved down his stomach, wrapping her hand around his erection, hearing him cry out as she touched it. Her hand moved up and down the flesh as she felt his breath speed up, curses passing through his lips.

Her eyes fell down to see what she had her hands on, only to see the size of the erection: it was larger than she thought it was. She swallowed hard as she thought about having that inside of her. She needed that. She needed to feel him pour into her. She needed everything from him before she went back to Kira after he ended their _hiatus_.

She then withdrew her hand from his arousal, moving to kiss him again, whispering in his ear. "What about timing?" She placed on his chest, her finger running along the scar hearing him wince.

"This is a good time," he answered breathily.

She then moved to push her breasts up against his chest, feeling his arm wrap around her to grasp the small of her back. "If that's the case then please," she kissed along his jaw line. "Make love to me," she took his lips in a kiss as she moved closer.

They then fell down onto the bed, his body on top of hers, both of them underneath the sheets, their eyes locking in a deep glance. He kissed her lips one last time as he pulled her hair down, pushing it out of her face. Legs moved further apart as she stroked his face, smiling gently at him.

A wave of electric pleasure rolled through her as she felt him push into her, a moan passing through her lips as she closed her eyes purring at the feeling of having him inside of her. She let out a series of short breaths and moans as she opened her eyes to look up into his eyes, tightening her legs around his waist.

The movements then started, her body burning with an inferno of passion as she felt her breath mix with his. The pulsations that were inside of her body made her heart almost stop, the movement of his hips made her body freeze, the breath on her lips made her moan louder. Everything that they had ever done together came back to her memories until the point when she watched him turn away as she kissed Kira.

Kira, he had told her that he loved her at the final get together to celebrate that he was a captain. Yet she was never truly happy, making excuses to see Hisagi in the hospital as he stayed to work in his office. He became a captain to prove that he loved her, but she never wanted that, she wanted someone she could do anything with. And with every movement to meet Hisagi's thrusts, she was making the vow that Kira made break into pieces. She moaned even louder as she realized that she no longer cared.

"Hisagi…" she breathed, moving into his thrusts harder, encouraging him to do the same. "I love you," a tear rolled down her cheek as she remembered Kira's face, she wanted to hear it from Hisagi's lips so she would feel as though this was right, that he would accept her.

Hisagi kissed at her neck lightly. "I love you too…"

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she heard him say that. She ran her hands through his hair and panted. "I love you, _Shuuhei_…"

They flipped over so that she was on top, every movement of her hips trying to make this moment real. She moved up and down on his body, feeling his thrusts becoming harder and faster, the pulsations become stronger and closer together as he came closer to his peak. He kissed her on the neck as thy kept on moving in unison, panting heavily.

Suddenly, as he moved as deep as he could inside of her, her heart stopped as the pulsations within her started to lose control, the electricity of their lovemaking running through her body. She moaned loudly as she threw her head back, falling gently into his arms as he kept on moving.

"Hisagi-san," she panted as she continued to move against him, looking into his eyes as they increased the speed. He buried his face in her shoulder as he finally reached his peak with a small wince, warmth running through her body as they held onto each other, panting in each other's ears.

"Hinamori," he panted as he lifted her off of his body, placing her to the side of him. He fell back onto the bed, panting loudly, his eyes closed as he tried to regain control of himself. "That was…"

She fell back onto the bed trying to see straight, trying to block out the white clouds of pleasure. Sex was never like that, that was a moment that Hinamori Momo had never experienced, Hisagi Shuuhei had given her an orgasm. She moved closer to him to rest on his chest, hearing the sound of his heart.

"What are you going to tell Kira after his _hiatus_ is over?" Hisagi asked as he looked at Hinamori who was resting on his chest, he reached to grasp the bottle that was holding the medications, pulling out a single one, popping it into his mouth.

"I don't know," she shook her head as she looked up at him, watching the muscles of his neck as he swallowed the pill. "I don't think that he ever has to know about this," she closed her eyes hearing his heart beat in her ear, holding onto his shoulder tighter. "It's none of his business."

"You want to keep playing this game even though you know he's going to get hurt?" Hisagi asked, breathlessly. "That's real shitty, Hinamori. You know and I know you're not happy, so why don't you just break free?"

Hinamori kissed at the scar on Hisagi's chest where Suzumushi had broken through, destroying his heart. "Because I don't know what he'll do to you," she looked up into Hisagi's eyes. "I feel safe around you, secure. I feel as though for the first time I can live my own life. I don't want Kira-kun to take that away from me."

Hisagi held onto her tighter as he kissed the top of her head. "You should tell him, Hinamori," he held her to his chest so she could hear his heart perfectly, sighing at the sound.

"I could get lost in your heartbeat," she sighed as she started to fall asleep. "I really do love you, Shuuhei…"

There was a silence as she heard him breathe gently in his sleep, his grip around her loosening. She nuzzled deeper into his chest, kissing the sweat soaked skin as she smiled gently, falling into a state of slumber. Then as she fell asleep she realized what she had just done. She had hurt him. Not Kira,_ Hisagi_.

* * *

This was a chapter where we finally get to see Matsumoto give birth to her children and Hisagi and Hinamori finally do the unthinkable and make love. This also showed the start of a possible Ikkaku/Yumichika relationship. The next chapter will have another lemon (brace yourselves for the lemons in this story, _Falling Petals _only had one lemon, so this one is going to have at least four, not as graphic as this one of course.)

Next chapter will be filled with guilt, homosexual frustration, and Renji finally reaching his breaking point for Rukia.

Like what you read? Feel free to make a request my PMing me.

Feel free to review as well.


	9. Chapter 9

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, slight Kira x Hinamori, Ikkaku/Yumichika, slight Hisagi/Kira, refererences to Ukitake x Rukia, and slight Kyouraku/Ukitake  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, strong language, references to sexual material, and references to violence. There are also a few errors in here, one day I'm going to go through this whole story and fix all of the problems.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Hisagi opened his eyes as he saw the sunlight start to dance through the windows. He looked around the room to see what had happened to him last night as his anger against Kira had risen to a point where he could no longer be responsible for his actions. It was like a drug, like he was intoxicated by a poison that wouldn't let him think about what he was doing. He looked around the room as a tear started to fall down his cheek as the memory of last night had come back to him, he had done something unforgivable.

He looked to his side, Hinamori was gone but he could still feel the stinging sensation throughout his body as he started to tremble. He was disgusting. He had not only hurt Kira, but he had hurt Hinamori as well. Although he had always wanted to do that, although it was a goal, he never wanted to do it when he did. But his malice got the better of him, he didn't care who he had to trample as long as Kira went down as well.

His stomach churned as he thought about what he was doing, a feeling that he hadn't felt in a while, his body still shuddering in disgust as he realized everything that he destroyed. His skin was no longer his skin, his soul was no longer his soul, his mind was no longer his mind, he had been poisoned and the poison still coursed through his veins like the Seed of the Devil.

"Oh my God…" he whispered as he closed his eyes tightly, wrapping his arms around him. "What have I done? What have I done?"

He felt another tear roll down his face as he thought to what he had thrown away. Kira was his best friend. Kira was his brother. Kira was his other half. Kira was everything to him and more, and yet in a brief moment of gratification he threw it all away. He closed his eyes as he felt his heart start to break. He couldn't function. He wouldn't be able to live unless he told Kira. So as soon as he mustered the strength to move and put his clothes back on, he would go and do something that Hinamori should have done a long time ago.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji sat in the middle of the division floor as he looked at his lieutenant walking around outside. His heart broke as he looked at her, imagining Ukitake Juushirou's hands all over her. His skin began to crawl as he looked at her deeper through the window. All of those decades meant nothing; everything that he did was meaningless as he looked at what was unraveling right before his eyes.

He closed his eyes tighter as he knew that everything was changing for him. His love was like a star. It shined so brightly in its prime, and even now that it had died, people would still see the luminescence of their love until the light finally died before their eyes eons later. He closed his eyes as he saw that start burn out right in front of him. There was nothing that could be done about everything that was occurring.

"Renji," a voice announced as they walked through the door.

Renji looked up to see Kuchiki Byakuya again, looking more breathless than he thought he would ever see him. "What seems to be the problem? It must be gigantic if it got you off of your royal ass that fast."

Kuchiki took a step forward. "What is this that I'm hearing about Rukia?"

"What part? The part where I'm about to call of our engagement or the part where Ukitake-soutiachou had his hands all over him, both are true so that's what you've been hearing," Renji breathed as he still looked out the window.

"Komamura-taichou told me what you and his lieutenant have been talking about," Kuchiki continued, trying to get Renji's attention on him.

"Tell Sajin to mind his own business."

"It is his business. What you are accusing is of more importance than you think it is. You are accusing Ukitake-soutaichou of not only sullying the good name of the Kuchiki Clan, but also assisting in the breaking of an engagement that I worked to long and too hard to get together," Kuchiki started to sound annoyed. "They almost made me step down because of this."

"Well look at it this way, you don't have to step down anymore. The Kuchiki Clan has gotten what they wanted. I know that they hate your habit of digging through the garbage, but now maybe you can find her a nice nobleman who can put up with her," Renji still couldn't take his eyes off of Rukia as she talked to the men in the 13th Division. "Why does she do that?"

"What?" Kuchiki asked, his voice pretending to be interested as they got away from the topic of dishonor on the Kuchiki name.

"Talk to other men, she knows it pisses me off," Renji breathed as he looked away from the window. "You see, she is the one who caused this, she is the one who wanted me to leave her. She hasn't looked at me the same in a while. She doesn't even want to talk to me. I don't know what I did that was so wrong. I don't know what I've done that makes her want to ignore me. I'm at a loss for words."

Kuchiki sighed. "She can't hate you that much…"

"She _never _talks to me anymore…" Renji answered as he closed his eyes. "I don't know what it is. What did I do?"

"Well you better find out soon, or there's going to be hell to pay. The Kuchiki Clan has decided to go behind my back and talk to Ukitake anyway. This is more serious than you think it is."

As Kuchiki walked out of the room, Renji could only look at his fiancée and how easily she talked to everyone but him. He closed his eyes tightly as he felt another feeling of disgust take over his body. He would never know what he did wrong.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira was sitting at his desk as he thought deeper about everything that Hinamori had said. The more he thought about it, the more it drove him crazy. Was this all just homosexual frustration? He thought back to the moment where he attacked his once best friend, the anger still burning in his brain as he tried to put all of the pieces together. All of the anger that he had toward Hisagi, all of the times that he had cursed him under his breath, was it all because he was secretly attracted to the man. Was he falling for the 9th Division captain? He closed his eyes tighter as he tried to block out the words that Hinamori had said to him. All of this time he thought that he loved her, but was it just devotion to her combined with the need to appear normal in a world full of men? As he progressed deeper into his thoughts, he didn't know how to feel anymore.

The door then opened, breaking him out of his frustration. That was until he looked into the eyes of the person who had walked in. It looked like it was the 9th Division captain, but in his eyes he saw the same look of shame that was apparent of the former 9th Division lieutenant. The man before him was Hisagi Shuuhei, but which one he didn't know.

"Isai-san…" Kira breathed as he looked at his best friend, his heart melting as he saw the look in his eyes. "What's going on?"

Hisagi took a deep breath as he walked forward. "Kira…" he whimpered as his body trembled. "I have something to tell you…"

Kira stepped forward as he looked into Hisagi's eyes. "What is it?"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kyouraku then watched members of the Kuchiki Clan came flooding out of the 1st Division. He then looked to see Ukitake sitting strongly on the chair that Yamamoto used to run the Gotei 13 with, seeing a blank look on his face as the last of the nobility left. Kyouraku then walked deeper into the room seeing Ukitake's dark eyes look up at him, only seeing sadness within them.

"What was that all about?" Kyouraku asked as he walked closer to Ukitake. "It's not normal to see that many members of a noble clan in one room," he looked deeper into Ukitake's eyes. "What's going on?"

"I've been accused of interfering with the affairs of the Kuchiki Clan," Ukitake said flatly as he kept looking forward, running fingers through his white long ponytail that had been thrown over his right shoulder. "They want me to atone for my sin by stepping down from the position of soutaichou…"

"Are you going to?" Kyouraku asked as he looked at his best friend.

"No," Ukitake answered. "They can do to me what they like. They can beat me to an inch of my life. They can destroy everyone that I love. They can start a war that will cost hundreds of lives. They can do whatever they want. I will never back down. I will never give up. I will never do as they wish me to do. I am Ukitake Juushirou, I am the man who was hand picked by Yamamoto-Genryuusai Shigekuni himself. I am the sole soutaichou of the Gotei 13, the 1st Division captain."

Kyouraku nodded as he heard those words. "It's good you're so passionate about this position. Kuchiki's one to reckon with."

"Kuchiki isn't the one who's leading this. Byakuya wants nothing to do with me stepping down. Everyone else in the clan wants me gone for what I did to Rukia," Ukitake sighed as he leaned back in his chair. "I must have done something horrible…"

"What did you do?" Kyouraku asked.

"Comforted her. She was in pain, she had just lost a child, a child that Abarai-kun fathered," Ukitake explained with another sigh, shaking his head as he continued. "I offered her to stay here while she was upset, she stayed until night fell. They misconstrued that as us engaging in an affair."

"Did you?" Kyouraku asked.

"No, I didn't."

"Then tell them that," Kyouraku saw the look in his friend's eyes. "You tried, didn't you?"

Ukitake nodded. "I guess the only one that they're going to trust is Rukia."

"So until she talks you're on the chopping block. My, my Shirou, I never thought you would get in trouble for chasing women. It's just so ironic that I'm the one who's trying to comfort _you_ through this," Kyouraku laughed.

Kyouraku looked deeper into his friend's eyes. He knew something was going on beneath the surface. The scent of war was still in the air, suffocating both captains as they tried to live their lives. Strange happenings had been occurring as they all sat in their own little worlds. This was greater than all of them.

"This is really distracting you from the war…" Kyouraku breathed.

"No… I know all about the war…" Ukitake answered. "I'll call a meeting later on to try to see what captains would be the best to lead the troops into Hueco Mundo. No doubt everything that is going on in there…"

"What captains are you thinking about?" Kyouraku asked as he looked at his friend.

"I have an idea of a few…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

"You dragged me all the way out here to talk, Hisagi-san. Just tell me what's wrong?" Kira asked as he stood in the middle of a barren field, the wind gently tossing his blond hair with it's every movement.

Hisagi stood toward the wind, not facing Kira as he ran his hands along his arms. He could still feel her on his skin. The smell of his sin was still inside of him as he could hear Kira's voice ringing in his ears. He couldn't even listen to his voice without his heart breaking with the shame of doing something so despicable to his best friend. Every second that went by he could feel the pain that he had caused him; he could feel the murderous ache of guilt roll through his body.

"Kira…" he breathed. "I did something that I'm not proud of…"

"Haven't we all?" Kira asked as he took a step forward, closer to Hisagi. "I can't believe I attacked you yesterday."

"I can't believe some of the things I said yesterday, some of the things I did," Hisagi closed his eyes as the night that he had shared with Hinamori came back to him. "Have you talked to Hinamori?"

"Hinamori-kun?" Kira asked. "No, I haven't talked to her since yesterday."

"Yesterday," Hisagi laughed as he heard that word. "Funny you should mention yesterday…"

"Hisagi-san…" Kira took another step forward.

"Don't come near me, Kira," Hisagi breathed as he shook his head. "I just want to start off by apologizing for everything that's going on with me. I did something that I don't expect you to forgive. I don't expect you to ever look at me again. I know you'll hate me after I say this. But I have to tell you…"

"I have something to tell you too," Kira responded as he walked closer.

Then in tandem they said the next two phrases, words that neither of them wanted to hear:

"I slept with Hinamori…"

"I think I'm gay…"

"What?"

"What?"

They both knew what they heard, but neither of them wanted to hear the words from the other's lips. They stared at each other long and hard as those words rolled through the air. Neither of them moved as they tried to block out everything that they had just heard, a tear rolling down Hisagi's cheek.

Hisagi heard the words that Kira had said, all of this time; Kira was never in love with Hinamori. He was in love with the fact that he could appear to be normal in everyone's eyes. He looked at Kira and saw the pain that he had caused him; he had shattered the only hope that he had of living a normal life. He had killed the man that Kira had wanted to be. He closed his eyes tightly as his heart beat started to slow, his body shuddering more as he knew he couldn't go back from what he had done.

"Hisagi-san?" Kira asked. "What did you say?"

Hisagi closed his eyes. "Nothing… I said nothing…"

Kira walked closer to Hisagi, his arms taking him in a deep embrace. "Whatever you do, whatever you say, I want you to know that I will never hate you. I can never hate you no matter what happens. You're my friend… _best _friend."

"If you heard what I said…"

"It doesn't matter anymore does it," Kira breathed as he ran his hand along Hisagi's back. "It doesn't matter what you did, it doesn't matter what you wanted to do, what matters is that you had the balls to confront me."

Hisagi's body shuddered as he heard the tone of voice in his ear, the feeling of the caress on his shoulders. This wasn't how friends were supposed to embrace. He closed his eyes as he started to gag just a little realizing the hushed tone in Kira's voice along with the tender feelings of his embrace. This wasn't how friends hugged, this was how lovers did.

"K-Kira…" Hisagi squeaked. "What are you doing?"

Kira's embrace started to loosen as his own body started to shake. "I'm so sorry…"

"Kira?" Hisagi asked as he watched Kira back away. "Kira!"

"I'm so sorry…" Kira backed away until Hisagi couldn't see him anymore.

"Kira! Come back! You didn't tell me how you felt about what I just said!" Hisagi closed his eyes as he fell to his knees, Kira leaving the horizon of his vision. "Kira… come back…" he shook his head as he ran his hands along where Kira's loving touch had brushed against him. "I slept with Hinamori…"

He looked up at the sky as he felt guilt roll through his body. He had destroyed everyone's lives. Tears started to fall from his eyes as his body shuddered, thinking of the malice that was linked with the previous night. Everything that he had done was coming back to him in a single moment, his body shaking even more violently as he realized that this was the end of his life. He was no longer Hisagi Shuuhei, he was a monster.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Matsumoto was laying in the 4th Division as she held Hanako in her arms, feeling her gently hold at her finger. A smile rolled across her face as she looked at her daughter. Everything about Hanako reminded her mother of her father. She was happy, mischievous, and already seemed like she was bright. She then looked over at Kaede who was taking a nap and she was more subdued and low key. Her daughters were like polar opposites. They were like Heaven and Earth, night and day, her and Ichimaru.

As she was sitting there with Hanako, someone walked through the door, taking her attention off of her daughter. "Rangiku-san!" it was Hinamori.

Matsumoto looked up at the captain and saw something different than she usually saw when looking at the captain. Her hair was a mess, her robes completely disheveled, she looked like she had been attacked. But as she saw the marks along Hinamori's neck, Matsumoto knew what had happened.

"You and Shuuhei get out of hand again?" Matsumoto asked as she looked at the captain.

"You could say that," Hinamori breathed, a smile on her face. "We had sex…"

"Sex?" Matsumoto asked, her eyes widening as she heard those words. "You slept with Shuuhei! Just now?"

Hinamori shook her head as she walked closer to Matsumoto, he body wobbling just a little as she moved closer to the lieutenant, her hand moving to straighten out her long hair as she sat next to Matsumoto, watching Matsumoto put her child in a cradle. As Matsumoto looked at the look in Hinamori's eyes, she saw a mix of joy and guilt within. Something was wrong.

"Last night," Hinamori continued as she looked at the lieutenant.

Matsumoto looked deep into Hinamori's eyes. "Was it that bad?"

"What?" Hinamori asked.

"The sex? Was it that bad?" Matsumoto asked, a smile rolling across her face.

"No," Hinamori answered with a nervous laugh. "The sex was good… _really _good… he's just amazing at everything that he does."

Matsumoto looked into Hinamori's eyes and saw the pain within them. "Then what's the matter?"

"Nothing," she breathed. "It's just… I don't know. I hurt two people when I did that… Shuuhei and Izuru are both going to hate me. The pain that I caused Kira-kun… the malice that I had toward him that forced Hisagi-san into doing something that he shouldn't have done. I left as soon as I could. You don't know what I've done…"

"I know what you've done, you've done nothing wrong. Those two will always butt heads about everything these days. Both of them have an interest in you and men will always fight over women, it's what they're supposed to do…"

"Not Kira-kun," Hinamori breathed. "I don't think he likes women…"

"You mean Kira's… _gay_?" Matsumoto asked as she looked at Hinamori. "How can you be certain?"

"The way he looks at Ukitake-soutaichou, it's how Abarai-kun looks at Rukia-san. I don't mean any insult to it, but I have this feeling, Kira-kun is not attracted to me. Kira-kun isn't attracted to any woman. Kira-kun likes men," Hinamori breathed as she shook her head. "And ever so… Kira-kun will never match up to how much I love Hisagi-san."

"And what is Shuuhei doing right now?" Matsumoto asked.

"I don't know. I bet he's telling Kira, he told me he wanted me to, but I can't."

"So you're going to let him take the fall?"

"No, I would… I could never," Hinamori answered. "This isn't Shuuhei's fault; this is all because of me. This is my fault," she shook her head as she closed her eyes tighter. "Whatever Kira-kun does to Shuuhei is all because of me. It's my fault that Kira attacked him earlier."

Matsumoto closed her eyes as she took in what Hinamori had said. The captain had thrown herself too deep into something that she knew was beyond her control. She didn't even think of the consequences that could occur if Kira ever found out: Hisagi could be killed, or his name ruined. She would also be deemed a whore by a large percentage of the Soul Society. Their lives could be ruined if Kira took this too harshly.

Their lives could also be ruined by other consequences. Hinamori, as she sat before the 10th Division lieutenant, could wind up pregnant with Hisagi's child, their antics behind Kira's back coming to light. Hinamori didn't think about anything, guided by her malice she went forth and did something that she was now regretting and it broke Matsumoto's heart.

"Now what are you going to do?" the lieutenant asked.

"I don't know," Hinamori breathed as she bowed her head. "I don't know…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ikkaku walked toward the 1st Division as he closed his eyes, thinking about what had happened yesterday. He could still feel Yumichika's lips on his as they hold each other close, passion rolling through both of their bodies. He could still taste Yumichika's breath as he kept walking thinking of everything that Yumichika had said to him. They had feelings for each other.

Ikkaku knew as much as everyone did that once feelings were shared, there was very little anyone could do to fight those feelings. It tormented him as he thought back to the comment where their lips touched, remembering the trembling of Yumichika's body up against his. He was never going to be able to live in a world where Yumichika was not, he was never going to be able to live if he wasn't able to see him again.

He kept walking forward as he looked at the 1st Division, for the first time all day it wasn't crowded with members of the Kuchiki Clan discussing the potential breakup of Abarai Renji and Kuchiki Rukia. He walked through the door as he took a deep breath. There sitting before him was the leader of the Gotei 13, Ukitake Juushirou.

Ukitake looked different than he usually did; the once caring captain now looked cold and lifeless as he stared off into space, all of the questioning of the Kuchiki Clan still in his ears as he sat in his chair before the world. Ikkaku moved closer as he watched Ukitake move his right hand to run his fingers through his ponytail as he kept looking forward.

"Why have you come here, Madarame Ikkaku?" Ukitake asked.

"There's been a problem in the 11th Division, concerning 6th Division lieutenant Ayasegawa Yumichika," Ikkaku announced as he walked closer to the captain.

"What has he done?" Ukitake asked.

"He has left me no choice but to resign from the 11th Division," Ikkaku answered.

A smile rolled across Ukitake's face, Ikkaku's heart stopping in his chest. "Do you think that to be wise?"

"I think it's the only way I can still function," Ikkaku answered as he closed his eyes. "The man is driving me insane! He's…" he sighed as he thought back on the 6th Division lieutenant. "What would you have me do?"

Ukitake stood up as he looked at Ikkaku, walking forward as the 3rd seat looked straight into his eyes. The greatness that everyone had talked about was there although Zaraki had deemed Ukitake a weak man. Ukitake Juushirou was no such man, he was someone that the Soul Society could rely on. Ikkaku bowed his head as Ukitake opened his lips to speak to him.

"What do you think is right?" Ukitake asked.

"What?" Ikkaku was confused

"What do you think is the right thing to do? Throw your division away or be with the man that you love?" Ukitake continued, a smile still on his face.

"What do you mean…?"

"I know how you feel about Ayasegawa Yumichika. I could have lived my whole life blind and senseless and I would still know how you felt about him. He's more than a friend to you, Madarame… he's someone that you can love and trust," Ukitake placed a hand on Ikkaku's shoulder. "But you have to decide."

"What if I can't decide? I'm in between my pride and my promise!" Ikkaku shook his head as if he were able to shake his confusion away, but he could not, it would always be there with him.

"Then what drives you to live more? Is it your pride that's helps you begin each day? Is it the fact that you are a proud member of the 11th Division? Or is it the smile on Ayasegawa-fukutaichou's face that makes you want to live? Is it the promise that you made to him that you'll never leave his side?" Ukitake asked, feeling Ikkaku's body tremble beneath his touch. "You will find, Madarame, there is very little difference between pride and promise. Sometimes your promise is what makes you proud, it's what keeps you alive."

Ikkaku took a deep breath as Ukitake walked back to his chair as he thought about what was occurring within him. What was the driving force in his life? Was it Zaraki or was it Yumichika? Was it the 11th Division or was it his best friend? Was it his self-deceptive happiness or was it the man that he loved? Ikkaku knew what it was, now all he had to do was act.

* * *

This chapter is somewhat of just seeing the reactions from what happened last chapter. Hisagi is feeling guilt for sleeping with Hinamori out of hate for Kira, Hinamori feels the same way as Hisagi, Kira is getting feelings for Hisagi, Ikkaku is trying to come to grips with his feelings for Yumichika, and Renji is starting to go compltely insane as Byakuya is trying to stop the Kuchiki Clan from killing Ukitake.

The next chapter Renji is going to do something he should have done a long time ago: confront Rukia.

Like what you read? Feel free to Private Message me a request.

Also feel free to leave a review, I take every word that you say to heart.


	10. Chapter 10

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Renji x Rukia, Hisagi x Hinamori, slight Hisagi/Kira, refererences to Ukitake x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, strong language, a small lemon (really light), some other sexual references, slight alcoholism, and references to violence and war. There are also a few errors in here, thank you for putting up with that.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Rukia stood up and started to walk toward the door as she looked back at her captain. She couldn't even look at him as she saw him like this. His eyes had become cold as the days went by. It had been a month since he had put a hit on Ukitake, and in that month she watched him die more and more every day.

He had become a slave to the bottle, alcohol being the only thing that kept his heart from breaking every time he looked at her. And as she watched him sink deeper into his alcoholic depression, she couldn't say a word to him. As she looked into his swollen eyes all she could see was the pain that she had caused him. Every time she saw his body trembling with fatigue and sorrow all she could think about was the pain that she had caused him. She couldn't see anything else.

As she walked through the door she turned to him as if to say goodbye, only to see him absorbed in his work, not even looking at her. The month that had passed was a cold one. Neither of them talked, neither of them went out of their way to even look at one another. Once upon a time, they never had problems; everything was so simple back then, now everything was difficult.

He looked up at her for a second, her heart breaking as she looked at him, seeing his like this killed her everyday that went by. She knew that she was the one who was slowly poisoning him, watching as he suffered every night. She was going to watch him suffer until it finally took him over. She walked through the door as fast as she could, that was before a voice called out to her.

"Where are you going?" she turned around to see Renji looking straight at her.

"I was going to go deliver some papers," she answered.

"No," he shook his head. "You're going to stay right here…"

"Abarai-taichou…"

"What did you just call me?" Renji asked.

Rukia heard those words come out of her mouth, but she didn't even think about what she was saying. In the circumstances of a normal lieutenant it would be alright to call her captain such a name, but this was not a normal circumstance. This was her fiancée, this was more than her captain, yet as she looked into her captain's eyes she knew that those words had destroyed him.

"Did you call me…?" he shook his head. "You may leave…"

"Renji…" she breathed.

"Get out of here…" Renji closed his eyes tightly.

"I don't know what…"

"I said get out of here!" he yelled as he looked away from her. "Or do I have to throw you out of here myself, _Kuchiki-fukutaichou_?"

Rukia turned to walk to the door, hearing harsh breathing coming from her captain as she closed the door behind him. She closed her eyes as she fell along the door to the ground, tears starting to form. She tried to stop the tears; she didn't deserve to cry for what had occurred. She was the reason he was like this, she was the reason that his fuse was so short. As the tears fell all she could think of was the agony that they had gone through.

"What are you doing on the floor, Rukia-san?" the lieutenant looked up to see a captain taking to her.

"Hinamori-taichou?" she wiped the tears from her eyes. "What are you doing here?

"I was coming here to see Abarai-kun, but judging by your face I think that there's something more important for me to talk about," she moved to kneel in front of Rukia, a smile on her face.

Rukia looked at the captain; she had been going through a love triangle. She had been pulled to death between Hisagi Shuuhei and Kira Izuru until she wasn't even sure how she was supposed to function anymore. But as Hinamori looked at her deeper, she realized there was something different about her.

"Your haori looks a little big…" Rukia questioned.

"What?" Hinamori asked.

"Your haori, it looks a little big…" Rukia repeated. "And I thought you had a sleeveless one…"

Hinamori blushed as she wrapped herself within the haori. "It's not mine…" she took the haori and showed Rukia the back, the lieutenant almost choking as she saw what was on it: the number nine. "It's Hisagi-san's."

"Hisagi-san? Hisagi-taichou!" Rukia shook her head as she thought about what was going on. "What about Kira-taichou?"

"He hasn't talked to me in a month, I think he's done with me," Hinamori answered as she held onto the haori tighter. "But that's not important. Looking at you, you've been through more than I have."

"I doubt it…"

"You need to get out of here…" Hinamori answered as she took Rukia's wrist. "We need to go for a walk."

Rukia looked back at the office, and then at the 5th Division captain. "Okay," she was no longer needed here.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi sat at his desk going through papers, a chill rolling through his body. It had been a while since he had kept his arms bare, the memories of being a lieutenant all coming back to him as he longed for his haori back. He didn't want to fight with Hinamori as she took his, walking out of the office to do only God knew what, he never liked being in a fight with her.

But as he felt the bareness of his arms, he thought back to the moment where Tousen had come back, a sickening sting going through his chest. That night changed everything, in that single moment he was not only to open Tousen's eyes but resurrect the captain that he had served under. Yet there was something that made him feel as though everything that he knew was about to change. The tone on Tousen's voice that day showed him that there was something wrong; that something wicked was coming this way.

The door then opened, his eyes going to who was standing in the doorway. "Hisagi-taichou…" he saw Iba in the doorway.

"What is it?" Hisagi asked as he looked at the lieutenant. "What's going on, Iba-san?"

Iba took a step forward, Hisagi's vision not leaving the lieutenant as there was an uneasy feeling rolling through him. "Ukitake-soutaichou would like to see you…"

"What's going on?" Hisagi asked.

"I don't know much," Iba answered, his voice low. "But there's talk of a war that's breaking loose in Hueco Mundo."

Hisagi shuddered as he heard those words. Hueco Mundo: that was the area that Tousen had gone back to. His body trembled as he thought about what had occurred since the former captains had gone there again. As he looked at Iba he knew what was going on. This was a draft. Ukitake had been plotting to fight whatever was occurring in Hueco Mundo. He was one of the possible candidates.

"Hueco Mundo?" Hisagi asked. "War? Me? How does any of this make sense?"

"You know what this is, Hisagi," Iba sighed as he walked closer to the desk. "This is a draft. Ukitake-soutaichou thinks that you could be a possible general for the army that he's going to send there. He's been recruiting people from divisions to go to war. You may have noticed that some of your men have been taken to the 1st Division."

"He wants me to lead all by myself?" Hisagi asked as he shook his head. "I can't… do you know how difficult that's going to be. How can I run a troop of men from all different divisions? If anyone from the 11th or 12th Division is going to go, how can you expect them to respect me when I have this," he pointed to the scar on his chest, Iba sighing as he noticed that Hisagi had a point. "They hate me for what I have… they hate me for everything that I did while Yamamoto-soutaichou was still alive."

"Hisagi…" Iba breathed. "I don't think you should be concerned about that. You should be concerned with how you're going to tell Hinamori-taichou."

Hisagi bowed his head. "Nothing is carved in stone; nothing is going to have to be true just because we said it. I shouldn't even give the thought life. She's going to be devastated…"

"What about Kira?" Iba asked.

"Kira… he doesn't need to know," he closed his eyes tightly as he remembered the night where he ran off by himself to his death, the look in Kira's eyes still haunting him as he ran his finger along the scar on his chest. "He'll just go crazy over it…"

"You don't want to tell him about the chance of you being drafted?" Iba asked.

"He might be drafted too right?" Hisagi asked as he placed his hand over his chest, closing his eyes tightly. "I don't want to worry him. It's bad enough that he's lost Hinamori, we should let him have some peace," he stood up. "Ukitake wants to see me?"

He walked toward the door as he could still feel Kira's arms around him, the look in his eyes sending chills down his spine. Everything that had happened to him, all of the pain that he had gone through. He closed his eyes tightly as he walked down the hall of the 9th Division; he knew that his life was going to end sooner than he thought.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"So you and Abarai-kun are having problems?" Hinamori asked as she looked into Rukia's eyes, the two of them walking along the road as she watched the lieutenant bow her head. "I guess all of us are starting to fall apart. Apparently not even you are free from the heartbreak.

"You could say that…" Rukia breathed as she looked at the ground. "Renji's been drinking pretty hard lately, I don't know whether he's going to kill himself doing it or not. All he does is cry, I've caught him doing it a few times, I know I'm not supposed to watch my captain cry, but I can't help but look at him as he's in pain. I want to comfort him but… what comfort can I give him?"

Hinamori bit at her lip. "Shuuhei went through a phase of drinking as well. I didn't know what I could do, but just being there, just talking to them can do more than you think it can. I pulled him out of his depression just as he freed me from my inner prison. We helped each other. That's what comfort everyone can provide. No matter who you are, you can always help someone by talking to them."

"Easy for you to say," Rukia breathed. "Hisagi-taichou still looked at you, and you were able to look at him. We look at each other and all we see is anger in ourselves. I did something horrible to him, and as a result he feels as though this is his fault. It's not his fault. I was the one who couldn't…"

"Couldn't what?" Hinamori asked.

"Nothing," Rukia answered. "I mean Hisagi-san and you, you're alright now right?"

Hinamori nodded. "I think so. Now that Kira is slowly weaning himself off of me, I think we can all be friends again. No one has to try to kill one another. We can all live in peace, that's what I hope."

"You make it sound easy," Rukia breathed, as she looked at the captain. "Renji is different than Hisagi-taichou. Renji's falling deeper than I've ever seen him fall before and the more I try to grasp him…" she shook her head. "The more I find myself falling with him. I don't know what to do, what to say."

Rukia watched as Hinamori pulled the haori closer to her, her eyes looking to the sky. Hinamori was different than Rukia, Rukia always knew that. Where Rukia was having a problem, Hinamori had solved all of hers. As she looked at Hinamori, she saw a woman who had always gotten what she wanted. Hinamori had finally gotten trust back and was promoted to captain of the 5th Division; she was able to break off ties with Kira so that she could finally be with Hisagi. She never ever had to work for anything.

"So, when did you last make love to Abarai-kun?" Hinamori asked.

Rukia blushed a little. "A _long _time ago…"

"Wow…" Hinamori shook her head. "You two are that mad at each other."

"We don't talk anymore, all we do is yell at one another," Rukia breathed as she bowed her head. "When we look at each other, there's nothing there. I just want us to be how we used to be."

"I guess you'll never know until you take the first step," Hinamori breathed.

Rukia closed her eyes as she thought about what Hinamori had said. She knew that everything that she said was true. She knew that she was the one who had to take the first step. She had to be there for Renji.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked toward the door as he thought of the words that Iba had said to him, war was starting to brew in the world that was around him. As he took those few steps forward, he felt the fear roll through his body. The raging power of war was once again going to take over the Soul Society; there was nothing that he could do to stop that. Now to make matters worse, he now was going to be one of the men that they had chosen to lead all of these men to their deaths. The scar on his heart started to ache just thinking about what Ukitake had wanted.

As he walked through the halls of the 1st Division, he saw eyes upon him. They all knew, Hisagi Shuuhei didn't walk into the captain commander's division without a reason. They knew that he was one of the men who was going to war, all of their stares looking at him as if he were already dead. He closed his eyes tightly as he tried not to look at them. He didn't want to know what was going to happen to him. He didn't want to think about what would happen in this war if he were to die, how would that affect the whole Gotei 13? They had lost the 9th Division captain before, but without a lieutenant to assume control the whole division would cave in.

He then reached the entrance as Ukitake was sitting at the end of a long room. Hisagi stared at the captain commander, his body unable to move as he looked at him. The more he tried, the less that he could even get the command of moving across to his body in shock. He looked deeper at the captain commander, his heart stopping as the stare intensified.

"Hisagi-kun," Ukitake announced. "You came…"

"I did," Hisagi choked.

"I guess Iba-fukutaichou told you what this was about," Ukitake sighed as he looked at how scared the captain was. "I guess there's very little I can do about the fear that's going through your body right now. The power of war does do that to a person."

"So we _are_ at war?"

Ukitake nodded. "We will be."

"And you want me to run your army?" Hisagi asked.

"I do," Ukitake closed his eyes. "This is where you convince me why you shouldn't go…"

Hisagi took no time to try to get out of this. "You and I both know that there are at least two divisions that don't like me. They can't stand me!"

"It's up to three," Ukitake answered. "The 11th, 12th, and _2__nd_ think you're a danger to society…"

"How can you expect them to listen to me when I have the heart of our greatest enemy in my chest? They think I could turn on them. They tihkn that I want to hurt them. What can you do to get that fear out of their bodies?" Hisagi shook his head. "You can't send me!"

"Why?"

"I told you why!"

"No you told me why _they _don't want you to go, why don't you want to go?" Ukitake looked at the captain. "Tell me…"

"I… I…" Hisagi closed his eyes, he couldn't think of anything.

"I know: Hinamori-kun and Kira-kun," Hisagi looked up at him. "You know how upset they were when you ran off and got yourself killed; you don't want to put them through that again. You know how sensitive Kira is to the subject of you dying. You know he'll hate you if you do it again…"

Hisagi closed his eyes. "He has good reason to…"

"Hisagi-kun, Kira-kun cares deeply about you. You broke his heart when you almost died," Ukitake sighed. "But I think that you know how to keep your fat out of the fire. I think you can defend yourself; after all you do have two zanpakutou. Back when you were almost killed you only had Kazeshini, now you have Kyouka Suigetsu as well. Together, those two are unstoppable."

Hisagi closed his eyes as he heard those words. "When are you going to announce this?"

"I'm going to tell everyone about the war tonight, but in a week I will tell everyone about what captains I am going to send. You have a week to come to grips with this," Ukitake sighed as he leaned back in his chair. "Unless you don't want to take the position."

Hisagi closed his eyes as he thought of the words that were being said to him. Three divisions didn't trust him; the number was only going to get higher as he saw the 8th start to lose its faith in him as well. This was his chance to finally get his trust back or die trying. He thought of everything that he was going to lose if he did die, he would lose both Kira and Hinamori, and the 9th Division would lose their only commanding officer. He looked up at Ukitake to see the hope that had helped Kira get himself back on his feet. Everything that he had known his best friend for started within those eyes. He could trust him. He then gave Ukitake his answer.

"Yes," Hisagi bowed his head. "I accept your offer."

He then closed his eyes as the captain commander's words started to fill his ears. It was just like the day with Yamamoto; he had gotten something from the captain commander that he knew that he did not deserve. He closed his eyes tighter as he thought about what a ruckus he had started in this world. This was what his life was for, to risk it to finally show everyone Aizen no longer existed within him. He was Hisagi Shuuhei.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Rukia looked out the window, her eyes falling on the setting sun as he tried to catch her breath. Renji was sitting at the desk working diligently, trying his hardest to file as many of the division's reports as possible. They never talked these days; they never even looked at each other for the most part. Whenever she looked at him, all she could think about was that yesterday, the day when she proved herself unworthy to be his fiancée, the day when she knew that the fact would soon be out that she could not bear children. But somehow the words that Hinamori had said to her were still rolling through her head. She didn't have to give up, she had to keep trying. She had to be there for Renji.

"Rukia," Renji called out, taking her attention from the window, this was the first time in a long time he didn't have any trace of alcohol in his words. "What's going on with you? Ever since you experienced that accident you haven't been able to look at me…"

She looked at him, seeing a longing in his eyes to be with her. He didn't know. How could he? She had kept it so secret that nobody needed to know that the two of them had lost their first child. She looked at him and knew that he was feeling estranged, that she was isolating him.

She looked at the dark circles under his eyes as the smell of liquor and anger filled the air. She was slowly loosing him, watching as he drowned in a pool of his own self pity, his depression skyrocketing. As she looked at the man that had once said that he loved her more than anything, she knew that love was starting to die. Just like Renji himself the love that they shared was drowning in its sorrow and all she could do was watch.

"I'm sorry…" she breathed, not wanting to look at the pain that was rolling through his body.

"Rukia," he stood up and walked toward her. "You're driving me crazy! You know that, right? You are driving me up the fucking wall. First you act like you don't care about me, then after an accident you act like I don't exist. What's going on?"

She closed her eyes. "You wouldn't understand…"

He laughed as he heard that response. "Iba-san is right… everyone was right… there _is_ another man isn't there?"

Her heart stopped as she heard him say that. "What did you just say?"

"I heard about you and Ukitake-soutaichou. How you spent most of the night with him," he shook his head. "That would explain why you flinch whenever I come near you, why you never want to look me in the eye. You've fallen in love with him, haven't you?" he shook his head. "How long did you think you could keep it secret?"

"There's no one else… Ukitake-soutaichou? You were the one who started that?" she breathed as she looked into his eyes. "There are things going on in my life that you will never understand, things that I don't want you to understand."

"I'm _always_ the bad guy. You're always the one they sympathize with and I'm always the one who did something wrong. I don't want you to look at me like that; I don't want you to look right through me. I'm right here, Rukia, I'm right in front of you," his voice started to break as his emotions started taking him over. "I've been through Hell to be by your side! I've sacrificed so much just to get you to _glance_ at me! The least you could do is look at me…"

"Don't talk to me like that," Rukia scoffed.

"I can't help it. I'm going out of my mind, I could potentially have a breakdown if I haven't had one already," he whimpered, his body starting to shake with every word that he said. "I want you to look at me just once…"

She looked at him and saw his rust colored eyes watering before her. Everything that they had been through together ran through her mind as she looked at him. All of the pain, all of the harsh times, none of it mattered as she looked at him. The day when she lost his child disappeared as she reached out to touch his hand, feeling it tremble in her clutch. The tears of heartbreak that were forming in his eyes disappeared as she held onto his hand tighter, looking deep into his eyes.

Renji was dying in front of her; she had grown so numb to him that she couldn't even feel the beating of his heart. As she felt the warmth of his hand, tears came back to her eyes. All of the years that she had shut herself off from him still ached within her soul, yet she was going to do it again after she had been through so much to get herself to look at him again. As she looked at him, she knew that she could no longer throw him away. She was in love with him.

His arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly as her eyes started to water, her heart was breaking every moment that went by. She held onto him tighter as she thought about what she had lost that day, he was the only part of that day that still remained in her life and she was throwing him away. Everything that they had gone through, all of the moments that they shared weren't worth them losing it all.

She then felt as she was moved from the floor, to the desk, his lips falling up against hers as she started to push at the haori. She was no longer thinking, all she could think of was that day when she thought that she was worthless, but seeing that glint of joy within Renji's eyes changed everything for her. She no longer wanted to push him away; she wanted him so much closer.

"Wait Rukia," Renji moaned as his haori hit the ground, feeling her fingers start to undo his keikogi. He moved to kiss harsher up against her lips, feeling her tremble beneath his passionate force, fueling the lust deeper. "Don't you want to talk about this first?"

Rukia shook her head as she looked into her fiancée's eyes. "We can talk about this later, taichou," a smile rolled across his lips as she said those words. "Right now I need you…"

As her hakama hit the ground she opened her legs to allow him to slip in between them, using her hands to guide his arousal into her. She moaned with every second that passed by, feeling his skin on her skin, the warmth of his breath on her body. She closed her eyes tightly as she felt the electricity pulse through her body, her hands moving to grasp at his body. As she relished in the sensations, she closed her eyes tightly, for the first time in the longest time she was finally able to let go of all of the heartache and she saw able to experience the joy and love that she did have.

She threw her head back as she felt the pleasure boil inside of her, listening to the harshness of her fiancé's breath with every moment, every movement. Her body trembled as she was overcome with a combination of joy and elation, her pulse starting to skyrocket.

"Renji," she breathed as he hand on his shoulder tightened, hearing purr coming from his lips as the papers continued to fall of the desk as their lovemaking intensified. "I…" it was difficult for her to say the words, as if she had forgotten how after all of the years that had passed. "I love you…"

As she whispered those words she could feel all of the tension that was between them start to float way, the dark clouds clearing as she could finally be true to her heart and stop holding back after all of the days of sorrow. At this tender moment where he was so close to her, she was finally able to release herself from the darkness. Abarai Renji was always going to be her sunrise.

"I love you… Renji…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Hisagi walked through the door of the 9th Division to see Kira sitting at the desk staring straight at him. "I was wondering when you'd get back."

The 9th Division captain gasped as he looked at Kira. "Oh Kira, you scared me a little… I didn't expect to see you at my desk."

Hisagi looked into Kira's eyes as he remembered the look within them the night when they went their separate ways, the night where Kira had begged him not to die. The same sadness that was present that night came back to Kira's eyes as Hisagi thought about the day when Ukitake would tell everyone that was going on in Hueco Mundo and who they were going to send to battle, he looked deeper into his eyes as he knew that very glance was going to haunt him until he died.

"I heard you want to Ukitake-sama's," Kira breathed.

"Yeah, we were talking about lieutenants," Hisagi looked into Kira's eyes as his heart started to break. "Listen… I haven't been the best friend that you want lately. I've done so much bad shit to you…"

"I'm glad you did, you saved me from making a mistake…" Kira breathed as he looked into Hisagi's eyes. "I did hear you that day. At first I was angry, I really wanted to lash out at you. But when I look at Hinamori-kun, she looks so happy. Even if he really did love her, who would I be if I wanted to deny her the happiness that she deserves so much? I know that you hate yourself for that, but Hisagi-san you shouldn't hate yourself if I can't hate you. You're my best friend, no matter what; you'll always be my best friend."

Hisagi sighed as he walked closer to Kira. "After all that I've done behind your back… you can forgive me? You're too kind, Kira. I would have castrated the person who did that to me."

Kira laughed as he looked at Hisagi. "I guess it's because I love you, Hisagi-san," Hisagi turned to him in shock. "You're the best man I've ever known and you're always going to be near and dear to my heart. I'm sorry if that sounded too gay."

Hisagi smiled as he snickered. "It's alright, I love you too… in a totally platonic way."

Hisagi looked at Kira as he thought of the moments that had been occurring throughout the day. He couldn't tell him, he wanted to but as he looked at him, all he could see was sorrow. He closed his eyes as he realized that he had everything to lose and so little to gain. As he looked at Kira he saw that night repeating itself over and over again. In those eyes, he saw the end of his life. In those eyes he saw his soul starting to die. In those eyes he saw the end of Kira. Everything was coming to an end.

* * *

This chapter put a close to the Renji x Rukia problem, it all worked out. It also put an end to the feud between Hisagi and Kira as Kira has come to more of a handle on his homosexuality. But there is more in store. What of Yumichika and Ikkaku? And what of Hisagi going to war? How will these two subjects come to an end?

The next chapter there will be a get together where the war will be announced and Hisagi will finally tell Hinamori about the draft.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request. See profile for details.

Feel free to review as well, I take all comments to heart and appreciate what you have to say.


	11. Chapter 11

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Hisagi/Kira, slight Ikkaku/ Yumichika, refererences to Renji x Rukia  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, strong language, some other sexual references, slight homosexuality, and references to: violence, death, and war. There are also a few errors in here, thank you for putting up with that.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

"Madarame Ikkaku has been spending a lot of time in this building," Kuchiki announced as he ran a brush though his hair, looking in a mirror. "Any reason for that?"

Yumichika started blankly at the reflection of his captain as he heard those words. He didn't want to think about the moment that he had shared with that man. The passion of that moment had taken him over; it had possessed him until there was nothing left, and in that low moment he had acted on all of the frustration and emotion within his body. That moment was a moment that he had wished to forget. He could never walk down that path that he had walked down before. He could never be the man that Ikkaku wanted him to be.

"He's just bothering me," Yumichika sighed.

"We you don't have to worry about that tonight, only captains and lieutenants are allowed to go to the gala that Ukitake has planned. Something about this doesn't make me feel safe. Ukitake-dono isn't the type to just randomly celebrate accomplishments. Something huge is happening…"

"Whatever it is, did wish to speak to Hisagi-taichou yesterday, about what I don't know, but he's been acting tense since this morning. Something has to do with Hisagi-taichou, but I don't know what it is," Yumichika explained as he looked at his captain. "You seem unusually chipper these days. I thought nobility was all about structure."

"Nobility is only a word, Yumichika. My whole clan has been trying to run me out of power for a while now. They think that I'm trying to sully our clan until it's all mud. You send a mutt into a room full of purebreds and there's sure to be a fight."

Yumichika looked at his captain; he saw something within him that he had never seen within anyone in the 11th Division. Kuchiki Byakuya was beautiful, his ivory skin resembling porcelain, untouched by even the might of the sun, his long black hair was pristine, not a single strand out of place. As he looked at his captain, he saw the differences between the 11th and 6th Divisions. The 11th Division was gruff and hasty; the 6th Division was more reserved. Was this the feeling that Renji had experienced when he was promoted to lieutenant? As he looked at Kuchiki Byakuya he was feeling emancipated, he had been saved from the fires.

"Are you alright just letting everything go?" Kuchiki asked, breaking Yumichika out of his thoughts.

"Why not? They let me go pretty easily, why shouldn't I feel the same way?" Yumichika asked.

"Because it's hard, knowing something so well, and then in an instant when everyone's looking at you it all changes. You will always long for those old stares, those old words that were said to you. You long for something that reminds you that you're… alive, that you can still breathe," Kuchiki looked up at Yumichika. "Something to prove that you still feel."

"You make it sound hard to adjust."

"It's always going to be hard, when you lose what you were and have to start all over again," Kuchiki breathed as he turned back to the mirror. "Remember that…"

Yumichika closed his eyes as he thought of the words that his captain had just said to him. Everything had changed for him; he walked down the streets and didn't get the same looks that he had always wanted to get. Everyone was looking at him like he wasn't even real anymore. The only one who looked at him the same was Ikkaku; he was the only one who linked him to reality. Ikkaku reminded him that he was still breathing; he reminded him that he was still alive. As he looked at his captain, he understood what he was trying to say, and as he looked at himself in the mirror he saw what had happened to him.

His beauty had faded over the course of time that he had spent in the 6th Division, he had become lifeless as he left the 11th Division behind, and as he looked at the captain again, he knew that he had noticed the changes in the man as well. Yumichika used to only care about beauty, but he though that they had killed that Yumichika. As he thought of what had happened to him, he closed his eyes tightly. He had buried himself alive.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"I've noticed you've been around the 6th Division lately," Zaraki announced as he watched Ikkaku walk by him. "Any reason for that?"

Ikkaku closed his eyes as he realized that his captain had caught on to what had been occurring between him and Yumichika. All of this time he had forgotten that his captain had been noticing what had been occurring in his own division. The 3rd Seat had been running off taking odd missions that he used to never take like delivering paperwork and blowing off missions that he used to have gladly taken. These days, Ikkaku had been a different person, and although his captain was not a genius, he was not dense.

"Just delivering papers…"

"Isn't that trash there?" Zaraki asked. "I hear that he's the lieutenant."

"I guess," Ikkaku answered.

"Yumichika's really lucky that that panty-waist is so hell-bent on going through the trash, otherwise he would have been dead by now," the 11th Division captain explained.

Ikkaku never understood how his captain could speak so coldly over someone. He was never like this before the new captains were promoted. But as Ikkaku thought about what had occurred, he knew why. Zaraki hated Hisagi Shuuhei. When he looked at Hisagi all he saw was the weak lieutenant who had bossed his division around, the man who now had Aizen's heart in his chest. A lot of people no longer trusted Hisagi, all they saw was the man that Ichimaru had killed that day. They saw the second coming of Aizen Sousuke, a case that Kurotsuchi Mayuri had been trying to prove since the surgery had been complete.

Tonight was the night when all of the higher officials would gather, Ikkaku knew that Zaraki's attention would never break off of Hisagi, that man was an abomination that had to pay for the curse that he had plagued this world with. He had to die for his sins. Ikkaku sighed as he knew that his friend was going to be safe.

"So what is tonight about?" Ikkaku asked.

"Probably something to do with that beast that they call Hisagi Shuuhei," Zaraki sighed as he stood up. "The last thing that we want is to push him any higher throughout the ranks. That's why I have no choice but to be involved in the society that Ukitake has created."

Ikkaku closed his eyes as he realized that even after the death of Aizen, they had gotten nowhere. They were always going to live as if they were at war, but this war had no enemy they could vanquish. This was a war within themselves.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Soi Fong!" Hisagi cried out as he watched the 2nd Division captain walking with her lieutenant. The captain looked at him with a look of annoyance and boredom. She didn't care for Hisagi, that's what Ukitake had said to him.

The whole world was starting to turn against him; he had nowhere to go to escape it. Everyday he looked around predicting who was going to be the next to turn on him. Kurotsuchi had wanted to kill him from the beginning, Zaraki wanted to kill him the second the surgery was complete, Soi Fong was the most recent one to turn on him. He had watched the other captains, watching the way that they looked at him. Ukitake was never going to turn on him; he was going to try to protect him. He also new that Hinamori would always stay loyal to him as she had fallen in love with him months ago. Kira and Renji also wouldn't turn on him as they wanted so much to keep him alive. He also knew that Komamura and Kuchiki wouldn't want to kill him as they saw the chance of an Aizen takeover very slim. And if Unohana turned against him an outcry would fill the whole Soul Society, she was the one who put Aizen inside of his chest.

However Kyouraku and Hitsugaya were different stories. Kyouraku looked at him like he was unsafe, like he could explode at any moment. The 8th Division captain never cared much for Hisagi and only put up with him because Ukitake did. Hitsugaya never thought that it was a smart idea to save Hisagi's life in that method from the start. Now if it wasn't for Matsumoto begging him to reconsider, he would have turned on Hisagi a long time ago. But he also wanted to keep Hinamori's heart in one piece. The second that Ukitake and Hinamori weren't in the picture, he knew that his life was going to change for the worst.

"What do you want?" Soi Fong asked, judging by the tone of her voice, Ukitake was right.

"I heard that you've recently turned on me."

"I'm surprised more haven't. When Tousen gave you possession of Kyouka Suigetsu, I always had this feeling that you were going to destroy life as we all know it. You have more power than you should, Hisagi-taichou," Soi Fong answered.

"This is about Kyouka Suigetsu?"

"This is about the safety of this whole society. If Aizen ever got his hands on you…"

"Aizen's dead," Hisagi interrupted. "Or did you miss the part where they took his heart out of his chest?"

"I didn't miss anything. Do you know how much of him is within you? We don't know what he did right before he died. You could have Aizen inside of you just waiting to strike," Soi Fong explained as she looked into his eyes.

"Talking to Kyouraku? You're starting to talk crazy."

"Kyouraku has reasons for doubts," Soi Fong breathed. "You know that he's against you, right? You know that he wants to cut that heart out of your chest and burn it."

"What's stopping him?" Hisagi asked as he closed his eyes tightly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"We discussed this at a meeting before," Soi Fong answered, watching Hisagi's eyes close. "You were in the 4th Division…"

"You take habit of talking about me like I'm not alive?" Hisagi asked as his voice started to break. "And you're on that side? Goddamn it!" he started to walk away. "Damn it!"

"I never said I was on that side," Soi Fong breathed as Hisagi stopped. "I just don't feel safe. I proposed that we let you act as a captain as usual. But the second that any danger ensues we are to detain you, and we are to try to find a solution. I never wanted to kill you. Kurotsuchi and Zaraki are the ones who want to kill you right now. Kyouraku and I want to wait."

"Wait for what?"

"By the time Aizen takes you over, Hisagi Shuuhei will be dead. You will be Aizen Sousuke, you'll be gone forever," Soi Fong shook her head. "I know that one day it'll happen, but right now we can't be sure when."

"You know it's going to happen?"

"We have to assume the worst."

Hisagi closed his eyes tightly as he realized that this was a curse from day one, there was very little he could do to stop this curse from happening. He was doomed to execution the second that Unohana and Ukitake put that heart in his chest, and now with every beat, he felt his body start to shutter as he knew that he was going to die. He looked at Soi Fong as he felt a sensation of disgust within his body.

"I won't let them kill you," Soi Fong breathed, Hisagi's body freezing at the sound of those words. "While you are still Hisagi Shuuhei, I won't let anyone lay a finger on you. While you are still within that body I will protect you… I don't support you fully, but I understand that you are still alive."

"Tell that to the rest of them…" Hisagi scoffed.

"Only Kurotsuchi and Zaraki want to kill you, everyone else thinks that you are worth more than that," Soi Fong explained. "We won't let anyone hurt you, unless they want another civil war."

Hisagi nodded as he heard those words. The blood of the civil war still raced through the Soul Society as they looked back on the day when Ukitake and Kira were attacked. But this time it would be different, it would be over him.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"Do you think it's wise to send Hisagi to Hueco Mundo?" Kyouraku asked as he watched Ukitake put his haori on. "You know what dangers that could cause."

Ukitake shook his head. "He's not Aizen, Kyouraku. He's still Hisagi-kun, and as long as he is Hisagi-kun I'm going to trust him."

Kyouraku shook his head as he heard Ukitake say that. Right now he was Hisagi, the next moment he could be Aizen, or he could reinstate what Aizen used to be. Hisagi was the last living component of Aizen; he was the last piece that could bring him back to life. When Kyouraku looked at the 9th division captain, all he saw was chaos, the end of the Soul Society. He made him feel uneasy.

"When are you going to stop worrying about that?" Ukitake asked.

"The day when I know that Aizen can't come back, last time he came here, he killed Yama-jii and almost killed me and Byakuya. I don't know if I trust that power just gallivanting around the Soul Society without supervision," Kyouraku shook his head. "He needs a lieutenant."

"To help him with papers?" Ukitake asked. "He's self-sufficient."

"No, to guard him, he's Aizen bait," Kyouraku answered as he took a step toward the captain commander. "Hisagi Shuuhei needs a strong lieutenant who can at least put a scratch on Aizen at forty percent power. Juushirou, aren't you scared of what that boy can do to this place. He could destroy it with a snap of his fingers."

"He won't!" Ukitake shook his head, frustration in his voice. "If you want to kill him, go talk to Kurotsuchi and Zaraki, I don't have time for your schemes. I don't have time for these conspiracy theories. All I have time for is keeping the peace."

"And you think that we'll be at peace. Ichimaru Gin and Tousen Kaname have both said that there's a chance that Aizen isn't dead! Do you want to take that chance?" Kyouraku asked, watching Ukitake stand up. "You're putting Hisagi in danger."

"And killing him will save him?"

"It'll save his pride," Kyouraku answered, watching Ukitake walk toward the door. "Do you want him to have the same fate as Shiba Kaien?"

Kyouraku watched as Ukitake froze at those words. Kaien died with only an ounce of his pride as his body was taken over by a hollow. Kyouraku knew that Ukitake could see the connection between Kaien and Hisagi as Hisagi was going to lose his life to Aizen if he ever did resurrect. The pain that was going through the captain commander went through Kyouraku as they knew that day would soon come.

"What do you think we should do?" Kyouraku asked.

"We'll know when it happens. Right now nothing is wrong with him. He's still Hisagi-kun, and I'll be damned if I lose that," he looked away from Kyouraku. "I approved the surgery that made him like that; I'm the one who allowed him to become the way that he is. He's not going to die, not as long as I'm alive."

As Ukitake walked out of the door, Kyouraku knew that what he had just said may happen sooner than they all had hoped.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"You seem to have gotten along just fine since Tousen left," Komamura breathed as he watched Hisagi walk away from Soi Fong. "You're already acting like an experienced captain."

"Well if I show any fear then they'll eat you alive, right?" Hisagi asked as he looked at the 7th Division captain. "Besides I have to work twice as hard so that they all understand I'm not the coming of the Apocalypse."

"Given the choice between living and dying what would you have chosen?" Komamura asked as he looked into the other captain's eyes, Hisagi tensing at the question. "Would you have chosen to have Aizen's heart?"

Hisagi shook his head. "I don't know. Part of me is thankful that I'm alive; I never wanted to cause Hinamori or Kira any pain whatsoever. I never wanted them to suffer throughout my actions. Yet there is another part of me," he closed his eyes tightly, "who wanted to die that day. This isn't the way that I wanted to live; this isn't the way that I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Watching as everyone starts to turn on me. Sooner or later it's going to be Kira who's leading my execution."

"To execute you, we will need a majority of the Gotei 13 captains to agree. You have a majority on your side, and you're going to convince them that you aren't supposed to die. You aren't Aizen Sousuke, you're Hisagi Shuuhei…" Komamura answered, watching Hisagi look away as Zaraki entered the room. "Ignore him…"

"Have you heard what he wants to do to me?" Hisagi asked. "He wants to kill me."

"He's not going to lay a hand on you," Komamura breathed as he looked at Zaraki. "None of these men are going to lay a single finger on you."

Hisagi shook his head until his attention was drawn to the next captain who walked through the door, Abarai Renji looked different. Over the past few days Renji had always looked depressed, alcoholism taking over his life. Tonight he looked different, he looked reborn. All of the drama that was occurring between he and Rukia was gone, in that moment, Hisagi knew that the Kuchiki Clan would have to back off.

"Abarai looks happy," Komamura said.

Hisagi looked deeper into Renji's eyes as he saw him start to engage in conversation with Kira. Both Kira and Renji had pulled themselves out of their depression well Hisagi was still looking at their backs as they walked miles ahead of him. As they were gaining happiness, he only fell deeper into his own sadness. As he looked around the room, he knew that so many of these men would hate him by the end of the year. It had been almost five months since his surgery, the surgery that was going to cost him his life. He closed his eyes tighter as he knew that it was only a matter of time before they all wanted him dead.

"Are you alright, Hisagi?" Komamura asked.

Hisagi shook his head. "I don't feel very well," he answered as he started to walk away, toward the door to finally go outside and get some fresh air.

As he stood outside, he closed his eyes tightly. Tousen wanted to save his life. Tousen wanted Hisagi to keep on living, but he knew as long as he had this heart in his chest, he would never be able to. His life was over before it even began; he was nothing more than a dying ember of what his life used to be. He used to be strong, people used to praise him, now all they saw was the second coming of Aizen. He closed his eyes tightly as he put a hand over his chest; he was doomed to be like this.

"Are you alright?" a voice called out as he heard footsteps come closer to him. "I've never seen you move so fast before…"

Hisagi turned around, his heart stopping as he looked into those eyes. He felt his body start to shake as he looked at Kira Izuru standing before him, tears starting to form in his eyes as he thought of how he was to hurt him again. His body shook harsher as Kira came closer.

"You've been acting strangely…" Kira breathed.

"I haven't been feeling well…" Hisagi answered with a smile, trying his hardest to fake one. "I just needed some fresh air."

Kira walked closer to Hisagi looking into the night sky. "The stars are beautiful tonight…"

"Yes… yes they are…" Hisagi breathed as he looked at Kira, watching the man turn to look into his eyes. "The stars are about the only thing that is beautiful tonight. Everything else is such a mess."

"That's not true…" Kira breathed. "I think that you're beautiful tonight."

"Flattery… will get you no where, Kira," Hisagi sighed.

"You can tell me what's wrong…" Kira looked into Hisagi's eyes, Hisagi's body tensing. "I don't like seeing you like this. It pains me to know that you're going through something so difficult and you won't let me in on it. You don't have to go through it on your own, I'm here…"

The next moment was something that Hisagi Shuuhei wished that he could take back. At that moment, he felt Kira's lips press up against his, moving passionately against his. Hisagi closed his eyes as he fell into the kiss, running a hand through Kira's blond hair, feeling the 3rd Division captain start to move closer to his body, as his arms wrapped around him tighter. A single purr bubbled from Hisagi's lips as he felt Kira's tongue pass his lips. The kiss was enjoyable, until something brought them back to Earth.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" a voice called out, it was Renji.

"Abarai!" Hisagi called out as he pushed Kira away, the 3rd Division captain, trembling as he saw what was occurring. "Abarai… let me explain what's going on before you blow it out of proportion…"

Renji shook his head. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he looked straight at Hisagi.

Hisagi closed his eyes tightly as he shook his head. "I don't know, I don't know…" he walked by Renji as he looked back at Kira. "I'm so sorry, Kira…"

Kira looked up at Hisagi as he started to run away. "Isai-san!"

"Don't follow me…" Hisagi begged as he disappeared into the main room.

Everything was starting to become blurry as he walked deeper into the room, feeling as though all eyes were on him, all of them even more disgusted with him than they were before. He closed his eyes as he heard Komamura's voice call out to him, looking around at the other captain feeling everyone else looking at him, their words going through his body as they scowled at him.

He looked up at the 7th Division captain who had a look of concern on his face. "What's wrong?"

"Where's Hinamori?" he asked as he looked around the room. "I have something to tell her."

0o0o0o0o0o0

"What just happened?" Renji asked as he looked at Kira. "You know damn well that Hisagi-san and Hinamori are together now. What the hell did you do that for?"

Kira closed his eyes tightly as he thought back to their kiss. Did he regret it? He thought back to the feeling of Hisagi's body so close to his, those lips up against his as he felt that harsh breathing roll through his body. He could still smell Hisagi's scent as he took every breath, that purr still within his ears as he thought back to that moment. Did he regret it? He could never; it was the most beautiful moment of his life.

"It felt right."

"Don't tell me you still have that crush on Hisagi-san. I thought you got rid of that when you met Ichimaru. And you got rid of that when you got closer to Ukitake-soutaichou. What are you trying to do?" Renji asked. "What are you trying to do? Are you trying to break Hinamori's heart?"

"Hasn't something ever felt right to you? I mean, you and Rukia, you feel right together, don't you?" Kira asked, his voice shaking. "That kiss… it felt right. When I looked into his eyes and I just couldn't control myself… I couldn't…"

Renji shook his head. "You know how the Soul Society is going to look at this. The 3rd Division Captain can't make up his mind and leaves Hinamori for Hisagi."

Kira closed his eyes as he heard those words, something rolling deep inside his body. Those words from Renji's lips started something deep inside of him, something that he wasn't going to stop. He was going to prove to everyone that it wasn't true. He was going to prove to himself that he didn't need Hisagi Shuuhei.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"What is this all about?" Hinamori asked as they walked into one of the corridors away from everyone else. "What's going on, Shuuhei?"

He looked into her eyes and all he saw was the pain that the war was going to cause her. He was going to go die, he was going to give everything up just to prove that he was better than Aizen. As he looked into her eyes he saw the tears that were about to roll down her cheeks as she knew what was going to happen. But what she didn't know was what happened with Kira, she could never know that.

"You know what this get together is about, don't you?" Hisagi asked as he walked away from her, not looking at her, not being able to look at her.

"Yeah, the upcoming war…" she breathed. "What's wrong with that?"

He looked at her; he wanted to tell her everything. He wanted to tell her about how Aizen was the only thing that everyone; he wanted to tell her about how he had no dignity left. He wanted to tell her about the kiss with Kira. He wanted to tell her about all of the pain that he was going through, but as he looked at her, he couldn't find the words to say, he couldn't find the strength to talk to her about it.

"Two captains are to lead the troops in Hueco Mundo," he swallowed hard. "I'm one of those two captains."

He looked into her eyes, watching them start to glisten with tears as she looked deeper into his eyes. She moved closer, her arms wrapping around him, his skin starting to crawl as he thought about Kira's hands all over him. He had enjoyed that kiss too much. It made him wonder if he could ever enjoy being with Hinamori again. As he heard her start to cry in his arms he closed his eyes tightly.

"I know you probably hate me, but I have to do it."

"Why? Why you? There are twelve other captains who can go."

"This is my chance to get everything that I lost back. I can come back a hero."

"Or you could die like a dog," she whimpered as she moved closer to him. "I don't want you to go, we can do something else. We can find another way to get your respect back."

"I'm afraid, there is no other way," he whispered. "I'm sorry…"

She looked deep into his eyes as she said the next words, every syllable going deep through his body. "Then stay with me right now. Stay here with me… while you still can…"

He closed his eyes tightly at what she had just said, but he obliged her request, but the thought of Kira kept rolling through his mind as he remembered that kiss, his body shuddering as he realized that he could get by that, he had to get by that. He couldn't look at Kira that way, and he could never tell Hinamori of what had happened: never.

* * *

This chapter had some Hisagi/Kira but they are going to be important to the ending. I hope that pairing doesn't upset anyone as it is going to be mentioned for the rest of the story and a possible sequel that I have for this.

This is also the first appearance of Soi Fong, she will also become more important later on.

The next chapter is going to continue during the rest of the get together and the war will finally be announced as well as the second captain who is going to war being revealed to the audience. This story is really winding down.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

Feel free to review.

The next chapter will be up sooner.


	12. Chapter 12

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Hisagi/Kira, Renji x Rukia, a reference to Aizen/Ichimaru  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, strong language, some sexual references, slight homosexuality, and references to: violence, death, and war. There are also a few errors in here, but I actually read through this chapter.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does.

* * *

Kira walked back into the room as he could still taste Hisagi's lips on his, feeling his body so close to his. He walked deeper into the room as he knew that he wasn't going to be able to shake that feeling from him. He did have a crush on Hisagi once upon a time; he used to think that he was the greatest man that he would ever meet in his life. He grew out of that, or so he thought. Now as he looked at Hisagi Shuuhei he knew that he never moved on from that. He was always going to have feelings for him.

He looked around the room, seeing that Hisagi was nowhere in sight, he was no doubt with Hinamori after the kiss had thrown him off guard. Kira closed his eyes tightly as he realized that no matter what he did, he wasn't going to be able to get over the men that he had fallen in love with. He was going to have to make due with what life had dealt him. He closed his eyes as he thought of all of the pain that he had gone through.

"You look lost," Ukitake smiled as he walked up to Kira.

"Ukitake-sensei," he breathed as he looked into his sensei's eyes.

Ukitake looked deeper into the captain's eyes. "I take it Hisagi-kun told you, didn't he?"

"Told me what?" Kira asked as he looked into his teacher's eyes, his heart racing.

"That he's going to war…"

Kira froze in place as he heard those words, his heart stopped as he looked into the distance. That night went through his head again, the last moment where he felt Hisagi's heart beating in his chest. All of the sensations, all of the feelings from the night were coming back to him as he took in the words that Ukitake was saying to him. His body froze as he scanned the room for Hisagi, his eyes not finding him. He slowly felt the man falling away from him as those words echoed in his head.

"I didn't know we were at war," Kira answered.

"We have to stop Hueco Mundo."

Kira looked around the room more fiercely as he heard those words one more time. "And what is he to do?"

"Lead the men that I will send."

Kira kept searching the room, his vision clouding as he remembered Hinamori's screams that night. The sound still sent chills down his spine as he remembered hearing Iba's stories of what had happened that night. All of the details of Suzumushi going through Hisagi's chest, missing his spinal cord by only mere centimeters crossed Kira's mind again as he remembered walking into the 4th division that day. He was so close to losing him. Now it was the same feeling all over again. He was going to lose him and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"When does he leave?" Kira asked, his eyes starting to glisten.

"In around six weeks, why?" Ukitake asked.

"I was just curious," Kira breathed as he kept looking around the room, as if finding Hisagi was going to be a life or death situation.

He looked at Ukitake, trying to hide the venom in his eyes. This man was going to take Hisagi away from him. Ukitake was the one who was sending Hisagi to his death. As Kira looked at Ukitake, his body started to shake as he realized that although he was selfish, although Hisagi was needed in the war, he knew that he would sacrifice himself for him. Kira would go in Hisagi's place if needed. He would stop this.

"You seem upset about this," Ukitake breathed as he watched Kira's movements. "He didn't tell you did he?"

Kira didn't answer that, he didn't think that he had to. All that he could think about was the man who had tried to keep this secret from him. He had seen him two times already today and he didn't even think to tell him once. Kira closed his eyes tightly as he felt the pain roll through his body. Hisagi was always going to think of his reputation and name first and then everyone else second. Hisagi Shuuhei had resulted in becoming a man who needed a name to hide his flaws behind, but his name was scorned with scars. Kira only saw as Hisagi's soul died as eyes fell upon him, everyday reflected those months before Tousen almost killed him, it was the same way. Kira closed his eyes as he felt a tear roll down his right cheek, his body starting to shake as he took a deep breath.

"I guess it's an honor, to die for this society."

Kira walked away, his heart starting to break as he heard those words rolling throughout his mind. His heart was slowly breaking as he thought of months later when they finally returned what is fate was to be. Hisagi Shuuhei would most likely be dead. He closed his eyes as a single sob passed his lips, walking closer to the exit as he looked at all of the captains looking upon him, Renji's eyes lighting up as he watched him walk bay.

"Kira!" he yelled as he walked toward him. "Kira! Are you alright?"

"Don't follow me, Abarai-kun," Kira begged. "Please, don't follow me."

"What's wrong?" Renji asked as he looked at Kira. "What did Ukitake-soutaichou say to you?"

Kira shook his head as he said one word. "Hisagi-san…" he shook his head. "I'm sorry…"

As Kira walked out of the room, he could feel the look of hate on Renji's face as he said the words "Hisagi-san." Kira had no time to go back as he felt the tears finally roll down his face and a harsh cry pass his lips. Everything was over. Hisagi was going to die. And now Kira felt like none of it mattered. Fate had been sealed.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Renji walked back into the room, walking up to Kuchiki, seeing the captain look back at him. "Have you seen Hisagi?"

Kuchiki shook his head as he looked at Renji. "No, why?"

"No reason…"

Renji walked through the room, remembering the look that was on Kira's face as he walked out of the room. Hisagi had done something. Hisagi was like a god to Kira and he had done something to break the delicate balance that was between them. Renji kept walking through the room, looking for Hisagi, desperately trying to figure out what he had done. Everything took a different route as he watched Hinamori walk back into the room from a corridor. Hisagi was in that corridor. Faster than Renji could even think he walked down the corridor to see Hisagi standing there.

"I need to talk to you…" Renji hissed.

Hisagi looked at him with confused eyes, "Now? What about?"

"What the hell did you do to him?" Renji asked.

"Who? What are you talking about?" Hisagi asked as he looked into Renji's eyes.

As Renji looked into Hisagi's eyes, he saw traces of tears around them, trails still glistening down his cheeks. Looking into those eyes, Renji only saw the pain that the captain was going through. What he had done had hurt him as well. Kira wasn't the only victim. The sound of sorrow was still within his breathing, the slight sound of rasping still in his breathing rate as he looked at the 13th Division captain. Renji suddenly felt his anger start to melt away as he watched Hisagi's eyes fall deeper into a pit of sorrow.

"What happened?" Renji asked as he wiped away a single tear from Hisagi's cheek, feeling his body start to tremble as their eyes met one more time. "Why are you crying?"

Renji suddenly felt Hisagi's body fall against his, his arms wrapped around him tightly in a trembling embrace. At that moment, Renji could feel all of the pain that Hisagi had gone through since the day that Tousen left him, placing a hand on the back of his head as he closed his eyes as well. Hisagi was breaking more and more everyday that went by. As Hisagi kept shuddering, Renji could feel the desperation of his actions, the heartache that he so deeply wanted to mend. At that moment he knew that he could not strike him down, he could only stand there and hold him.

"I did something horrible…" Hisagi breathed.

"Kira forgives you about Hinamori…" Renji consoled as he felt more sorrow in Hisagi's voice.

"No, not that," Hisagi breathed as he looked into Renji's eyes. "I'm going to die…"

"Die?" Renji laughed. "No one's going to die."

"I am…" Hisagi whimpered. "You don't understand… I have no choice! I have to do this, no matter how much it hurts me, Hinamori, Kira… I have to do this. I don't have a choice. I don't…"

"What are you talking about?"

Hisagi took a deep breath. "I'm going to war."

"War?" Renji shook his head. "I don't…"

"Hueco Mundo is plotting an attack on the Soul Society… we have to stop them. I was chosen to lead the troops there…" Hisagi looked away as Renji shook his head. "I have no choice! I told you that…"

"You do have a choice. Everyone always has a choice…"

"What choice do I have? No matter what I do, these captains are going to hate me!" Hisagi backed away from Renji, his eyes never leaving the 13th Division captain's. "They are going to want to tear me limb from limb until there is nothing left of me, just because of a fate that I didn't even want. I didn't choose to be this way… I wish that they left me for dead… Hisagi Shuuhei is dead to them anyway…"

Renji looked at the 9th Division captain. Nothing that he said was true. As he looked at him, he still saw that pillar of strength that Kira had always envied, the man that made the path for every lieutenant to follow, the man that Yamamoto picked himself to be a captain. He didn't see the monster that Hisagi thought he was, he saw something different.

"Hisagi Shuuhei isn't dead," Renji sighed as he looked at Hisagi. "He's standing right in front of me. No matter what heart you have in your chest, no matter what power you have, you're always going to be who you are…"

"Maybe in your eyes, not in mine, never again…" Hisagi looked away. "I don't know if I will ever feel the way that I did before all of this, but this will be the closest that I will be there to becoming me again."

Renji looked at Hisagi long and hard. He was losing himself in this game that they had called life. He was slowly falling out of the world that he had once known, the place that he had once walked. Renji looked deep into those eyes and watched as Hisagi fell deeper into depression, the same depression that almost killed him before. He couldn't look into those eyes knowing the pain that they had caused Kira and Hinamori. He did something that they were both afraid to do: he took a stern step forward.

"What if…" Renji breathed. "You didn't have to go alone…?" he closed his eyes as Hisagi's body froze in place. "What if… I went with you?"

Hisagi shook his head. "Rukia…"

"Rukia will be fine…"

"I can't let you leave Rukia like that."

"Hisagi-san!" Renji looked deeper into Hisagi's eyes. "I will be damned if I sit here and wait for you to get killed in some pointless war. I will be damned if I sit back and do nothing again," he smiled watching Hisagi tense up only slightly. "I'll be damned if I let you have all of the fun."

Hisagi chuckled as a single tear fell down his cheek. "You'd do all of that… sacrifice your life… for me?"

"It's not like I haven't done it before…" Renji smiled. "And I know that you would do the same for me…"

Hisagi smiled as he closed his eyes. "Thank you… Abarai…"

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ukitake stood in front of all of the captains as he watched Hisagi and Renji walk back into the room. He could still see the tears that were in Hisagi's eyes as he avoided eyes contact with most of the other captains, Renji staying close to him as they walked through the room. The tension between the two of them made Ukitake uneasy as he knew that something was slowly happening inside of Hisagi's mind as the world that he loved was starting to crumble beneath his feet. This was only made worse when he looked at Kira.

Kira tried to avoid eye contact with Hisagi as Hisagi tried to keep his eyes on Hinamori whenever the blond glared at him. Hinamori only responded by looking back and forth between Hisagi and Kira a look of confusion in her eyes. Ukitake looked at all of his captains and saw that they were starting to fall apart, taking their own stands on the issues that were occurring within their society. He looked at all of them and knew that it had to stop.

"I think it's about time that I told you why we're here," he watched as Hisagi bowed his head. "Many of you know the reason why. Many of you know what's occurring in Hueco Mundo since Aizen's death."

"If you can even call it that…" Kurotsuchi scoffed as he looked at Hisagi. "Aizen Sousuke isn't dead, Ukitake. _You _gave him a new body."

Ukitake didn't let that get him off topic. "There have been strange bursts of power in Hueco Mundo. The hollows are trying to do something."

"What are they trying to do? Without Aizen what can they even do?" Kuchiki asked. "Aizen was the one calling the shots."

Kurotsuchi shook his head. "Ichimaru Gin and Tousen Kaname are behind this."

Kuchiki took a step forward, his eyes practically melting the 12th Division captain right where he stood. "You're wrong, they made a pact, they aren't going to break that for a place that only Aizen had interest in."

"Did you interview Ichimaru? Ichimaru is a liar look what he did to us before. He deceived us. We should have cut off his head while he still had the chance," Kurotsuchi looked straight at Ukitake. "Problem solved. Kill Ichimaru, kill Tousen, kill Aizen, and then we'll all be at peace.

Ukitake watched Kira take a step forward, his eyes burning matching the fire in his voice. "Aizen _is_ dead!"

"You can deceive yourself but I know better. Aizen is alive; you just transferred him from one body to another. Now you let Aizen run around here like it's nothing. You don't even label him as Aizen."

"I've had it with you, Kurotsuchi!" Komamura yelled as he took a step toward the other captain.

Ukitake looked at Hisagi, watching his eyes close as he heard all of the words fill the room. The words that Kyouraku had been saying were coming back to him as he thought of Hisagi's pride; it was slowly breaking in front of him. The thought of that day when the 4th Division had told him that heart transplant was the only way to save his life. He agreed to it. He was the one who put him through this suffering, but what happened next wasn't something that he ever expected Hisagi to say.

"If you think I'm Aizen so much? Why are you provoking me? I could kick your sorry ass in a minute!" Hisagi took a step toward Kurotsuchi. "Or is it that you're scared of what I'm capable of."

"You're capable of shit!" Kurotsuchi yelled as he looked at Hisagi. "You're only sixty percent Aizen."

Hisagi rolled his eyes. "Just shut your fucking mouth then. We're at war and all you care about is how long I've been a captain for. You're so petty."

Ukitake looked at Renji and then at Kira to see the looks in their eyes as they watched Hisagi stare straight at Kurotsuchi. Something wasn't right, something deep inside of them was joyous as they finally saw him start to stand up for himself. Yet as he looked at Hinamori he saw fear in her eyes, like it was the second coming of Aizen. Ukitake gazed at Hisagi again, there was no sign of Aizen Sousuke within him, it was something they hadn't seen in a while, it was Hisagi Shuuhei.

"You're lucky they let you live…" Zaraki scoffed as he looekd at Hisagi.

"You're lucky they let _you_ live…" Komamura hissed.

Hisagi looked at Kurotsuchi. "Don't you have better things to do then try to kill me?"

"No, you're the enemy. I kill the enemy," Kurotsuchi shrugged.

"You kill your own men too, so I guess no matter whose side I'm on you want me dead."

Kira looked at Hisagi, a mix of fear and admiration in his eyes as he watched him continue to yell at the 12th Division captain. "Hisagi-san…"

"I know what you want to do to me," Hisagi hissed.

"Then you must know what Kyouraku wants to do to you as well," Kurotsuchi snickered. "He wants to rip that heart right out of your chest."

"Shut up…" Kyouraku hissed as he looked at the 12th Division captain. "I said if he ever turned into Aizen. He's not Aizen. He's Hisagi Shuuhei."

Ukitake looked at the way his society was turning out as he watched more arguments amongst captains break out. His heart started to sink as he thought about how everyone had changed since the moment that Yamamoto died. There was nothing that he could do to stop it all. All he could do was watch.

"You should have never said that in the first place!" Renji yelled, looking straight at Kyouraku. "You knew that he would eventually hear about it. Did you expect him to take it? How would you like it if someone talked about dismembering you?"

"I said only if Aizen arose again," Kyouraku argued. "How would you keep the peace?"

"I don't need to. Aizen's dead!" Renji yelled as he took a step closer. "Killing Hisagi isn't going to do anything but decrease our powers."

Hitsugaya scoffed. "He does have Aizen in his chest. Sixty percent, that's enough to make a lot of us uncomfortable. I know that a lot of us are against Aizen coming back to the point where we will sacrifice Hisagi to prevent it."

"How can you even think like that?" Kira asked. "He's got just as much right to live as we all do."

"And when he turns into Aizen we will do something about it," Soi Fong breathed. "Right now we don't want to do anything to him."

"Speak for yourself. I want to rip him into tiny little pieces," Kurotsuchi smiled coldly.

Hisagi sneered at him. "Fuck you!"

"Whoa! Aizen-chan has a potty mouth!"

Ukitake looked at the men who were fighting against one another; the war over Hisagi was unraveling right before his eyes. Renji, Kuchiki, Kira, Hinamori, and Komamura were on one side; the other consisted of Kurotsuchi and Zaraki while Soi Fong, Kyouraku, and Hitsugaya only partially agreed with what was being argued. Unohana had stayed quiet as only a slight amount of guilt in her eyes as she saw the torture that they had put Hisagi through.

"You need to get a life!" Hinamori yelled at Kurotsuchi.

"Oh, now he has to have his whore talk for him!" the 12th Division captain laughed.

"That's enough!" Hisagi yelled as he placed a hand on the hilt of his zanpakutou. "I'll kill you if you talk to her like that ever again."

"Kyouka Suigetsu?"

"Kazeshini."

Kurotsuchi nodded. "Alright, I get it. You're only Kyouka Suigetsu with Hinamori but when you're kissing Ichimaru-chan outside, everything changes."

Ukitake closed his eyes as the first punch was thrown, not wanting to see what had happened. But as he opened his eyes he saw Kira standing over Kurotsuchi, a bloodthirsty look in his eyes, as his hand was still curled in a fist. Ukitake now saw how much Kira had changed; he was no longer than timid lieutenant who had nowhere to go. He was different. He was able to stand on his feet.

"Don't you dare talk to Hisagi that way! I'll kill you if you do!" he looked over his shoulder at Hisagi who had his head bowed in shame.

Kurotsuchi looked into Kira's eyes with a smile. "Just like Ichimaru-chan to defend Aizen-chan… no matter what."

Ukitake finally took his stand as he took a step forward. "Look at you! All of you…" he shook his head. "Have you forgotten what we're here for? Have you forgotten what we have worked so long and so hard for? For all of you to rip each other to shreds? I look at you and I don't see captains, I see nothing more than beasts wanting to devour each other. We shouldn't take sides. We're all on the same side. The side that will make this society stronger than Genryuusai-dono ever had it, in his memory we have to be stronger."

He watched as all of the captains looked straight at him, all of the hate in the room disappearing for a split second as he saw the shinigami who were going to preserve the land that they lived in. He closed his eyes as he thought of what had happened since Yamamoto died, all of the captains started placing the blame on others, no one thinking highly of Ukitake. Now as he saw them all look at him, Ukitake knew he was all they had. He was their only hope.

"We are at war, and we have to stop it," Ukitake continued.

"When is this war?" Hinamori asked.

"In around six weeks the captains that I have chosen will go forth and destroy Las Noches," Ukitake watched as Hisagi avoided eye contact.

"And when will they be coming back?" Hisagi asked, his voice low.

"When the war is won."

"What if the war is never won? What if the captains die?" Kira asked as he looked at Hisagi.

Ukitake was going to respond before Hisagi interrupted him. "He'll send more and more until they finally win."

"Ukitake-sama would never sacrifice so many lives!" Kira argued.

"Ukitake-sama will have no choice if the captains die. Do you want Hueco Mundo to destroy us like they've been planning to?" Hisagi shook his head as he looked into Kira's eyes. "Don't be an idiot."

Kira scoffed. "Maybe the captains should be smarter than to run right into a death trap!"

"Maybe the captains have a reason to do that!"

"Maybe the captains should have consulted his comrades before they got themselves killed!"

"Maybe the captains didn't want his comrades to get hurt!"

Kira was silence for a split second as the two of them started yelling at the same time. "That's bullshit!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

The argument heated up as Ukitake watched the two of them continue to look at each other with eyes full of despair. All of the captains looked at the two captains yelling at each other, none of them wanting to intervene in their conversation. Ukitake could feel the surges in their reiatsu as they kept yelling at one another, but for a second he thought that he saw a tear run down Kira's cheek.

"The captains shouldn't do anything on their own," Kira begged. "The captains should know that there are people who care about them. People who _love _them more than anything…"

Hisagi closed his eyes. "They know that, that's why they have to do it…"

"How many captains are going?" Renji asked again as he interrupted the "lover's quarrel" that the two captains were having.

"T-two…" Ukitake answered confusedly as he looked at the two captains, glancing over at Hinamori to see a shocked look on her face. "Two captains will be going. Each captain will lead not only their division, but a few others as well. The divisions will be split up depending on how the captains choose them. However, the 4th Division will send an officer to lead the healing corps."

Unohana nodded. "Understood."

Renji looked at Kira. "The captains can do what they feel is right, Kira. After all, we don't know who they are…"

"Abarai-kun…" Kira breathed.

"So are we done here?" Hinamori asked as she looked at Hisagi.

Ukitake looked at all of his captains. They were all changing. Everyone of them getting closer and falling apart from one another. They were a kaleidoscope and as time turned the lens, all of them changed the route they were going, falling away from those that they had once held close, destroying the mosaic that Yamamoto had built. He looked at them and he didn't even recognize the captains that were in front of him.

"Yeah," he breathed as he looked at his captains, his heart breaking. "We're done…"

He watched as the captains walked out of the room, only one captain standing in the middle of the floor, not walking away from Ukitake with the other captains. Ukitake looked up to see Abarai Renji still standing there looking into his eyes as he took a step forward. Ukitake stared aimlessly at the captain as he watched as he had no intention of leaving. Taking a step forward, Ukitake obliged his question.

"What seems to be the trouble, Abarai-taichou?" Ukitake asked.

"It's about the war, Ukitake-soutaichou," he took a deep breath. "I know that you chose Hisagi-san to go… you know what that could do to Kira's sanity."

"I know…"

"Then you know why I'm here… I'm here to offer myself to the war. I don't know who you picked for the other captain, frankly I don't give a shit, but in order to protect Hisagi-san, Kira, and Hinamori, I have to go in the place of who you were going to send instead."

"What about Kuchiki-fukutaichou?" Ukitake asked as he looked into Renji's eyes. "Surely your fiancée…"

"She'll understand. You know that I'm the only one that Zaraki will listen to and trust. If you send solely Hisagi, you are going to get him killed. The 11th Division won't obey him…" Renji sighed. "I'm your only option…"

Ukitake looked into Renji's eyes as he said that, there was no sign of fear, there was no sign of regret, there was no sign of sorrow. He was selflessly sacrificing himself so that Hisagi wouldn't get destroyed. Ukitake looked at Renji and knew that he was one of the captains that he could still see as someone who remained unchanged. A smile rolled across his face as he looked at Renji. He couldn't give up.

"You want to go to war?" Ukitake asked. "If you understand the risks then you may go…"

Renji nodded. "I know what will happen to me, and I'm fine with it. If that man lost his life I would feel a lot more pain than killing myself. I would gladly give my life for that man, no regrets…"

Ukitake heard those words as he closed his eyes. War was afoot, but somehow he knew that everyone was going to come out alright. He saw the small glint of innocence that was still within the world. He knew that everything was going to form into the peace that he had always wanted, the peace that Yamamoto wanted to give to him. He was going to do his sensei proud.

"Very well then…"

* * *

This chapter was mostly an arguement to see how the sides in a later conflict will be. There is also more light on the fight that will occur between Kira and Hisagi, and also the betrayal that Hinamori is starting to feel as she sees Kira try to make passes on Hisagi. The second captain was also announced. Renji will be going with Hisagi!

The next chapter Ikkaku will finally make a choice, Kira tries to put more moves on Hisagi, and Rukia finds out about Renji's descision. That will be up soon. February I'm going to try to get a lot of my ideas down so that you can enjoy them. She my profile for details (That includes a sequel to this story called _Broken Wings_.)

Like what you read? Feel free to PM a request. See profile for details.

And feel free to review.

Only two chapters of this left!


	13. Chapter 13

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Hisagi/Kira, Renji x Rukia, and Ikkaku/Yumichika  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, somelanguage, sexual references, homosexuality, and references to: violence, death, and war. There are also a few errors in here, but I actually read through this chapter. This is also really late, thank you for putting up with me.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does

* * *

Hinamori remembered that look in Hisagi's eyes as his secret was revealed. He had kissed Kira. As she watched him walk alongside her she could feel the pain that was going through his body. She couldn't believe everything that had happened, after he had tried so hard to get her, only a few moments later he was locking lips with the man that was trying to keep them apart. As she looked at him, she knew that he must have felt some sort of guilt.

There they sat in the 9th Division on different sides of the office, even though it had been a week since that moment, she still couldn't fight the emotions that were going through her mind. Every time they kissed she could taste Kira, every time they made love she knew he was thinking of him. She looked at Hisagi as he looked at her from across the office.

"You haven't said anything for three hours," he breathed with a nervous smile. "I'm going crazy here…"

She looked at him, seeing the pain that he was feeling as the silence continued. She saw the look in his eyes as she finally met his, his body froze as he looked away. Everything that had happened, that moment where he had kissed Kira to the moment where they had continued in silence, she no longer knew what world she was living in. She looked at Hisagi and all of the love that she had felt was slowly dying as he kept her eyes on him, her heart breaking as she felt that sensation.

"I don't know how to say it again…" Hisagi sighed. "I'm sorry… I don't know what came over me… that's not how I wanted you to find out…"

"Then what did you want? To tell me?" she asked as she shook her head. "How did you think I'd react?"

"I didn't think you'd be alright with it for a week and then all of a sudden be pissed again!" he yelled as he stood up. "I've apologized and apologized but you just can't accept my apology, can you?"

"I don't know…"

Hisagi shook his head as he tone in his voice changed, he was no longer attempt to make amends, he had given up. "Fine, don't forgive me…"

"How do I know you're sorry? How do I know that you don't love him?" Hinamori asked as she looked at the captain.

"Because I destroyed everything: my name, my friendships, my sanity! I destroyed all of that for _you_! Not Kira! _You_!" he shook his head as he looked away from her. "Maybe… we don't love each other anymore… maybe we never did. Maybe this was all a huge mistake…"

Hinamori looked at Hisagi, was this how she wanted to spend her last few moments with him? Fighting over something that was so small? As she looked at Hisagi she felt a deep sorrow within her body as she thought of the war and how there was a chance he was going to die. The countdown was happening; it had already been a week since the time that Ukitake had announced it, she only had a little over a month left. She looked at her lover and realized that this could be the end of them, forever.

"It's not a mistake… I love you…" she breathed as she looked into his eyes. "It's just sometimes…"

"Sometimes what? You don't think I love you? I kissed one guy. It's not like I'm in love with him. I had a low moment… _very _low," he looked into her eyes as a smile rolled across his face. "_Extremely _low."

She looked into his eyes. "I know… I guess I'm just scared…"

"Scared of why?"

"You, going away…" she shook her head. "I have no guarantee that you're going to come back…"

"I'll be back," he smiled. "I promise…"

"You promised Kira-kun that you would come back then too…"

"I _really _promise…"

She shook her head. "Don't promise me anything. It'll only hurt more when you don't come back to me…"

He sighed. "But I _will_ be back…"

She smiled as she closed her eyes. "I know you will…"

As the moments went by she could feel the hourglass start to lose sand, the time that she had with Hisagi slowly disappearing as every moment passed. She walked across the room to be closer to him, feeling the fleeting warmth of his body, feeling the fleeting sensation of him being with her. She closed her eyes tightly as she rested her head on his shoulder, a tear rolling down her cheek as she wondered if they were going to survive all of this. She closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his body. They were going to make it.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ikkaku walked out of the 11th Division, he couldn't stay here anymore. He had to leave while he still had the chance to keep some of the sanity that he had known to love. He looked into the distance; he heard a voice call out to him.

"Where do you think that you're going?" Zaraki asked as he walked toward him.

"Away…" Ikkaku breathed.

"Where is away?" Zaraki asked. "Are you going to the 6th Division again? I've received complaints, but I didn't want to believe it. You're still talking to him aren't you?"

Ikkaku closed his eyes tightly as he heard those words, his body starting to shudder as he thought of everything that he had been through. His whole life was destroyed because of this man. Once he thought this was what he wanted, once he thought that this was going to keep him content forever. Once he thought that everything was going to work itself out, they were all going to live happily ever after. The end, everything would work out for the best. Now as he looked around, he knew that wasn't the case.

"Yes," he answered. "I am. What are you going to do? You can't stop me!"

"Why?" Zaraki asked.

"What do you mean?" Ikkaku's voice was thick with rage.

"I don't see why you even want to talk to that weakling."

Ikkaku shook his head. "That man is stronger than I am; at least he knows when the times are changing. Four lieutenants are now captains. We're at war. Ukitake is the soutaichou. Aizen is dead. Ichimaru and Tousen are on our side. This is something completely different and I feel as though during all of this, I'm the one who hasn't changed at all. I'm the one who is still behind everyone else. No more," he turned away from his captain. "I can't be the one who sits still when everyone else is moving forward."

"How can you call that forward?" Zaraki asked. "They filled spots after people died. Those cowards are now on our side because Ichimaru has the bitter taste of revenge in his mouth. There is no change, there is only the false hope that you want to be called change. You are buying into this shit."

"False hope? How can it be false when I feel it like it's real? When Yamamoto died, we all thought hope was dead as well. Then Ukitake-sama stood up and he took the position that he had felt was his right. And those lieutenants, those stupid kids…" he smiled. "If they can do it, I can do it… I can't remain this backward fool that I've been, hanging onto dreams of the past. I have to go my own way."

"If you walk away, don't come back to the 11th Division…"

Ikkaku didn't have to think of that as he walked away from his captain. Getting rid of the 11th Division was the best thing that he had ever done. Now he felt free. For the first time in his life he felt as though the times were changing. The Soul Society couldn't go back to how it was before.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"You volunteered for the war?" Rukia asked as she looked into Renji's eyes. "Did you even think of how it would make me feel?"

Renji shook his head. "Someone has to go…"

"Why you?"

"Why not me?"

"Don't give me that bullshit!" Rukia closed her eyes as she couldn't look at him. "There are other captains. There are more people who could go. Why did you choose to go in their place when you know that I need you here…"

Renji closed his eyes as he felt her sorrow. Was he even thinking of her when he made that choice? That was what she was getting at. He remembered the day when he walked in on Hisagi, he was so broken, he needed someone to be with him, he needed someone to lean on. Hisagi had lost everything as Renji had gained so much, he was stuck watching the comrades that he had once held so close fall into despair while he experienced a happiness that they had all wanted. He knew that he was being selfish; he knew that he was going to hurt her. He knew a lot of things, but as he tried to tell her, he couldn't. He couldn't give her the reason of why he needed to go. He didn't quite know himself; he just knew that Hisagi needed him.

"I know," he answered. "But I'm needed there as well. They need someone the 11th Division will work well with. You know the other captain is probably Kira or Hisagi…" he closed his eyes. "They won't listen to either of them… and if it is Hisagi they need someone who has enough sense to tell those 12th Division swine not to cut that heart out of his chest. I'm need there because I'm the only one who can save those two."

"Hinamori…"

"Can't save them," Renji interrupted. "Hinamori's emotions toward Hisagi-san are too clouded, she isn't emotionally able to protect him the way that I can. You know that no one is more qualified than me."

"I was scared when I heard you became a captain. I knew something like this would happen. I knew you'd leave me…" she breathed.

"I'm not going to leave you," Renji smiled as he closed his eyes, as she moved to embrace her tightly. "I'll be back… I promise…"

As he said those words, he knew that he shouldn't have. There was no guarantee that he was going to come back to her. There was no guarantee that she would even wait for him to come back. But he said to shave off tense emotions, yet the emotions were not hers, they were his.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Ikkaku walked deeper into the 1st Division as he thought back to his captain. He knew that he was going to have to leave that division; the second that Yumichika was no longer there he had no home. He walked deeper as he thought back to the words of Ukitake, he had to do what he needed to do, he had to do what his heart wanted. He couldn't do what everyone else wanted him to do, it was time for him to stand up and make a choice.

Was this how Yumichika felt? Was this how he felt on the day that Zaraki let him go? He was nothing more than a homeless dog that was on his way to the only home that he could ever have. He walked closer to Ukitake as he thought of all that had happened. This was the choice that he was going to make. His pride and his promise were the same thing: they were Yumichika.

He walked through the door to see Ukitake standing there, his dark eyes looking down at him as he realized he was there. Ikkaku walked closer to see the soutaichou looking at him, a look of surprise on his face.

"Madarame?" Ukitake asked. "What are you doing here?"

Ikkaku looked at the soutaichou. "I have a request…"

Ukitake raised an eyebrow as he looked at him. "A request?"

Ikkaku smiled as he said the next words. "I quit the 11th Division today."

"What?" Ukitake asked. "You quit the 11th Division?"

"I couldn't be there anymore. I couldn't be in a world where I'm going to stay the same in the ever-changing world. I mean isn't that what you're all about: change? How can I be the same when everyone else is acting so differently?" Ikkaku asked. "I don't want to act the way I did during the Yamamoto days."

Ukitake nodded. "I see where you're coming from, but now what are you going to do? You don't have a job."

"That's where you come in…"

"Go on…" Ukitake looked at the former 3rd seat, a look of curiosity and excitement on his face.

"I would like to become your lieutenant."

Ukitake smiled as he heard those words. "I was wondering when you were going to ask that."

Ikkaku smiled as he looked at the soutaichou, change was upon them. This was going to be the first step to a new world. Everyone was transforming into something better, he was not going to be left behind. Not this time.

0o0o0o0o0o0

Kira walked into the 9th Division, a look of despair on his face. "Just tell the truth," he said as he looked at the 9th Division captain. "Tell the truth now or just cut it out!" he took a step forward.

Hisagi looked up at Kira. "What are you talking about?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. You've been leading me on," Kira shook his head. "This whole time you've been teasing me. Stop it, Isai-san! I can't take it anymore. You're making it difficult."

Hisagi rolled his eyes. "I haven't done anything."

"What about that kiss?"

The room became silent at that moment, Hisagi's eyes locking with Kira's as the 3rd Division captain's body started to shake. Tension filled the air, the two of them looking into each other's eyes as they thought back to that moment. Hisagi looked away for a split second, anger bubbling within Kira as he saw the gesture. Hisagi was trying to make it seem as though it never happened, but Kira knew better. Out of anger he walked closer to the desk and slammed a hand against it.

"Damn it, Hisagi!" he shook his head. "Why are you being like this? I know you didn't do that by mistake. You have been trying to get closer to me for a while. That's why you got with Hinamori; you want to be with me so you took her away from me so that I had to wait for you!"

"Why would you say something like that?" Hisagi asked as he looked into Kira's eyes. "I'm not using Hinamori to get to you. I love her…"

"Stop saying that!" Kira groaned. "You don't love her."

"Is this to fuel some fantasy that I'm in love with you?" Hisagi asked. "It's not like that. We were at war that whole time. The tension, all of the stress, I acted out on it. It was a mistake Kira…"

"Then let me ask you a question," Kira's eyes were starting to water. "That kiss… did you mean it? Or were you just overtaken by the moment like you say you were?" Kira asked as he looked deeper into Hisagi's eyes. "This whole time, the whole war between the two of us has been over one thing… neither of us really love Hinamori."

"That's a lie," Hisagi backed away from Kira. "I love Hinamori more than anything, Kira. One kiss isn't going to take that away from me."

Kira closed his eyes and sighed, Hisagi's heart skipping a beat as he looked at the 3rd Division captain. His heart started to melt as he looked at him, his body shuddering as he came closer. The feeling of Kira so close to him, made him tremble, his breath halting as he felt Kira's hands pull at his haori. He closed his eyes tightly as he heard the garment hit the ground, feeling Kira's arms around him in a passionate embrace, his breath falling gently into his ear as he closed his eyes tightly.

"Isai-san…" Kira whispered. "I don't want you to go…"

Hisagi froze as he felt Kira's arms wrap around him. "I have no choice…"

"You could die…" Kira panted as he rested his forehead on the crook of Hisagi's neck, hearing a muffled cry from the 9th Division captain. "I don't want to lose you… it's like I just got you back after what Aizen did and now I'm losing you all over again."

"I'll be back…"

"How can you guarantee that?" Kira asked as his hands tightened on Hisagi's back, his handfuls of cloth tightening. "Isai-san… please…"

Hisagi moved his fingers to run through Kira's golden hair, his fingers trembling as he felt Kira's breathing speeding up, both of their heart rates sky rocketing. As he kept tracing through the golden locks he thought of that kiss, he swallowed hard as he remembered the way that Kira's lips felt up against his, his body shuddering as he moved his fingers to gently caress his chin, moving his head to look into his eyes.

"I-Isai-san…?" Kira asked as he felt Hisagi's breath moving closer to mix with his. "I don't want you to leave without knowing whether something is true. Did you mean that kiss?"

Their lips met again, repeating their sin as Hisagi's hands moved to push the haori off of Kira, hearing the blond moan at the feeling of Hisagi so close to him. Thoughts of Hinamori flickered in his mind as he kissed Kira, memories of the love that they had shared for one another. Everything rolled through his mind as he kissed Kira, yet he still was unable to let him go. Something deep inside of him wanted to do this, whether it was the lust that he body craved or the will of his heart, he didn't know, he had a feeling he would never know.

He had lost control of himself at that moment as he found his fingers gently getting Kira out of his uniform, his lips assaulting his neck, shoulders, and chin. Every breath that passed Kira's lips was only fuel for the fire as he took his lips one more time, feeling Kira's trembling body against his feeling a single tear fall down his cheek.

"Isai-san…" Kira breathed as Hisagi left his lips, his body trembling harshly as he felt Hisagi so close to him, his body starting to shudder as he ran a finger along the scar that was on Hisagi's chest. "I…"

"I know…" Hisagi breathed as he placed Kira on the desk, still kissing at his neck.

"Isai-san…" Kira panted as he felt his lips up against his neck. "Please…"

Hisagi scoffed as he backed away from his best friend with a smile. "You came in here to seduce me because…? If you don't have feelings that you want to act upon before I die, why did you come here?"

Kira took a deep breath as he looked into Hisagi's eyes, his body trembling. "I have wanted you for a while…" he reached out an arm to pull Hisagi's closer, resting his head on his chest. "But something about this… doesn't it feel wrong?"

"I'm going to die…" Hisagi answered, watching Kira's body tremble as he said those words. "Can you live with yourself not doing this?"

Kira closed his eyes tightly. "Do you love her?"

"I don't know…" Hisagi closed his eyes, a tear forming in his eye. "I think I do but you… you make it difficult…"

"You have a whole war to think about it, and then you'll come back with your choice. Her or me…"

Hisagi closed his eyes tighter as he thought of those words that came out of Kira's mouth. His nerves were at unease, as the situation flared up into something bigger. This was going to alter the rest of his life. Suddenly the war didn't seem so daunting.

0o0o0o0o0o0

He stood outside of the 6th Division, closing his eyes as he thought about the day. He had given up the chance of a lifetime and started over. He left the 11th Division with no regrets. It was only then when he was able to see what he had lost. Yumichika was more than friend to him and it too him this long to realize it. After all of the years, all of the time they shared he never felt the way that he had felt around him earlier as he watched him walk alongside the other lieutenants. He was different.

"Yumichika!" he called out as he watched the lieutenant walk away from him. "Wait!"

The lieutenant looked over his shoulder at his former division member. "What is it now, Madarame?"

Ikkaku looked into Yumichika's eyes. He looked different than he did before. He looked even more beautiful. He had taken everything that Ikkaku had said to heart, he had finally fallen into a comfort zone, feeling as though he could survive in the new world he had become entwined with.

"It's been a while," Ikkaku stated.

Yumichika rolled his eyes. "Go back to the 11th Division…"

"I can't," Ikkaku stated as he watched the lieutenant freeze. "I quit."

"What?" Yumichika asked. "Are you retarded? The 11th Division meant everything to you…"

"No, it meant everything to _us_," he walked toward Yumichika. "Without you it's pointless to be there. I can't live in that place when I know that you're in another division, so far from me…"

Yumichika closed his eyes as he turned around. "Stop it. I told you to leave me alone…"

"I never did take a habit in listening to you," Ikkaku smiled as he looked at him. "When are you going to learn that?"

"Ikkaku," Yumichika breathed. "I…"

"Don't say anything," Ikkaku breathed as he walked toward him. "I know…"

At that moment he was overtaken by everything that was within him and he grasped the lieutenant, pressing his lips forcefully up against his in a kiss. The moments of protest were short lived as Yumichika soon melted into the kiss, his arms wrapping around Ikkaku, his body starting to become heavy as the contact became more intense.

Yumichika closed his eyes tightly a small coo passing his lips as Ikkaku's tongue invaded his mouth. It had been so long since they had been together, so long since the moment where Zaraki had banished the former 5th seat for having a "weak" zanpakutou. Now it seemed like all of that was forgotten, all of the strife was washed away for a moment.

"Ikkaku…" he breathed as they separated, his eyes watering. "I missed you…"

"I missed you too," Ikkaku responded with a sly smile before kissing him on the forehead. "I love you…"

Yumichika pressed closer against Ikkaku's body, his eyes closing tighter. The kiss intensified as they thought back to all of the moments that they had shared. Everything that they had don e together was all for this, everything that they had ever felt for one another was slowly becoming sang out loud as they moved closer to each other. And as Ikkaku pressed himself harsher against Yumichika's body he knew this is what he had wanted for all of his life.

* * *

This chapter is the second to last one, the end is near for _Kaleidoscope_, there is a sequel however called _Broken Wings _that I am starting to work on and will be out after this is done. Look forward to seeing that (it will focus more on the choice that Hisagi makes between Kira and Hinamori.)

Also all of the spots are filled except for 9th Division lieutenant which will be filled in the next installment.

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request (see profile for details.)

Also feel free to review.


	14. Chapter 14

**Pairings:** This chapter contains Hisagi x Hinamori, Hisagi/Kira, Renji x Rukia, and very slight Hisagi x Matsumoto  
**Rating:** M  
**Warnings:** There is also slight OOC, some language, sexual references, some homosexuality, and references to: violence, death, and war. There are also a few errors in here that I most likely didn't catch. This is also really short and a really shitty ending, but there is going to be a sequel (see below for details).  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own **Bleach**, Tite Kubo does

* * *

Hisagi stepped out of the 9th Division and started to walk toward the 1st Division as the wind blew gently against his face. This was the last day of his life here as they were to march off to war today. He looked around to see the Soul Society for one last time, seeing his men walking up and down the streets, silently bowing to him as he continued to walk toward the building. All of them didn't say a word as they looked at their captain, knowing there was a chance that he was never going to return to the Soul Society, all of them expecting to have a new captain soon.

Every movement he made closer to the 1st Division, he could see his men bow to him one by one as they all knew that he was going away from them, most likely never to return. As all of them bowed to him, he closed his eyes tightly, all of the fear of war coming back to him as he realized that his life would soon be over. Yet he kept moving as the bows continued, trying to ignore the sorrow that was bubbling within him, this was the choice he had made.

He walked by other divisions, seeing the captains all start to walk to the 1st Division, none of them glancing at each other. Hisagi looked over at Kira to see the 3rd Division captain looking at the ground, not even paying attention to him as his body shook with sorrow. Not even Hinamori could look at him as they walked forward, no one wanting to make any feelings that they could develop make the separation harder. He was no longer a captain to them, he was a warrior. He was as good as dead.

As they arrived to the building they walked through the door silently all of them lining up in order as Ukitake stood in front of them. The tension was high as the war was already starting to erupt around them. Aizen had left the Soul Society in a mess after he died all of the loose ends that he had left coming to haunt them as they tried to put all of the pieces back together. Sacrifice had to be made to make their lives whole again, so as they all looked at Ukitake they knew that this was the first sacrifice that had to be made.

"I think you know why we've assembled here today," Ukitake announced as he looked at his captains. "Today is the day that we send two of our very own captains to war."

Hisagi looked around the room to see the reactions of all of the other captains, not liking what he saw. He saw blank expressions from all of them, as they kept their eyes on Ukitake, waiting for the captains to be announced, Hisagi closed his eyes as he waited to hear who he'd be working with, his body trembling.

"Who are the captains that you want to send?" Kyouraku asked, not having any problem trying to get information out of Ukitake.

Ukitake looked around the room. "I think that they should tell you," he smiled as he looked at all of the captains. "Will the two captains that I have chosen please step forward and come before me?"

Hisagi moved out of formation and walked up to Ukitake, hearing the gasps fill the room. He closed his eyes tightly as he felt a presence standing next to him, recognizing the reiatsu. He opened his eyes to see the man standing next to him, his heart breaking in the process. It was Renji. After all of the moments where he prayed that it was not going to be Renji, here he was before Ukitake when he summoned his captains.

"Abarai no," Hisagi shook his head. "Rukia…"

Renji was silent, not looking at Hisagi as he turned to look at the other captains. Hisagi looked back at the captains as well as he knew that he wasn't going to get a reason for this out of Captain Abarai, he looked at the other captains, seeing their looks of shock, trying to ignore the tears welling up in Kira's eyes.

"You're a fool, Ukitake," Zaraki scoffed. "You're sending Aizen-chan right into the center of his kingdom."

"He's the only one who can defeat the hollows," Komamura explained. "With Aizen's power it gives him the advantage over him."

"And he's not going alone," Renji explained. "I have been empowered by Ukitake-soutaichou to exterminate Hisagi-san if he is to lose control of himself. I have had a month to come to terms with the death of Hisagi-san at my hands, and I am willing to do it."

Hisagi shook his head. "Abarai…"

Kurotsuchi chuckled. "I'd like to see that happen…"

"Shut your mouth!" Kira stepped forward. "This is insane! You're making it sound like Hisagi-san is going to lose control of himself! He's not Aizen just because he has his heart."

"There's always a chance," Hitsugaya breathed. "A chance that we shouldn't be willing to take. They chose Abarai because he has the most sense in this department whereas a lot of us would kill him if we got him alone in Hueco Mundo. Abarai knows that there is a chance, but he's only going to take it if there is no guarantee that we can get him back to the way he currently is."

Kira shook his head. "You son of a…"

"Kira!" Hisagi called out. "It's alright. I myself have had more time than all of you to come to terms with this. I lost my life once, losing it again isn't going to be that upsetting for me. If I become Aizen, I want to die. I don't want to be a vessel to him…"

"You see," Kyouraku explained. "He's smart."

"That doesn't mean that he supports what you want to do to him," Komamura hissed as he took a step forward. "You monster…"

Ukitake took a step forward, finally taking control of them. "This is not up for discussion. I didn't bring you here to discuss what you are going to do to Hisagi-taichou. I am in charge and as long as I'm in charge none of you are going to touch him," he shook his head. "I have had it with all of you attacking him. I've had it with all of your plans to try to get him to step down. You are going to have to deal with it, and if not then I will be more than happy to take your resignation!"

The room was filled with silence as Hisagi bowed his head seeing Kyouraku go back into place in the line. All of the words that had been said to him didn't even affect him anymore; they were only words upon deaf ears. He looked around and knew that the majority of this room wanted him dead, and in the first time in his life, he no longer cared.

"I called you here to tell you that all divisions will offer men to this war, and these two are going to lead them," Ukitake announced.

"Hisagi Shuuhei is going to lead men?" Kurotsuchi asked. "I don't think that he or Abarai is ready for such a task. You should send more powerful men such as Kuchiki and Kyouraku."

"I would have refused even if he had asked me to," Kuchiki argued. "We need strong men here as well. If we send our most powerful captains into Hueco Mundo and they were to die, then what chance would we have for survival?"

"That's precisely why I chose these two. They are strong, but they are still developing. They also understand that there's a chance that the two of them will die, something they are comfortable doing," Ukitake announced. "Now we have to choose who you want to lead your divisions during this war."

Hisagi looked into Renji's eyes seeing the fear within them as they heard those words. What did the other captains have up their sleeves at this moment? Kurotsuchi was going to be Abarai, as was Zaraki, or were they going to do the opposite? Were they going to pick Hisagi along with Kyouraku so that they knew they could have him killed in action and decorated as a war hero to cover it up? He looked at the three captains hoping that there would be others stop this before it got too out of hand.

All of the moments flashed before his eyes as he knew that this was it, looking at Hinamori and then Kira seeing the two of them staring at each other, a war happening between the two of them. He looked at the other captains as he saw how the moment since Aizen died had changed them more than he had hoped. Everyone was against each other; no one could trust anyone as they went through their everyday lives, so how could they choose who they wanted to control their men?

"Soi Fong-taichou," Ukitake announced. "Who do you choose?"

Hisagi watched as the 2nd Division captain took a step forward. They had talked about her feelings toward him. She thought that he was still on their side until she was given probable reason that he was not. As she stepped forward, she looked at Hisagi and then she looked at Renji, the two of them freezing in place as they heard her choice.

"Hisagi Shuuhei," she answered, Hisagi almost choking on his own breath. "I want Hisagi Shuuhei to lead my men to victory."

Ukitake smiled as he looked at her. "Kira Izuru."

The two of them looked into each others eyes. Kira was mad at Hisagi. All of the moments that they had been through, all of the wars they had fought against one another were flashing before them as they kept their glance. Hisagi looked deeper and thought for a second that he saw a tear in his eye as he looked at him, his glance moving away as he made his choice.

"Hisagi Shuuhei," Kira almost whimpered. "I want Hisagi Shuuhei."

Hisagi bowed his head as he looked at Kira backing away. There were still more to come.

"Unohana will send Isane with some 4th Division healers to take care of the wounded," Ukitake announced.

"We already have them prepped and ready," Unohana answered.

Ukitake didn't waste a minute and got right back on task. "Hinamori Momo."

As Hinamori took a step forward, Hisagi closed his eyes tightly. She had been avoiding him for the past couple of days as if she were trying to adapt to a life without him. She had tried top block out all of the pain in their life, but at that moment he knew that this was going to be difficult for her. The two of them only argued these days, about what happened with Kira, about the war, about anything that they could possibly think of. They had grown apart, and it was only at this moment that the two of them knew what they had done to one another.

"Hisagi," she breathed. "I choose Hisagi."

He knew that it was because she was worried. He knew that she wanted her men to look after him. This was all just to save him from the powers that wanted to destroy him. This was only to protect him and as he looked into her eyes, he knew that she understood the situation fully. She knew that he was going to die, and it broke his heart to see that look in her eyes. After all of the progress that they had made, after all of the moments that they had shared, it was all taken away for a war. He remembered back to the day in the cell, the first day their lips touched one another. It was all slowly fading away as he looked into her eyes. That moment he realized that he had to live, he had to be stronger. He had to make it home.

"Kuchiki Byakuya."

It was obvious who Kuchiki would choose. Kuchiki and Renji had been a team for almost a year. As they looked at each other, Hisagi didn't have to think twice as he heard the words come out of his mouth.

"Abarai Renji," Kuchiki announced.

Ukitake looked at the next captain. "Komamura Sajin."

Komamura had always wanted to protect Hisagi. And on the day that Tousen had left with Ichimaru, he had made a promise to him that he was going to save him from the dark fate that he had been condemned to. As he looked at Hisagi he answered the question, the promise being up kept.

"Hisagi Shuuhei," he breathed as he looked at them.

Ukitake then took a deep breath. "One for Abarai, four for Hisagi," he then looked at Kyouraku. "Shunsui?"

"Abarai Renji," Kyouraku answered immediately.

Kyouraku was the one who had the biggest problem with Hisagi; he was the one who didn't want him to go to the war. Kyouraku Shunsui wanted Hisagi dead; he obviously didn't want his men to serve under him.

Ukitake only nodded. "Hitsugaya Toushirou?"

Hitsugaya looked at Hinamori and then he looked at Hisagi. Hitsugaya didn't like the fact that Aizen was within him. He agreed with everyone else that he didn't deserve the privileges he had while he was Aizen. But with that in mind, it surprised Hisagi when he heard his name pass his lips.

"Hisagi Shuuhei," he breathed.

Hisagi almost fainted as he heard that, looking at Ukitake as he made the final decisions. "Then Kurostuchi Mayuri and Zaraki Kenpachi will be under the control of Abarai Renji, as will my men," he looked at the two captains. "May the two of you lead our troops to victory and close this chapter of fear within the Soul Society."

As Hisagi looked around the room, he knew that this was the last moment that he was going to spend here, even if he did come back these were not the people he was going to return to, he was going to return to a different group. They were all changing and as he moved closer to the door, he knew that there was no denying it

0o0o0o0o0o0

"What do you think will happen if we don't come back?" Renji asked as he looked over at Hisagi.

Hisagi shrugged his shoulders. "They'd replace us. No matter what, we don't mean as much as we think we do, we're nothing but pieces of meat to them, that's all we'll ever be," he looked over at the other shinigami as they walked closer to the gate. "Any regrets?"

"What?" Renji asked as if he didn't understand him.

"Any regrets? Anything that you wished you had done before you left?" Hisagi asked. "You never married Rukia."

Renji sighed as he took a moment of silence. Both of them looked at each other, both of them reminiscing on the lives that they had left behind. At that moment, both of them knew they were going to give up everything to serve their society. But it was the first time where neither of them were scared of losing. Whatever happened, they were going to be alright.

"I don't want to make her a widow," Renji sighed. "There's not guarantee that I'm going to live or die. I can't take that chance. What about you with Hinamori?"

"I don't even know if we still exist as a couple," Hisagi breathed as he looked at him. "After what happened between me and Kira… there's nothing that I really regret. There's nothing I would do over. This is all that I have ever wanted to do."

Renji smiled. "Then shall we go?"

Hisagi nodded, only to hear a voice call out soon after.

"Shinigami," he turned around to see Matsumoto standing there.

"Rangiku-san?" Hisagi asked as he watched her walk closer to him, a sad look upon her face. "What are you doing here?"

The moment became tense as he saw the lieutenant walk closer to him. As he looked at her, he wished that someone else had come. He wondered what happened to Kira and Hinamori, did they still even care? As he thought back on it, he knew that they didn't, they couldn't. He looked into Matsumoto's eyes seeing the words that were about to pass her lips.

Her fingers moved to the back of her neck and undid the clasp that held her necklace shut, removing it from her neck. He watched her hands tremble around the chain of the necklace as her hands moved closer to his own grip. She then placed it in his hand, his fingers wrapping around the chain as her hand slowly moved away.

"Come back, shinigami," she breathed as she closed her eyes tightly. "Don't fade away."

He looked down at the necklace. "Rangiku…"

"Bring back the necklace, don't let it leave your neck until they day you return, or the day that you die," she looked into his eyes before turning to Renji. "Look after him."

Renji nodded. "I will…"

"Don't you die either," Matsumoto smiled. "After all, Rukia's waiting for you."

The 13th Division captain smiled. "I will be back, and so will Hisagi-san."

Hisagi bowed his head as he thought back to those important to him. "How is Kira?"

"Kira's fine," Matsumoto sighed, realizing that Hisagi had said nothing of Hinamori. "Goodbyes are hard for him."

"I know…" Hisagi looked back at the gate, trying not to show the sorrow that was within his eyes as Kira was brought up. "Everything's changing, isn't it?"

"It is," Renji smiled. "But maybe this is good for us. After all we have to come back," he looked at Matsumoto. "Or die trying."

"I will wait anxiously for your return… my captains," she closed her eyes as she watched them both turn around.

The three of them closed their eyes as the two captains walked through the gate, Hisagi wrapping Matsumoto's necklace around his neck as he moved to the gate, to Hueco Mundo. Everything was going to change for them, nothing was ever going to be the same ever again, but they knew that the moment they came back, their lives would finally make sense, it was all falling into place.

0o0o0o0o0o0

"He's gone isn't he?" Kira asked as he looked out the window, Hinamori walking into the office.

She nodded as Kira turned to her, trying to block out the pain that Kira was feeling, trying to forget the kiss that he had shared with Hisagi. "He is."

Kira closed his eyes tightly as he placed his hand up against the window. "Do you think he'll come back, Hinamori-kun?"

"I do hope so, Kira-kun," Hinamori answered as all of the anger for Kira's passion for Hisagi became more obvious to her, she was starting to hate him. "For _your_ sake."

Kira looked out the window at the sky as the sun began to set. Everything that they had been through, every sensation that he had ever felt with Hisagi was all coming back to him like a sea of memories. He thought back onto their relationship seeing the kaleidoscope of good and bad, the darkness and the light of their relationship. As he saw the glass spin in front of him, he could feel his heart sink as he thought to the future. Hisagi Shuuhei had to come back. There was not other option.

"Isai-san," he closed his eyes. "I swear that if you die… I swear…"

He closed his eyes tightly as the first tear fell, his hand trembling against the window.

"I'll die as well…"

* * *

This is it, this is the final chapter _of Kaleidoscope_, it took longer to finish that I thought it would, but school has been pounding me in the rear for the past couple months. I know you're all like "that was a really shitty ending" well there is going to be a sequel. But regarding the sequel, I recently said it would _be Broken Wings,_ well last night while I was sitting in bed I was like, that's one hell of a jump, I was going to skip over the whole war and then there would only be confusion. So there is going to be something between this and _Broken Wings_ called _Dead and Gone_. That will be coming out soon, I hope (it all depends on how school goes for me).

Like what you read? Feel free to PM me a request. See profile for details.

Also, as always, feel free to review. And look forward to _Dead and Gone_!

Hope to hear from all of you.

_sonicarutha_


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